The Uttermost Farthing / A Savant's Vendetta

ted man as I knew him, I find it impossible to picture him living amidst the indescribably squalid surroundings of the London Ghetto, the tenant of a sordid little shop in an East En

uirement of Numbers 7, 8 and 9

his murderous hands, also impelled that other villain (Number 6, Anthropological Series) to pursue me to the lonely chalk-pit, where he would have done me to death

the connecti

of Russian and Yiddish. The second link was the failure of my plan to lure the murderer of my wife-and, incidentally, other criminals-to my house. The trap had

ink of no other. Then came the dirty rascal who had tried to murder me in the chalk-pit; and from his mongrel jargon, half cockney, half foreign, I had gathered a vague hint. If I could not entice the criminal population into my domain, how would it be t

ost every public or private notice is in the Hebrew character. Dressed in my shabbiest clothes, I trudged, hour after hour and day after day, through the gray and jo

he industry formerly carried on, and the card-which was written upon in fair and even scholarly Hebrew characters-supplied particulars. I had stopped to read the inscription, faintly amused at the incongruity between the recondite Orient

nue my reading, and, as I was about to turn

going for nothing. No charge for goodwill or fixtur

'dat shop is a leedle goldmin

s beginning smilingly to shake my

h clath bithneth and not a brown to pay for the goodwill

a Whitechapel house was like that led me to follow the two men into the dark and musty-smelling shop. But hardly had my

last man lea

apel of my coat and e

and let 'em come and gamble away their thwag. Thtoopid thing to do, though, mind you, he did a rare good line

ned in the e

pped on him. Thome

ladies, perhap

ways der vimmen. Dese dam vimmen, dey makes all der drabble!' He thumped the table

r. This was lighted by a grating from the back yard, with which it also communicated by a flight of steps and a door. We next examined the yard itsel

be Nathan. I nodded abstractedly and followed him up the stairs, gathering a general impression

we were once more back in the

ities! I was searching for a criminal whom I could identify by his hair. Here was a barber's shop in the heart of a criminal neighborhood and admittedly the late ha

place will sui

th,' he said, 'referentheth will b

d, the accepted tenant (under the pseudonym of Simon Vosper) of Samuel Nathan, with the understanding that I should deliver my advance

omparable taciturnity. I locked up the museum wing and kept the keys. I took a few lessons in haircutting from a West-End barber. I paid my advance rent, sent in

ance; a steep flight of stone steps, unguarded by baluster or handrail. They were very dangerous. But when I had fitted a sort of giant stride by suspending a stout rope from the ceiling, I was able to swing myself down the whole flight in perfect safety. Other preparations consisted

began to be varied by customers rather more in my line; in fact, I h

nd sat down. His movements were silent-almost stealthy; and, when he had seated himself, he picked up a newspaper from behind which I saw him steal furtive and suspi

ded, when the labore

plied, 'but I should say,

He took his place in the vacated chair with a la

took on Pole

olensky was my predecessor) and he conti

and said so, and my

o ever come

o, but I felt that I must not appear too i

that the fellow who was with Joe B

id my friend. 'And

f you don't I'd better say no more.

'm Spotty Bamber, of Spitalfields,

y Mr. Bamber's complexion) and my attention must have wandered somewhat, for my patient su

led the conversati

anted it all for nix. That was why he got peached on-' Here Spotty turned his head with a j

y customer with a view to identification. But I did not tell Mr. Bamber this.

' I made a careful mental note of that fact and determined to study the loca

examined carefully before giving change. Then I brought out of my pocket a handful of assorted coins, including two sovereigns, a quantity of silver and some coppers. I do not ordinarily carry my money mixed up in

rd. Suddenly he thrust his hand into his pocket and said, 'I suppose, mister, you haven't got such a thing as a fi-pun-note wh

id Spotty, as I weighed them

t a moment,' I said; and, as I turned to enter the

mirror that hung above the safe. That mirror reflected the door. It also reflected me, but as the light was on my back my face was in the shadow. Hardly had I opened the safe when, slowly and silently, the door opened a couple of inches and an eye appeared

to think so, to feel that our pleasure was mutual. For as to me, my feelings can only b

or cork

e of perch or

d make an acceptable addition to the group of specimens in the long wall-case, I was more interested in the companion whom I felt confident he would bring with him. The elation of spirit produced by the prospec

result that I was roused up at one in the morning by a meddlesome constable and rebuked sourly for my carelessness. Otherwise, not a soul came to enliven my solitude. Th

and of Goshen. The conversation, mostly in Yiddish-of which I professed total ignorance-kept me pretty well

e door opened softly and a man slipped into the shop.

r and then peered suspiciously round the shop, they all looked at me. For my part, I regarded them with deep interest, especial

ceedings with one eye on m

t a little matter of business. You kn

and now he's doin

the fat with the lean. It ain't all soup. An

r men, stepping up close to me. 'Do you know a

ntest idea what the m

seen one yet

inner pocket, pulled out a handsome gold watch with a massive ch

ook it over and try if the stuff's genu-wine. But not out here, you know. We

d, though three at once was a bigger handful than I sh

r,' I said; and with this I retired to the

the grease on the upper four steps of the cellar stairs. While thus engaged, I turned over my plans quickly but with considerable misgivings. The odds were greater than I ought to have taken. For, as to the intentions of these men, I could have no reasonable doubt. Bamber was known to me and he would not run the risk

e as a matter of principle and not by personal desire. My objection to being killed was merely the abstract objection to the killing of any worthy member of society by these human vermin. But if any such person must needs be killed, I was quite indiff

ith nervous excitement. And no wonder. To a man who values his life above everything on earth, it is a serious matter to walk into the very shadow of the

behind me. I realized that he was the one whom I had to watch, and I watched him; not looking at him, but keeping him on the periphery of my field of vis

table persons of meddling with stol

rty? What d'yer mean, yer bloomin' scalp-scraper!' and he advanced t

instant I had his wrist in that kind of grip that dislocates the elbow-joint, and, as I turned, I planted my foot heavily on Spotty Bamber's chest. The swift movement took them all by surprise. The Jew screamed and dropped his knife, staggering heavily against the cellar door, which swung bac

tle difficulty with his breath. I picked up the concussor and faced them. If I had been quick, I could have dispatched them both without difficulty. But I did not. Once more I was aware of that singular state of consciousness to which I have elsewhere alluded as possessing me in the pr

fist. But at this moment I observed Bamber frantically lugging something from his hip-pocket; something that was certainly not a knife. It was time for a change of tactics. Before t

ste of his pursuit, he actually sprang over the sill on to the slippery top step, and the next moment was bumping down the stairs like an overturned sack of potatoes. As he picked himself up,

that I began to fear that he had made off, and, it being obviously unsafe t

go! Let go my hands or I

ed doorway framed the figure of Spotty Bamber, with

ring to the darkest corner, shuff

heavily in my corner and to utter breathless snorts and exclamations such as, 'Let go, I tell you!' 'Aha! would you?' and

nder him, the revolver clattered on the cellar floor, and Spotty, himself, having

y grip, while I edged him away from the dangerous vicinity of the revolver. At first he was disposed to show a good deal of fight, and, as we gyrated round the cellar, tugging, thrusting, wrenching and kicki

the prostrate form of the third man. He staggered back a few paces and uttered a husky shriek, and then we came down together on top of the Jew. That finished

racing. But, with the first cry for mercy, all my exhilaration died out and the degenerate emotions of civilized man began to make themselves f

ve narrated occupied but a few minutes. When I unbolted the parlor door and found a somnolen

ng,' I said, anxious to learn i

only just come in. Didn't

fastened, surprised me, and illustrated afresh the poverty of the criminal intelligence. They had assumed that it would be all over in a moment and had taken no precautions ag

ogether and the remainder in the form of loose staves and hoops. One of these would have to be made up at once, since it was necessary that the specimens should be packed before rigor mortis set in and rendered them unmanageable. Ac

s with the geometrical center. But in a cask containing a deceased Jew, the center of gravity would be markedly ex-centric. Such a cask would not roll evenly; and irregular rolling might lead to investigation. However, the remedy was quite simple. My predecessor had been accustomed to cover the floor of the shop with sawdust, and the peculiar habits of my customers had led me to continue the practice.

e casks ready for removal. After another good wash, I went to bed, and

reets when all the world was resting. However, I called at my Bloomsbury house and instructed the sergeant-major that some packages might be delivered on th

e a cap indoors-without speaking. He was the most

casks. At first I had thought of taking them to Pickford's receiving office. But there was danger in this, though it was a remote danger. If one of the casks should be accidentally dropped it would certainly burst, and then-I had no particular objection to being killed, but I had a very great objection to bei

find on what trivial peculiarities facial expression depends. For instance, I discovered that a strip of court-plaster, carried tightly up the middle of the forehead-where it would be hidden by a hat-altered the angle of the eyebrows and completely changed the expression, and that a thin scu

greased it with cart-grease, hooked the tackle above the upper end, attached the grips and very soon had the three casks hoisted up into the passage that opened into the back yard. With the aid of the short slide and the tackle, I ran them up into the cart, lashed them firmly in position with the stout rope, threw in the slide and tackle and was ready to start. Running into the s

Theobald's Row at the end of Red Lion Street. Here I began to look about for a likely deputy; and presently my eye lighted on a sturdy-looking man who leaned somewhat dejectedly agains

a job

ou've 'it it, mate. I

to 6A Plimsbury Street

give me?' was the

e you half-a-crow

much am

myself. You deliver the tubs-and be careful of 'em. They're full of valuable chemic

truck,' said he; and when I had surrendered the pole to him, he set off

e was within a few hundred yards of my house. Then I darted down a side turning, took a shor

f spectacles, and scarcely had I assumed these and settled my eyebrows into a studious frown, when the bell rang. A glance into a little mirror that hung on the wall satisfied me as to the

rrils for you,

deep, pompous tones; 'I wil

e my assistant cast off the lashings. In a couple of minutes we had run the casks down the slide and I had the sat

ory, stuck on a fresh strip of plaster, rubbed on a tint of grease-paint and resumed my disreputable garments. When I came forth into the street, the hand-cart had already disapp

per's chisel, locked up the premises and hurried off to Aldgate Station. My first objective was the establishment of Mr. Hammerstein, the dealer in osteology, from whom I purchased three articulated human skeletons, and obtained the invaluable receipte

pt me busy for over a month; during which time I shaved and cut hair throughout the day up to nine o

e three specimens had ringed hair. The completed preparations were, after all, but the by-products of my industry