Bones in London
arge man, who dwelt at the
e hours of 6 p.m. and 2 a.m. he had earned the name of "good fellow,"
items in their balance sheets as "Sundry Debtors, £107,402 12_s_. 7_d_." People feel, on reading such airy lines, t
ts, on an occasion, stepped in and robbed him of £17,500, Mr. de Vinne's family doctor was hastily summoned (figuratively spea
a, went off to Brighton to recuperate, and to get the whizzy noises out of his head. To him arrived on a morning a special courier in the shape o
and he was arrayed in the costume which restaurateurs insist is the everyday k
ria leaves you that way-and dazzled by th
-in-the world dressed like a so-and-so?" (You can be very rude in Ara
bbetti. Embellishments of oriferous metal give wealthiness of appe
tive gathering of the juvenile research committee waited patiently for the reapp
it. It was, of course, from Bones, a
oing out going out of the bisiness Sindicate trying to buy so I niped in for 105,000 pounds got lock stock and barrill baril. Sindicat
a boot-shop-even a collection of boot-shops-and he was consci
groaning, he thought, an
ton go hot and moisty. He had gone home one evening, leaving Bones dictating a leading article which was a violent attack on the Government of the day, and had come in the following
... and £1
£15,000 profit on the turn-over. And at the identical moment that Hamilton was buying his ticket for London, Bones was solemnly shaking hands with the Secretary of the Phit-Phine Shoe Syndicate (Mr. de Vinne having violently, even apoplectic
mation that Mr. John Siker, the well-known private detective, had died at his residence at Clapham Park. Bones read the item
que-book, the counterfoils of which were only occasionally filled in, heard the staccato "Swindle! ... Swi
. debenture stock moved him to sardonic laughter. The certificates of eminent chartered accountants brought a meaning little s
nes threw do
ce, knocked upon it, and disappeared into the sanctum of the lady whom Bones nev
ausing deferentially at
nto a pitiful condition of incoherence. But this morning it had only the effect o
Tibbetts?" she asked
"Just a fit of the jolly old staggers. The fact is, I've been keeping late hours-in fact, dear you
cked-"I'm awfully sorry! You really
t and astounded Bones
et
abounded in such rhymes as "Marguerite," "Dainty feet," "Swe
odical embarrassments of Bones, but had acquired the knack
er from Mr. de
his nose an
, for Mr. de Vinne was very angry with Bones, who, as he h
ce letter," sug
young head-turner,
ence as a merchant of the City of London, in all of which, said the writer, he ha
t the Kingsway Restaurant, and that you occupied a table immediately behind me. I can only suppose that you overheard a perfectly confide
mured Bones. "Awfully bad for your jolly young
ntention of taking vengeance for the "dishon
Mr. de Vinne affected him not at all. The possible dis
," said the girl. "Do y
courage. "Of course I want you to answer it, my dea
room with a t
thing,"
say 'Dear old thing
," said Bones. "Start it like
d and then wrote
ty temper,'" dictated Bones, and
ce of his to sp
d I simply refuse to have anything more to do with you. You
ither in replying to your letter of to-day's date, or re-openi
t when, just after the girl had said "Good night," and Bones himself was yawning over an
deep mourning, eventually appeared through the d
e come rather l
d Bones. "Come and sit down, black one. De
bout twenty-four, and he had the appearance
atter," he said, "but your name was on
e was always prepared for a m
Siker," said
es, dimly conscious of the fact that h
s death. It was in this morning's newspaper
wed up his
. "Now, let me think. Why, of c
young man's
aid. "John Siker was my f
s wa
"at least, it has been represented to me-that you are o
Bones; "that show me
one of the best lists of clients in the kingdom, and almost every big business man in the City is on our list. With
ning. The amazing possibilities of such an
old thing. Deeply sorry and all that sort of thing, but it can't be done. It's not my line of business at all-not," he added, "that I don'
I thought that three years' purchase woul
nd pounds,"
you will find that what I have said is true-that my father took two thousand a year out of his business for years. It's possible to make it four thousand. And a
nce?" said Bones. "Why chuck away two
ker, after a moment's hesitation. "And, besides, I can't be bot
across the table. "I'll sleep on this. Give me your address and the add
occupied. When Hamilton saluted him with a cheery "Good morning," Bones returned a grave and non-committal nod. Hamilton w
re you looking at
," was the sur
ugh the kneehole of the desk and looked at
ssness," said Bones ter
am this
from Twickenham. That
ntly. "I though
rs widely-that is to say, is remarkably different. For instance, the mud of Twickenham is different from the mud of Balham. There's what you might call a subtle difference, dear
on. "Have you bought a mu
said
ation seems familiar
your argument,
ckenham. It is evident that on your way to the station you stopped to buy a newspaper, that something
now that?" as
the table," said Bones
n; "I bought it just befor
won't deceive you, dear old
his pen and leaned
s Sik
ncy," began Bones, "is
led Hamilton. "You were
s sm
r old person," he said.
ng eye met his, a
cross and lighting a cigarette. "That's a type of business there isn't any big demand for. And how
been looking for such a business. The management was capable of carry
found a cunning solut
in the name of 'Mr. Senob,' and I'll bet you w
Hamilton patiently. "You tried that
disappointed
nvincing. Yet Hamilton was not altogether convinced. He w
going to leave it entir
oulders at the absurdit
doubled if a man with
n of mode
oting noise, deris
at the conclusion of h
ntly. "I don't think, dear old officer, you quite re
ly investigate. That's done by the real police. Detective agencies
ther a pretty little bit of work." He took a slip of paper from his pocket. "You dined at the Criterion at half-past
's face
t at ten past nine, and
right
" exploded Hamilton, "th
s no
No. 297431-and you were an awful long time before you got out when you reached the lady's destination-an awful long time," sa
n awfully. "I think y
hing, I did really," said Bones, shaking his he
fice of his beautiful secretary, leaving a very red
resting to the psychologist, wearing the darkest of his dark suits and a large black wideawake hat. There was a certain furtiveness in his movements betwe
n Bones presented his card. He was immediately conducted by Mr. Hilton to a very plain inner offi
-faced man of fifty-fi
nd deliberate, his eyes
I presume I am welcoming to this establishment the new proprietor who has taken t
and listened as to a
r four generations," he said with a relish of an antiquarian. "George Siker first started work as an investigator in 1814 in this identical building. For thi
well, we can't live for ever, dear old chief of staff. N
he dingy apartment
as he had anticipated, veiled ladies or cloaked dukes, nor did
an in a top hat, who complained bitterly that old man Siker had practically an
ne-sided c
'Borker, my boy, you've only to offer me a reasonable figure' ... I say
d in the blackest colours the difficulties and tragedies of private investigation, yet seemed willing e
andcuffs, which were festooned upon the wall behind his desk and secured secretly-since he did not think that the melancholy Mr. Hilton w
a sceptical Hamilton some
rd evening. "A naughty old lady has been flirting with a very, very naught
said Hamilt
ent," said Bones n
ousness, "do you think this is a very nice busine
mmoral?" demanded t
er people's live
on of jolly old motives is essential to scientific progress. I feel I am doing a public duty,"
you think it's the game to chase around collectin
. Never let it be written on the fair pages of Thiggumy that a Tibbetts shrank
," said
uckles on the table and withdrew them with an "Ouch!" to suck away the pain-"let me tell you that, as
e next morning, full of zeal, and Hilton i
with satisfaction. "It has been very hard trailing him,
is hand a sh
cellent! I hope we shall bri
murred Hilton. "It is a job we were
e done it, I'm sure." He leant back in his chair and h
of a fool in some
man-the
low we've be
" said Bon
that Mr. de Vinne b
sitting up. "Harold de
e of our oldest cust
, this time without
on, "swindled him, and all that sort of thing. Well, I
ones politely. "W
lton, "that this chap is ma
hap?" sa
ient Mr. Hilton. "He used to be an officer on the West Coast
," said
got a flat in Jermyn Street, and this girl of his, this typis
, and there was in his
adowing a perfectly innocent man and a charming, love
pardonably
men and typewriters? Shame upon you, Hilton!" His voice shook. "Give me that report!" He thrust the report into the fire.
carcely stopped to spell. His letter was addressed to Mr. de Vinne, and when, on the following day, Mr. B