36 Years Old
ctly I have realized t
is that I have tried to
ad to break up with that boy just because I was afraid that he would have broken up w
ots of kissing games and I always had the
ve and curious
ways ended with a broken heart. Most
ain from the broken heart still is there. It didn't
lways dive into a relationship with a
life because I couldn't stand remember
ted for sev
I put my trust in God to put our lives in b
and move on. It wor
no one would know me and that I would forget
g, that I should have gone to polic
said th
They have always loved the way I looked
en I was a teenag
like being overweight. It is not good fo
s I previous wrote, they were my ange
en ran away from home with my boyfriend. But I did come back hom
With his death he took away a part of my
fought with death ma
a father, my best friend, the only one
est way I could, as he d
difficult to
it to anyone, by putting a fake smile on my face and
idn't think that anyone would try to confort me, but to my surprise there were ma
rs ago, I have never thought that I would get such da
will be 9 years old on May 1st, my other daughter Gilda
ll alive, they are my o
ign, at least on this moment when I am feeling a little hope, on other days
ve I really been living w
when I just shut all the connecti
would feel so amused if you would
gues have written to me and most of them have written tha
an say that is
come. Scared to answer a call, scared to have a video
ike I am truly myself, no shyness, no anxiety, no depression. That state of I
n bad moods, like I want to scream from the bottom of my he
verything is fine, although my oldest daughter often realises that I am not ok. I always do
in a bad mood, I feel better, even though he doesn't spen
very well, we try to make
love me back, but now everything had changed as he hurt my heart
, but he didn't let me, he is very decided that w
sible as I still have the ur
t if you could call it like that, to push away eve
to get to the surface. And I did it myself, with no
born, I have alw
independent being. I love to think outsid
be the wolf t
be bipolar too or just
mentally instable woman be able t
at work, either he goes to visit his dad and
s a family, I am not because I am too piss
t you do not know the whole stor
n I am at my darkest p
f, like working, taking care of the kids, doing chores, spend time outside whe
d then I make sure my kids are not around and I start cryin
he bathroom and wash my face a
ain this facade? Will I be able to do it for the rest
grownups, settled in their homes and then I will be happ
hildren and yes it is hard, but I
have kids and exactly when
who do not have kids and they suffe
seek help in doctors, if they
come to this age of
God and my i
ds, I have tried that with my husb
rough writing, I don't know why i
er calls, not me, it is a challenge for me to
each day for several times that everything will be
ngth anymore to say it, I often forge
le to reach for the light at the end of the
all we can actuall
come do and from
hings are supossed to
t I was always righ
ime, just too stubborn to lis
l kid that I was bad, because I didn't
I think it is part of who I am, although
o get along with ever
e would say, because indife
g about what people do, just do your best to be the