Give me time.

what we think they are. I'm bound to remember for a long time how we had to split up because of your immaturity and my sense of constant assurance which I didn't get on the last days

e. Decisions I questioned and I'm still questioning. 💔 His ex from years ago popped up and no! Not physically, in his mind I guess. Remember he only dated online so I'm guessing she was his first online girlfriend? He mentioned her once when we were talking about his exes and what surprised me the most is that he only mentioned her and nothing else while he gave me little details about the rest of his exes, how they clicked and the reasons behind the breakups. You know what's funny? He brought it up as a "joke" at first but I read so much meaning into it and I realized it wasn't really a joke. You might think it's because I'm an overthinker or probably because I was just hurt but no. I urged him to tell me the truth because there's no way you could say things like this ("she has been popping in my head and got me thinking about a lot of things") about your ex and classify it as a joke just because you didn't want me to feel bad. There's a saying "Tell me the truth even if

ed to realize earlier that he was undeserving and I deserved much better. Putting myself In a sticky situation and asking someone to choose between me and a girl he dated online, who could be a scammer or someth

tive. His birthday passed and I didn't wish him a happy birthday because he was still on my blocklist. A month before the end of the year, I got invited to perform with them at an event held at their church. Back then they were like family to me because I used to attend their services with him so I agreed and I was told he was going to perform too lol. No bad blood but we haven't communicated in awhile so I knew it'd be awkward? First day of rehearsal and they were all late but he came Atlas. I was so nervous and as soon as he entered, there was an intense eye contact which was broken by his "hello", I just nodded my head in reciprocation. Typical him going extra just to impress me and Jayden noticed too. I learnt the steps and we called it a day after praying. He watched as me Jayden and Angel headed home together and I noticed he was trying to hide his disappointment and I didn't really acted like I care. Infact, i acted like a next level nonchalant girl who was blind to everything. After a week, we presented and it went well. I was so happy that I decided to finally talk to him. "Why do you think I blocked you?" I asked him and he pretended he didn't know.....or he actually didn't because he was not so smart and sensitive. I asked him if he wanted me to undo it and he said it was my choice but he'd prefer if we go back to being "okay" I laughed and as I was preparing to go home, his mum headed towards me with a hug! Remember I considered his mom to be a little "scary" because of things I heard, I guess. Homegirl was trying so hard not to run like a scaredy-cat but as soon as I saw his youngest bro, whom I was "in love" with platonically, I relaxed a bit. Mum hugged me and complimented my looks but she didn't forget to make corrections, which I was very okay with. Then she smiled and stormed off with little prince staring at me and smiling too. As soon as I got home, I unblocked him and as soon as he saw my post, he sent a DM. We started chatting and vibing and we were almost becoming as close as we used to be. January was a different month for me because I got asked out again, by him! I don't know if I should call it another mistake or a decision made my someone whose heart just yearned for love and not just any love, to be loved by him. I forced myself to ignore the red flags because his exact words were "I'm not sure if I'm making the right decision but I realized that you have so much love for me and that's everything I need" and not "I thought about this for a long time and realized I still loved you a lot and I know you do too, and that's all that truly matters". The fact that he knew I loved him so much was truly something he should have never known because he took advantage of it greatly! Sometimes I wonder if the second time we came back together was just another time-wasting event or if it was just a show? I didn't feel like it was worth it because after the first week, I started feeling like I made another mistake while he was busy eating back his words. It take two to tango but have you ever been in a relationship or ever been entitled only to find out that you were the only one pouting your heart and time into it? Like the other person was acting forced and sometimes wouldn't even act up at all? Then why on earth did you trigger those emotions if you weren't so sure of your decision? Well, I think it did make it clear that he wasn't so sure about it but I chose to ignore like the fool I was. Remember when I said love made people stupid and was mostly one-sided and I got looked at as if I said something treacherous, so guess what? Now I

ke I was something disgusting to look at. His reply just got me more upset but because I believed at some point that most of his acts were due to him being immature, I decided to drop the case and just let peace reign. We kept communicating and he was being so nice to me but it was nothing that special. I sensed he still liked me but I wasn't going to make another mistake so I always tried to divert our conversations anytime it was heading to that. We weren't friends to me but neither were we lovers, we were just there. I could never deny the fact that I was still into him though but I just preferred my peace at that time. He would flirt and I'd reciprocate and honestly, it was much better than the second time we came back together. We acted like two lovers who couldn't go a day without texting each other but there was no official tag and I wondered if th