Bones in London

s wife, a placid and trusting woman, responded to either name, having implicit faith in the many explanations which her hu

fe one Isadore Ruhl, and everybody knew that the maker of Morgan's Superfatted Soap-"t

Limited, and there were odd moments of the day when Mrs. Staleyborn felt vaguely uneasy about her child's future. She had often, indeed, shed

ginal every time they are applied, and one of these sayings was "Everything is for the best." She believed in miracles, and

nown by many names. He was called "Cress," and "Ike," and "Tubby,

al, were certainly picturesque. One of these companions was a Mr. Webber, who had worked more swindles with Morris than had an

ally seen. It may be said, too, that his colouring was various. As he addressed Mr. Morris, it varied between purple and blue. Mrs. Morris was in the habit of add

leaded Mr. Morris. "

ur in the best of

k Morning Glory in the three o'clock race. You go down to Newbury with my money, and you come

he money back," r

note in the parcel. No, Ike, you double-crossed me. You backed the horse and took the winnin

d a pained face

a pal put it across another pal like that? After the work we've done all these y

ook place in the private bar of "The Bread and Cheese," Camden Town-but presently he turned from the reproachful into the melancholy sta

pped in the bud a very promising order for five hundred thousand sweepstake tickets, which were bei

, is a painful question which need not be too closely examined. It is certain that Seepidge was in a bad way, and as Mr. Morris told himself with

be done," said Mr. C

the taciturn Webber. "

trouble. The business is practically in pawn; I'm getting a police inspection once a week. I've got a job now which may save my bacon, if I ca

ey for asking," said Webb

mmediately, for they had reached closing-time,

my club," said

r every raid that had been made upon it, and the fact that the people arrested had described themselves

sked Seepidge, when they wer

called Bones--"

s, in disgust. "Good Heavens! Yo

re if you hadn't been s

ng in money. He's just

can't cost him less t

this?" asked the

nt, "I've been working solo on him, and I tho

d Morris, shaking his head. "I di

what I know to make money. If I'd known that, I shouldn't have told you two chaps anything about it. But I've got an idea that this chap Bones is a bit sensitive on a certain matter, and Cully Tring, who's forgotten more about human men than I ever kn

e impressively, "let us

ng printer was apt to overlook the b

nificence, with lofty rooms and distempered walls and marble chimney-pieces, for all the world like those rooms in the ca

he said, describing

ght to see the jo

ed Hamilton innocently. "You've on

morous," said Bones severely. "Do

u want a new flat? Your old flat was quite a palatial es

and then the other, lifting his eyebrows almost to the roof of his head

rn conveniences, in the most fashionable part of the West End, and all that sort of thing, without exciting the voice of scandal, de

e scheme?" pers

fficer," said Bones, hurriedly, a

cier. People who wanted other people to put money into things invariably left Bones to the last, because they liked trying the hard things first. The inventor and patente

where around. You'll find it in the telephone book. He's got more money than

e very thing that Bo

tain to come next year, drafted through their secretaries the most wonderful letters, offering Bones a seat on their board, or e

n her commercial supremacy is threatened, it behoves us all to increase produc

would have moved Bones to amazing extravagance, but hap

oughtfully, and then read again before he reached to the telephone and called a number. In the City of London there was a business-like agency which

ceiver at his ear, a far-away look

nd is now insolvent. His firm has been visited by the police for illegal printing severa

s. "Thank you, dear ol

he busine

y from it," said the humorous repl

monocle, "suppose, my jolly old accountant and partner, you were offered a business which was worth"-he paused-"

ut you have rather a loud-speaking telephone

a very good line. And suppose you were offered this printin

example, if I were in the gorgeous drawing-room of your wonderful

and wagged

. "Are the most tender emotions, dear old thing, wh

, "and let's hear about this

was some time before he could bring him

ed you his perfectly beastly business for f

e police," s

or the first time. "I never have sent for the police you

Hamilton, and then in surprise: "Why the d

stions?" repeated Bones. "Beca

sed incredul

the Americans

lton, puzzled. "Oh,

the same," said Bones a

ctly is y

re's a swindle-there's a ramp. Nobody imagines for one moment that a man of my reputation could be taken in by a bare

e supposed to be the luckiest devil

d. "It is a detestable street, a naughty old street, and I

" asked Hamilt

hat later," said Bones

o together, you know the

uggested

nce to the outer office, knocking, as was his wont, until his stenographer gave him pe

m the letter she was writing, and gav

ar young typewriter

like in the office. Really," she said, with a laugh, "really,

of keyboards," said Bones, seating himself

in, but he was strangely

last a little huskily, "the j

hem?" she asked eagerly

w me, p

hook hi

them," he said. "In fact

ppointed, an

me for a week I

murmured Bones disparaging

she said,

ubbish and all th

e said. "You wouldn't talk about

use a Roman expression, I'm not so sure you're not right. One of these day

about?" she asked for a

or like any other old fellow, like Shakespeare, if you like-to go from the sublime to the ridiculous-has fits of poetising that mean absolutely nothing. It doesn't

he said, a

us, a fuss, a tram, a lamb, a hat, a cat, a sunset, a little flower growing on the river's brim, an

ield is universal, and I quite understand that if he wr

aid Bones truculently.

a fat lot you know ab

n I write a poe

about girls," said

me so pointedly that his confusion

't mean anything,

ear old miss," he said, jingling with the letters "a" and "e" as though he had originally put out his hand to touch the keyboard, and w

hurriedly. "Shall I answer it?" And bef

ny times before, but his heart had failed him. But he was growing reckless now. She should see them-priceless verses, written in a mos

te, thou lo

thee most

f grey and

with every

ingers beaut

d fragrant i

iting to himself, but

ed him, and when he pas

he eminent brain speci

ppoi

sewood door of his flat,

ng only less picturesque than the opening of Parliament. This intention may not have been unconnected with the fact that the

and silver, the upper half was Oxford shirt and br

n you a good uniform, you blithering jackass? What the deuce do you mean by op

brication for evening repas

ked on to

hangings were of silk, and the suite was also of silk, and also of blue silk. He sat down at his Louis X

high! Its pretty song came down, down to me, and it sounded like your voice the other af

ainly not at night. The proprieties had to be observed, and he changed the last few

nd possibly the greatest, might go. He pulled the drawer open. It was empty. There was no mistaking the fa

d shirt and braces imperfectly hidden un

in Coast Arabic-"in this drawer was a beauti

no

I speak your praises whenever I go into the café,

mean by telling people about me-eh, you scoundrel? Wh

tic speechification creates

him in wonder. There was, too, about Ali Mahomet a queer look of

to unauthorised persons, sojourning in high-class café 'King's Arms,' for my evening refreshment. Also desiring to create p

s ga

et my things printed

no means

r the master's surprise and joyousness. I myself will

t, after all. Sooner or later those poems of his must be offered to the appreciation of a larger audien

it, you silly old

or proffered advice, himself being eng

ught came into

his name?"

ousers pocket and produced a soiled card, whi

SEEPIDGE

s to th

the padded depths o

he said hollowly, and t

ed to pick up the card. It was a target which, in Bones's the

*

ted-a bulky envelope bearing on the flap the sign-manual of Messrs. Seepidge & Soomes. The letter which

d orders, one of which is for a very charming series of poems which ar

e love poems. They declared Bones's passion in language which was unmistakable. They told of her hair which was beyond compare, of her eyes which rivalled the skies, and of her lips like scarlet strips. Bones bowed his h

ll, Mr. Tibbet

ntly. "Very tra-la-la, dear old th

orresponde

and Bones hastily thr

with its enclosur

old thing about a patent medicine I have just taken I am not all I was a few years

a full-stop. He said it so wil

le later, and to him Bo

poems," said Ha

laugh?" s

d to be comic," said Hamilton. And, to do him justice, he did not

xpression that Bones had courage

ling, but I can't say that I'm fearfully keen on Kipling, old th

a gem," said Hamilton,

abominably, writing p

e going to make this gi

nd

t the dickens do you mean, old thing? I told you

he saw Bones's colour rising, "they needn't be comic to excite people's amusement. The most solemn and sac

ll heart outpourings you understand-but no, you wouldn't understand, my old crochety one. One of these days, as I've remarked before, they wil

I should imagine," said

going to do ab

ratched

d if I know

at you must do?" ask

se old counsellor," sa

by all mea

s Whitland and tell

s face

ever forgive me, dear old thing! Suppose she walked out of the office in a

rmly. "It's only fair to the girl to

rapid solutions, none of which were a

ort of things that a silly ass of a man does, and that they were not intended to be of

begged Bones. "Poems are like pictures, old frie

ain. He stopped once or twice to ask such pointed questions as how many "y's

e asked anxiously at last. "Y

in truth, "is not the

chee

llow is naturally shy about maiden efforts, and all that sort of thi

ilton, mechanically turni

could happen. Let 'em print 'em! Hey? What do you say? Put that one about young Miss Marguerite being

d Hamilton, "and yo

toleration, and there the

f his enemy's fault. By the afternoon he was cheerful, even jocose, and, even in such moments as he found himself alone with

he girl on one such occasion, "that I think there

"What is wanted is-well, I know, dear old miss. It may surprise you

e about you, Mr. Tib

ell, had already departed, and Bones, who had given the matter very considerable thought, decided that this

coat. But she sat before her desk, a frown on her pretty face and an evening newspaper in

r old miss?" he asked

d up with

riend of my step-father's has got into trouble again,

sympathetic Bones. "How

dear old

e police have found that he is printing something illegal. I don't quite understa

c," murmured the palpitating B

ge pretended that he was carrying out a legiti

said Bones

aid the gir

s printing a volume of verse. The court had heard extracts from that precious volume, which had evidently been written by Mr. Seepidge's office-boy. He had never read such appalling drivel in his lif

looked up

to-day, isn't it?" she asked. "Now, Mr. Tibbetts, I'm going

ushed of face,

another time … another time … poetry sh

e asked, folding he

ges," said Bon