Bones in London
s wife, a placid and trusting woman, responded to either name, having implicit faith in the many explanations which her hu
fe one Isadore Ruhl, and everybody knew that the maker of Morgan's Superfatted Soap-"t
Limited, and there were odd moments of the day when Mrs. Staleyborn felt vaguely uneasy about her child's future. She had often, indeed, shed
ginal every time they are applied, and one of these sayings was "Everything is for the best." She believed in miracles, and
nown by many names. He was called "Cress," and "Ike," and "Tubby,
al, were certainly picturesque. One of these companions was a Mr. Webber, who had worked more swindles with Morris than had an
ally seen. It may be said, too, that his colouring was various. As he addressed Mr. Morris, it varied between purple and blue. Mrs. Morris was in the habit of add
leaded Mr. Morris. "
ur in the best of
k Morning Glory in the three o'clock race. You go down to Newbury with my money, and you come
he money back," r
note in the parcel. No, Ike, you double-crossed me. You backed the horse and took the winnin
d a pained face
a pal put it across another pal like that? After the work we've done all these y
ook place in the private bar of "The Bread and Cheese," Camden Town-but presently he turned from the reproachful into the melancholy sta
pped in the bud a very promising order for five hundred thousand sweepstake tickets, which were bei
, is a painful question which need not be too closely examined. It is certain that Seepidge was in a bad way, and as Mr. Morris told himself with
be done," said Mr. C
the taciturn Webber. "
trouble. The business is practically in pawn; I'm getting a police inspection once a week. I've got a job now which may save my bacon, if I ca
ey for asking," said Webb
mmediately, for they had reached closing-time,
my club," said
r every raid that had been made upon it, and the fact that the people arrested had described themselves
sked Seepidge, when they wer
called Bones--"
s, in disgust. "Good Heavens! Yo
re if you hadn't been s
ng in money. He's just
can't cost him less t
this?" asked the
nt, "I've been working solo on him, and I tho
d Morris, shaking his head. "I di
what I know to make money. If I'd known that, I shouldn't have told you two chaps anything about it. But I've got an idea that this chap Bones is a bit sensitive on a certain matter, and Cully Tring, who's forgotten more about human men than I ever kn
e impressively, "let us
ng printer was apt to overlook the b
nificence, with lofty rooms and distempered walls and marble chimney-pieces, for all the world like those rooms in the ca
he said, describing
ght to see the jo
ed Hamilton innocently. "You've on
morous," said Bones severely. "Do
u want a new flat? Your old flat was quite a palatial es
and then the other, lifting his eyebrows almost to the roof of his head
rn conveniences, in the most fashionable part of the West End, and all that sort of thing, without exciting the voice of scandal, de
e scheme?" pers
fficer," said Bones, hurriedly, a
cier. People who wanted other people to put money into things invariably left Bones to the last, because they liked trying the hard things first. The inventor and patente
where around. You'll find it in the telephone book. He's got more money than
e very thing that Bo
tain to come next year, drafted through their secretaries the most wonderful letters, offering Bones a seat on their board, or e
her commercial supremacy is threatened, it behoves us all to increase producti
would have moved Bones to amazing extravagance, but hap
oughtfully, and then read again before he reached to the telephone and called a number. In the City of London there was a business-like agency which
ceiver at his ear, a far-away look
nd is now insolvent. His firm has been visited by the police for illegal printing severa
s. "Thank you, dear ol
he busine
y from it," said the humorous repl
monocle, "suppose, my jolly old accountant and partner, you were offered a business which was worth"-he paused-"
ut you have rather a loud-speaking telephone
a very good line. And suppose you were offered this printin
example, if I were in the gorgeous drawing-room of your wonderful
and wagged
. "Are the most tender emotions, dear old thing, wh
, "and let's hear about this
was some time before he could bring him
ed you his perfectly beastly business for f
e police," s
or the first time. "I never have sent for the police you
Hamilton, and then in surprise: "Why the d
stions?" repeated Bones. "Beca
sed incredul
the Americans
lton, puzzled. "Oh,
the same," said Bones a
ctly is y
re's a swindle-there's a ramp. Nobody imagines for one moment that a man of my reputation could be taken in by a bare
e supposed to be the luckiest devil
d. "It is a detestable street, a naughty old street, and I
" asked Hamilt
hat later," said Bones
o together, you know the
uggested
nce to the outer office, knocking, as was his wont, until his stenographer gave him pe
m the letter she was writing, and gav
ar young typewriter
like in the office. Really," she said, with a laugh, "really,
of keyboards," said Bones, seating himself
in, but he was strangely
last a little huskily, "the j
hem?" she asked eagerly
w me, p
hook hi
them," he said. "In fact
ppointed, an
me for a week I
murmured Bones disparaging
she said,
ubbish and all th
e said. "You wouldn't talk about
use a Roman expression, I'm not so sure you're not right. One of these day
about?" she asked for a
or like any other old fellow, like Shakespeare, if you like-to go from the sublime to the ridiculous-has fits of poetising that mean absolutely nothing. It doesn't f
he said, a
us, a fuss, a tram, a lamb, a hat, a cat, a sunset, a little flower growing on the river's brim, an
ield is universal, and I quite understand that if he wr
aid Bones truculently.
a fat lot you know ab
n I write a poe
about girls," said
me so pointedly that his confusion
't mean anything,
ear old miss," he said, jingling with the letters "a" and "e" as though he had originally put out his hand to touch the keyboard, and w
hurriedly. "Shall I answer it?" And bef
ny times before, but his heart had failed him. But he was growing reckless now. She should see them-priceless verses, written in a mos
te, thou lo
thee most
f grey and
with every
ingers beaut
d fragrant i
iting to himself, but
ed him, and when he pas
he eminent brain speci
ppoi
sewood door of his flat,
ng only less picturesque than the opening of Parliament. This intention may not have been unconnected with the fact that the
and silver, the upper half was Oxford shirt and br
n you a good uniform, you blithering jackass? What the deuce do you mean by op
brication for evening repas
ked on to
hangings were of silk, and the suite was also of silk, and also of blue silk. He sat down at his Louis X
high! Its pretty song came down, down to me, and it sounded like your voice the other af
ainly not at night. The proprieties had to be observed, and he changed the last few
nd possibly the greatest, might go. He pulled the drawer open. It was empty. There was no mistaking the fa
d shirt and braces imperfectly hidden un
in Coast Arabic-"in this drawer was a beauti
no
I speak your praises whenever I go into the café,
mean by telling people about me-eh, you scoundrel? Wh
tic speechification creates
him in wonder. There was, too, about Ali Mahomet a queer look of
to unauthorised persons, sojourning in high-class café 'King's Arms,' for my evening refreshment. Also desiring to create p
s ga
my things printed? Oh
no means
r the master's surprise and joyousness. I myself will
t, after all. Sooner or later those poems of his must be offered to the appreciation of a larger audien
it, you silly old
or proffered advice, himself being eng
ught came into
his name?"
ousers pocket and produced a soiled card, whi
SEEPIDGE
s to th
the padded depths o
he said hollowly, and t
ed to pick up the card. It was a target which, in Bones's the
*
ted-a bulky envelope bearing on the flap the sign-manual of Messrs. Seepidge & Soomes. The letter which
d orders, one of which is for a very charming series of poems which ar
e love poems. They declared Bones's passion in language which was unmistakable. They told of her hair which was beyond compare, of her eyes which rivalled the skies, and of her lips like scarlet strips. Bones bowed his h
ll, Mr. Tibbet
ntly. "Very tra-la-la, dear old th
orresponde
and Bones hastily thr
with its enclosur
old thing about a patent medicine I have just taken I am not all I was a few years
a full-stop. He said it so wil
le later, and to him Bo
poems," said Ha
laugh?" s
d to be comic," said Hamilton. And, to do him justice, he did not
xpression that Bones had courage
ling, but I can't say that I'm fearfully keen on Kipling, old th
a gem," said Hamilton,
abominably, writing p
e going to make this gi
nd
t the dickens do you mean, old thing? I told you
he saw Bones's colour rising, "they needn't be comic to excite people's amusement. The most solemn and sac
ll heart outpourings you understand-but no, you wouldn't understand, my old crochety one. One of these days, as I've remarked before, they wil
I should imagine," said
going to do ab
ratched
d if I know
at you must do?" ask
se old counsellor," sa
by all mea
s Whitland and tell
s face
ever forgive me, dear old thing! Suppose she walked out of the office in a
rmly. "It's only fair to the girl to
rapid solutions, none of which were a
ort of things that a silly ass of a man does, and that they were not intended to be of
begged Bones. "Poems are like pictures, old frie
ain. He stopped once or twice to ask such pointed questions as how many "y's
e asked anxiously at last. "Y
in truth, "is not the
chee
llow is naturally shy about maiden efforts, and all that sort of thi
ilton, mechanically turni
could happen. Let 'em print 'em! Hey? What do you say? Put that one about young Miss Marguerite being
d Hamilton, "and yo
toleration, and there the
f his enemy's fault. By the afternoon he was cheerful, even jocose, and, even in such moments as he found himself alone with
he girl on one such occasion, "that I think there
"What is wanted is-well, I know, dear old miss. It may surprise you
e about you, Mr. Tib
ell, had already departed, and Bones, who had given the matter very considerable thought, decided that this
coat. But she sat before her desk, a frown on her pretty face and an evening newspaper in
r old miss?" he asked
d up with
riend of my step-father's has got into trouble again,
sympathetic Bones. "How
dear old
e police have found that he is printing something illegal. I don't quite understa
c," murmured the palpitating B
ge pretended that he was carrying out a legiti
said Bones
aid the gir
s printing a volume of verse. The court had heard extracts from that precious volume, which had evidently been written by Mr. Seepidge's office-boy. He had never read such appalling drivel in his lif
looked up
to-day, isn't it?" she asked. "Now, Mr. Tibbetts, I'm going
ushed of face,
ther time ... another time ... poetry shou
e asked, folding he
ges," said Bon