The forbidden billionaire

Aedlin

For ten years I have worked for him, making his appointments and taking his calls, answering most of his emails and forwarding those that I can't. I even pick up his daughter from school every day in my lunch, though he believes that his wife is doing it. He also thinks it is his wife cooking for them on the days that he comes home late, but it has always been me. For ten years I have been working my ass off, keeping his wife's secrets, not that any of them are all that horrible to keep. You see, James and Diera are the perfect couple. They are always supporting each other, constantly laughing and touching and they just can't seem to get enough of each other, the white lies that I have to keep aren't worth spilling, because at the end of the day, James will still love Diera and he still won't even notice me, even if I am right under his nose nearly every day. I'm not complaining, not at all, I love my job and I am very well paid, I have set hours that I work unless in cases of emergency, which is pretty much four days a week, but still no complaining, because for ten years, I have had the simple privilege of being close to the man I am in love with, but that is the problem, those pesky feelings has kept me here, driving around in my lunch to pick up sweet Lamia from school and drive her to her dance class, for a four year old, that girl can move. Three days a week, when I am not working late with James, I cook and clean at his house, have a wine with his wife and then I am off, running to my apartment to get some much needed sleep. I am stuck in this endless circle of providing for him, yet I forget to provide for myself, all because I can't seem to walk away from him.

I just walked into James's office when the call came through and as I listened to the doctor explaining to him that there has been a horrible accident that I realized what the time was. It was past three in the afternoon and I haven't stopped to look at the time. I had been running around, trying to answer an overload of emails, trying to answer the phone that never seems to stop ringing and then running around, trying to get client files for James that he requested. I never stopped to look at the time. I quickly ran to my table, my heart pounding in my chest as I grabbed my phone and saw ten missed calls, all from Diera. She tried to get a hold of me because I was supposed to pick up Lamia at two and take her to her dance class. Instead, Diera got in her car and she never reached her destination, all because I didn't look at my damn phone.

That was three months ago. Every time I look at him, guilt eats at me. I can't tell him that his wife is dead because of me, can't tell him that I was the one that was supposed to pick up Lamia, that if I had just kept my eyes on the time, his wife would still be alive. I can't tell him that though, I refuse to tarnish the memory of the woman he loves. Instead, I keep on working, going on as if I know nothing of his private life. I don't tell him about the empty hole I feel in my heart, about the fact that in the ten years that passed, I have became friends with Diera, I have known secrets about her that he didn't even know, I pretend that I am not falling apart right along with him. Just like I have been pretending for the past ten years like I wasn't head over heels in love with him.

"Aedlin, I need the file on the Betterman family." James says from within his office. Guess that is the nice thing about having my table right outside of his office door, he doesn't have to do much more than raise his voice to tell me what he wants and needs. There is also no please and thank you, not since that day. I am surprised he even remembers my name most days. I quickly open the file on my laptop and send it to him, waiting for that thank you, stupid as I know there will be none. "Fuck!" I hear him shout and I flinch. "Aedlin, did you remember to get ahold of Marcus regarding the progression of the Betterman estate? They need to be done with that kitchen by tomorrow morning." He says. I hear his footsteps as he comes to the door, and I look up just as he steps out of his office.

"They finished the kitchen yesterday, we are ahead of schedule on the Betterman estate." I tell him and he gives a sigh of relief.

"I really should give you a raise." He says and I smile, because he said this a month ago and he did give me that raise, but he keeps forgetting what he is doing and I have to constantly remind him. He used to be on top of things, used to be better dressed and shaved, but since Diera passed, he hasn't been able to focus on one thing for long before his attention is pulled into another direction. He has taken over the duties of his wife, or the duties he thought she had, instead, he has made my work less, by picking up Lamia from school every day and taking her to her dance classes and then leaving early to be home in time to cook for her. He tries his best to be mother and father for their little girl and I admire him for it, but I really wish I could help more. I wish I could tell him that I would pick up Lamia and that I would help him cook, but then he would know what I have been doing or worse, what his wife wasn't doing and I can't add that to my conscience. Goodness, I don't think I can bare setting foot in his house and be reminded of the last day I saw Diera, can't stand to look at her photos hanging on the walls and know that it is my fault that she is now nothing but a memory.

"You gave me a raise last month. If you give me another raise, you will end up paying me your salary while taking mine home." I tell him with a little laugh that I really don't feel, but I have gotten so good at pretending that he doesn't even realize just how fake my laugh is.

"I have the largest construction company in Florida, I doubt that your salary is even ten percent of the salary I take home." He says, reminding me of that sad truth.

"In that case, raise away." I say, this time skipping over the fake laugh. For a moment he looks at me and I look at him and I allow myself to just take him in. His black hair hasn't been cut in weeks, some of it hanging in his eyes and I am dying to wipe it out of the way, but I know that would be inappropriate. His blue eyes that use to shine with laughter are now haunted, lost and filled with grief. His usual five o'clock shadow has turned into a full on beard and I am not sure if I like it or if I hate it. Don't get me wrong, I like a man with a bit of a beard, but I hate it because I know why it is there, because he has no energy or reason to put in the effort to shave it. His body is harder, I know he has been spending more time at the gym, not because he wants to look good for anyone, but it is the best way for him to take out his frustrations and deal with his pain. His clothes sit tighter on those extra added muscles, but his tie is uneven and his shirt is wrinkled. "How are you holding up?" I ask him, as I watch his eyes go distant.

"I am fine." He says, rubbing his hand over his beard.

"You should leave." I tell him when I see what the time is.

"Am I that bad?" He asks suddenly and I look at him confused. "You are chasing me away from my own office." He says in answer to the confusion I am sure is showing on my face.

"What? No, it is ten minutes to two, you need to head out now if you want to get to your daughter on time." I tell him and that seems to shake him out of whatever trance he was in. He looks at his watch and growls in frustration.

"Shit, I needed to send the contract to the Jacobs family an hour ago." He looks pissed and then looks between his office and the elevator that will take him to the lobby of our building.

"If you want to, I can fetch Lamia today and you can finish that contract, I am sure Mr. Jacobs will understand why you are a bit late." I tell him, hoping he won't think my question strange. When he sighs in relief, I nearly do to. I have missed the little girl and I can't wait to see how she has approved in her dance lessons.

"Thank you, Aedlin, I will send you the address. She also has a dance class that you will need to take her to if you don't mind." He says and I don't bother to tell him that I already know all of this, because I know that will lead to questions and he won't like the answers. Instead I quickly pack my things and head out as James head back into his office to get started on that contract.

Finally, I will get to see my little monster again!