The Uttermost Farthing / A Savant's Vendetta

e for the lay reader. Now, however, I pass over a number of entries. The capture of Numbers 7, 8 and 9 exhibits the methods to which Challoner, in the main, adhered during his

stirring incidents that it records, the new light that it throws on a hitherto unsolved mystery makes

e acquirement of Numbers 23 and

there were long intervals of sordid labor and dull inaction when I would cut hair-and examine it through my lens-day after day and wonder whether, in electing to live, rather than pass voluntarily into eternal repose, I had, after all, chosen the better part. For in all those years no customer with ringed hair ever ca

mens 23 and 24 and the very remarkable circumstances under which I had the good fortune to acquire them. First, however, I mus

in short, a typical 'old lag.' I recognized the type at a glance; the 'penal servitude face' had become a familiar phenomenon. He spread himself

lensky a wee

u indeed

didn't pull it orf.' ('The farm,' I may explain, is the prison infirmary.) '

mpose on the

a pain in 'is stummik, so the doctor says it must be becos 'is diet was too

smile, I removed the razor to allow him to

lay up on the second floor and me and two or three nippers used to work for 'im-plantin' the snide, yer know. 'E

at this. 'A sliding

client. 'Meantersay you do

positively that I ha

e next 'ouse-Mrs. Jacob 'ad the room next door-and the coppers used to come and sniff round, but of course there wasn't nothin' to see. Regler suck in for them. And it was useful if you was fo

. 'I keep the who

e I learned to be Towler, 'you are a bloo

ons were concluded and I had secured a wisp of Mr. Towler's hair for subsequent exa

ves a pull to the right.' He suited the action to the words, and, with a loud groan, the middle third of the back of the cupboard slid bodi

se. If you was to pull that 'andle to the right, it would slide along

e had 'got a stretch' in connection with a 'job' at Camberwell; and he vanished from my ken. But I did not forget the sliding doors. No special

panel on my own side and then, dragging at the handle, pushed back the second panel. Both moved noisily and would require careful treatment. I passed through the square opening into the vacant room and looked round, but there wa

els backwards and forwards a great number of times I distributed the lubricant and brought the black lead to such a polish that the doors slid with the greatest ease and without a sound. I was so pleased with the result that I was tempted to engage the

able type of criminal. It was not long before the appropriate criminal arrived. The scene of the first appearance was the suburb of Tottenham, where two Russian Poles attempted, and failed in, an idiotic street robbery. The attempt was made in broad daylight in the o

erates belonged to a common enough type; the type of the Slav criminal who has not sense enough to take precautions nor cour

resently turned into a small blind thoroughfare in which had gathered a small and nervous-looking crowd and a few flurried policemen. Several of the windows

cted burglars and three officers had come to the house to make arrests. They had knocked at the door, which, after some delay, was opened. Some person within had immediately shot one of the officers dead and the entire gang of four or five had rushed

a specimen or two of this type, my collection was incomplete. Then there was the evident applicability of my methods to this class of offender; methods of quiet extermination without fuss, public disorder or risk to the precious lives of the police. But beyond these there was another reason for my interest. The murder of my wife had been a pu

ess by-streets and alleys, peering into squalid courts and sending many a doubtful-looking loiterer shuffling hastily round the n

e talk of my customers in Yiddish-a language of which I was supposed to be entirely ignorant. But I learned nothing. Either the fugitives were unknown, or the natural secretiv

red opposite the house next door. There was no need to ask what was doing. The suppressed excitement of the officers and the service revo

ith little bundles of their possessions hastily snatched up, and collected in a miserable group on the pavement. I opened my shop door and invit

he street door with a latch-key. The rest of the policemen took up sheltered positi

don't want it shot off. There's going to be trouble presently.

ews are a patient, submissive people. I boiled some water in my little copper and made some coffee, which they drank gratefull

'how der bolice know dose shentlemens gom t

away. Good job too. Tain't playin' the game for to go pottin' at the coppers like that th

dey might let me bring my dings mit me. Do

, Mrs. Kosmin

hot dey say no; I shall disturb de chentlemens in de front room. Zo I lose my money pecause I sell dem not.' Here the unfortunate woman burst into tears and I was so much affected by her distress that I instantly offered to buy the whole consignm

man yourzelf. Bot it is de boor vot is de vriendts of de boor;' and in her gratitude s

s now quite deserted save for one or two prowling policemen, who, apparently bored with their hiding-places, had come forth to patrol in the open. I did not stay to wa

age there would be! It was frightful to think of. Why does the law permit those cowards' tools to be made and sold? A pistol is the one weapon that has no legitimate use. An axe, a knife-even a rifle, has some lawful function. But a pistol is an ap

cheerfully into the mouth of hell if duty calls. But he knows no tactics. His very courage is almost a disadvantage, leading him to disdain reasonable caution. I felt th

my teeth with irritation. The sacrifice was so unnecessary. I could think, offhand, of half a dozen ways of annihilating these wretches without risking a single hair of any decent person's hea

nly hear the murmur of voices and sounds of movement. But I could not distinguish what was being said; and as this was of some importance, I determined to try the other panel. Grasping the handle, I gave a firm but gradual pull, and felt the panel

nervous about nothing. The police are looking for us, but t

g fool who let us the house may talk more; and who knows but some of our own p

ill leave this place and separate. We shall go away for a time and they

ath warrant. I did not myself realize it fully at the moment. As I closed the slide and stepped back, I was conscious only that a useful train of thought had been started. 'Put some more coke

e room with poisonous gases and probably suffocate these wretches slowly and quietly. But how was it to be brought about? For a moment I thought of climbing to the roof and stopping the chimney from above. But the plan was a bad one. The police might see me and make some regrettable mistake with a revolver. Be

was easily obtainable in East London, I had bought it and fixed it myself. It was perfectly safe in a well-ventilated room, though othe

andles; a box of charcoal stood by the hearth, and in the corner was an extr

tly. I fixed on the extra length of pipe and, with my hand, felt the stream of hot air-or rather hot carbon dioxide gas-pouring out of its mouth. I tried the pipe against the opening and found that it wou

u'll only attract attention if

Here the sound of the opening and shutting of the door put an end to the discussion, save for a torrent of curs

t! The house is emp

a grotesque mixture of weeping and cursing, and I heard them l

l them all! We will shoot those pigs, every

pered one of his comrades. 'They a

hiding in it. Bolt the door and let them come up to us; and we will kill them-ki

aid Piragoff. 'T

hrieked the other.

avy bolt was shot. I quietly closed the slide and ran

h the subdued murmur of the constables' voices was faintly audible. I looked out anxiously, debating whether I ought not to warn the unconscious sentinels even at the risk of de

ther constable came flying round the corner; police whistles began to sound their warning in all directions; and the previous silence gave place to a very Babel of noise. But Piragoff had shot up a side turning before the sergeant arriv

urses they wept and lamented. I had shut the damper of the stove before going down, but the charcoal was still alight, though dull. I now arranged the stove in position, resting the long pipe on the bottom edge of the opening so that its end projected a few inches into the room; moving quite silently and assisted by the hubbub f

ow engaged in barricading the door so that it could be forced open only a few inches, thus exposing the attackers to a deadly fire. I was much obliged to them. Their movements would help t

s yawning like overstrung women. And all the time the invisible stream of heavy, deadly gas was pouring out of the stovepipe and trickling unseen along the floor. Even n

rash on the door that should herald a fresh slaughter; and, as the minutes passed and all remained still, hope rose higher and higher. Sometimes I caught a glimpse of my quarry through the chink of their cupboard door; for I had opened the slide fully a foo

f deadly gas trickled u

growled, 'I am tired. I shall lie down. If I fall asleep,

pace the room; then he sat down on the chair and spread his hands out over the stove, muttering to himself. I watched him as well as I could through the chink of the cupboard doors by the

uld have to surrender these two specimens to the coroner and the gravedigger. A deplorable wa

cry. The ruffian, Boris, looked round, rose, went over to the mattress and stirred the other w

oris! I was dreaming. I thought they had come.' He sat down again on the mattress a

'They will make enough noise opening th

ing deep breaths. 'My God!' he exclaimed. 'I can't breathe lying down. I feel as

ady in his blood; and the loud snoring of the other man indicated plainly the state of the air in the lower part of the room. Presently Boris halted in his walk and sat down by the

ugh to my side. I waited a minute or two listening to the breathing of the two murderers as it grew moment by moment more stertorous and irreg

, I thought about the two men in that deadly room. It was a thousand pities that they should be lost to science. Yet there was no help for it. Even if I had decided to acquire them

the wall, for the paraffin lamp had either burned out or been extinguished by the accumulating gas. I listened attentively. The harsh,

ed on it. I stepped quickly across the room, breathing as little as possible of the unspeakably foul air, and struck a wax match. It burned dimly and smokily, but showed me the two murderers, lying in easy postures, their faces livid and ghastly in hue but pea

but failed to elicit any responsive movement. They were quite limp and inert and I had no doubt that they were dead. My work was done. The policemen were now safe, whatever fol

-and deciding as a measure of prudence to give it the appearance of having been slept in, took off my boots and crept in between the sheets. But I was not in the least degree drowsy. Quite the contrary. I was all agog to see

drawer in which the clean ones were kept. It was the bottom drawer of a cheap pine chest that I had bought in Whitechapel High Street. That chest of drawers was of unusual size; it was

and trunk is under thirty-six inches. Allowing a few inches more for his feet and ankles, a cavity forty-eight inches long is amply sufficient for his acc

sured tread of feet mingling with the clatter of horses' hoofs and a heavy, metallic rumbling. I looked out cautiously in the direction whence the sounds came and was positively stupefied with amazement. At the end of the street I saw, by the light of the lamps, a company of soldiers appearing round the corner and taking up a position across the road. I watched breathlessly. Soon, at a sign from the officer, the

; for surely these portentous preparations indicated some masterpiece of strategy. What an anticlimax it would be whe

I had obtained them sometimes kept me waiting nearly a week before supplying them-for I was only a small customer; and that would never do even at this time of year. Besides, the police would make a rigid search; not that that would have mattered if I could have made proper arrangements for the concealment and removal of the specimens. But unfortuna

ld enough; but when the two bottom drawers joined in the synthetic process, a complete and consistent scheme began to appear. A flush of pleasurable excitement swept over me, and as I raced upstairs fresh details added themselves and fresh difficulties were propounded and di

e the fireworks, the masks and other appliances for commemorating the never-to-be-forgotten 'Gunpowder treason,' and a couple of large balls of a dark-colored cord sometimes used by costers for securing their loads. That gave me an idea, too, as did the frowsily-smart female garments. I appropriated four of the largest masks and a quantity of oakum for wigs; some colored-paper streamers and hat-frills; two huge and disreputable dresses-Mrs. Kosminsky's own, I suspected-the skirts of which I crammed

rried down to the back yard, where already was a quantity of lumber belonging to a neighboring green grocer. Returning upstairs, I called in at the bedroom to transfer the scanty contents of the two l

not shot the bolt. Now I could distinctly hear someone fumbling gently at the keyhole, apparently with a picklock. It was most infuriating. At the very last moment, when success was wi

I shut myself in my own cupboard, to exclude the dim light, and closing the panel to within an inch, waited on events with my hand on

he door creaked softly. There was

ep! Keep them covered, Smit

e a choking cough and then a brassy voice fairly shou

ffort it had cost the worthy off

my eye, sir; what a sell! Think of all those Tommies and that machine gun. Ha! ha! Oh! Lord! I suppose the begga

ir ticket. Can't you smell it? And, by Jove, it will give us our ticket if we don

ere, sir, while you're g

want three stretchers if you do. Com

y possible that they should be so devoid of caution. And yet, why not? T

ion. I had given the specimens up for lo

lf, shut the cupboard doors, closed both panels carefully, shut up my own cupboard and carried the specimens down to my bedroom. With their knees drawn up, they packed quite easily in the large drawers. I shut them in, loc

g some bundles of stakes and several hampers filled with straw. With these materials, and those that I had borrowed from Mrs. Kosminsky, I began rapidly to build up a pair of life-sized guys-one male and one female. I put them together very roughly and sat

uch speed that I had huddled them into a pretty plausible completeness when the inevitable peal at the house bell disturbed my labors. I darted into the parlor, crammed

en,' I said suavely. 'H

ials used such language. In effect, they wished to look over the premises. Of course I gave instant p

ly depressed. They conversed in low tones as they stumped up the sta

a cat sick. But what beats me is how those devils could have stuck

down from that window without being spotted. I wouldn't have believed

This house has no connection with the next one. That projecting wing cuts it off. This back yard opens into Bell's Alley; the yard next door opens into Kosher Court. That's the way th

he asked gruffly, poi

one of Piper's men is gettin

ry inspection of the rooms, glancing in at my bedroom, and then went down to the ground floor. From thence the two officers descended to the cellar, which they examined

ve often thought I'd like to-and, by Jimini! I will!' He squared up fiercely at the helpless-looking e

to the attack with such ferocity that in a few seconds he had reduced, not only th

poor devil the trouble of building them up all over again. Come alo

heard nothing in

the shop until the evening, and I shall probably

he key. I've seen all I want to see. Good morning,

refused the key, though I had thought it prudent to make the of

as not difficult. Tying up the heads in large pieces of rag, I fastened the big masks to the fronts of the globular bundles and covered in the remainder with masses of oakum to form appropriate wigs. Each figure was then clothed in the bulky garments borrowed from Mrs. Kosminsky's stock and well stuffed with straw, portions of which I allowed to protrude at all the apertures. A s

guys, which I decided to put away in the drawers, I returned for the second effigy. I lashed the two figures very securely to t

on my cheek a large cross of sticking-plaster-which pulled down my eyebrow and pulled up the corner of my mouth-begrimed my face, reddened my nose, and carefully tin

hind me. At the moment there was not a soul in sight, but from the street close by came the unmistakable mur

acked throng appeared ahead. Faces turned towards me and broke into grins; the murmur rose into a dull roar, and, as

member the Fif

der Treaso

even the machine gun was yet in position. Suddenly the inspector and the sergeant appeared b

constable pounced on me with a broad grin, snatched the barrow-handles out of my han

nning constable; and the 'bhoys'

man attempt to pick a pocket under the officer's very nose. The pickpocket caught my eye and moved off quickly. I pulled up, and, pointing at the thief, bawled out, 'Stop that man! Stop him!' The pickpocket flung himself into the crowd and made off

had yet to run before it would be safe for me to approach my destination. The prospect of tramping the streets for some ten or twelve hours with this very conspicuous appendage was far from agreeable, to say nothing of the increasing risk of detection, and I looked forward to it with gloomy forebodings. If a suspicion arose, I cou

rapidly to thicken into a definite fog. I set down the barrow and watched with thankfulness the mass of opaque yellow vapor filling the s

all that trouble, too.' (He little knew how much.) 'But it's no go. You'd b

the guys, covered them with the tarpaulin and, urged by a new anxiety from the rapidly-growing density of the fog, groped my way into Norton F

e world of visible objects was extinguished and replaced by a chaos of confused sounds. Even the end of my barrow fa

-southwest, and with the compass before me, I could not go far wrong. Indeed, its guidance was invaluable; without it I could never have found my way through those miles of intricate streets. When a stationary wagon or other obstruction sent me out into the road, it enabled

y eye on the compass and my wheel at the curb, I pushed on through the yellow void until a shadowy post at a stree

he barrow and crossed the pavement-with the compass in my hand, lest I should not be able to find the barrow again. I came against the jamb of a street door, I groped across to

into the hall, where I laid it on the floor, returning immediately for the other. When both the specimens were safely deposited, I came out, softly closing the door after me with the key, and once more took up the barrow-handles. Slowly I trundled the invaluable little vehi

mine their hair. I had really some hopes that one of them might be the man I sought. But, alas! It w

y's effacing fingers' should obliterate the details of the integumentary structures. In the evening I returned to Whitechapel and opened the shop, pro

f having stolen it but was discharged for want of evidence. I compensated the green grocer for the trouble occasioned by my carelessness

over to the curtained window and carefully inspected its lining; and suddenly I perceived, clinging to the coarse cloth, a single short hair, which, even to the naked eye, had a distinctly unusual appearance. With a trembling hand, I drew out my lens to examine it more closely; and, as it came into the magnified field, my heart seemed to stand still. For, even at that low magnification, its character was unmistakable-it looked like a tiny string

whom I sought was a burglar, a ruthless murderer, and had ringed hair. Then Piragoff was my man. It was bad logic, but

up in my breast once more. My interest in the new specimens almost died out. I wanted Piragoff; and it was only t