OH! My Lady |FAIRVERSE Book - 2|

Zylith.

OKAY! Before you get all confused, baffled, stupefied and blah blah blah... about my impending death, hear me out.

Hmm! Where should I begin? From the time when I stooped too low to wash my face in the washbasin of my school lavatory and eventually got sucked into a little whirlpool that formed in that weird basin. Oh! And thus, ended up in this middle aged rotten of a world (What is this, ENCHANTED?), or from the time when I was caught by human traffickers while wandering cluelessly in this vile place and then got sold off as a house maid?

Either way, I was screwed the moment I was sold off to the Ronales' house of dukedom.

Let me tell you this, the house of duke Ronales was the filthiest turd-bag family of the history. Both in the past, present and possibly in the future. And I am not exaggerating, not in the least, I can so imagine them being one of those famous modern political families that sucks the country dry from the inside out. Mhmm. Totally!

They were like this massive S&M family who enjoyed the plight of the less fortunate ones. Like whips, masks and leather high heels that would grind into your skin if faults were found, again, not exaggerating guys. At first, I, being from the modern feminist era and a being fuelled by caffeine, sarcasm and attitude, couldn't take all the sh*t they were throwing at me but quickly I learned, if I wanted to survive, I needed to keep my head stooped low and be as low-key as possible.?

And consequently, I Zylith Sanders A.K.A Lithe, became an inconspicuous servant girl who hailed from the sh*ttiest family of nobles. Or at least I was about two weeks ago. I still can't help but curse that blasted day when I set foot into the tea room of Duke Maddox Ronales, more like Mad-dog Ronales (Suits his barking personality better) and accidentally overheard the conversation, rather argument between the duke and his eldest daughter.

The eldest daughter of the duke, Elizabeth Rosalinda Ronales was a beautiful typical golden-haired blue-eyed girl of sixteen who was an eighteenth-century version of the bitchy Queen-bee. I even impulsively called her Lady Queen-bee to her face once, and she seemed infuriated at first, presuming it to be an insult; which it was. But she didn't need to know that. I, being the kind soul that I was, bestowed upon her the meaning of her title. In other words, I just said that Queen-bee was a title given to those who stood above all others and she seemed to like the name a lot (Bonus, I didn't exactly lie). So much so that she ordered every servant in the house to address her by nothing but that name.

The insult that I, so discreetly threw at her face, surprisingly got me into her good graces and I raised from the title of a lowly servant girl to the personal maid of Hers truly Lady Queen-bee. You can only imagine my hilarious irony. And hence I learnt a new trait of survival in this place. FLATTERY.

Lady Queen-bee was to be send off to the king of this kingdom as an offering of loyalty of the Ronales household towards the king, but she was not a willing individual in this ordeal.

Rumor had it that the 27th king of this kingdom was an evil heartless ugly man who slaughtered without means or mercy. He was known as the epitome of cruelty and wouldn't even hesitate to kill the nobles if need be. He was even rumored to kill his many children just because he hates kids(He's not even married, I have no idea how he has got children. Don't ask me, maybe they were all his illegitimate children). Plus, he was the most grotesque man anyone had ever laid their eyes upon. Burnt scars all over his face made his face look like a withered ginger root, and nose that of a boar and eyes as conniving as an old fox. In simple words, he was butt-ugly, or so the rumor goes.

And that did not sit well with Elizabeth Ronales.

"Father! How could you do this to your own daughter? I am not getting married to that ugly vile creature." Elizabeth cried.

"Watch your mouth Lizzy! Even walls have ears, and besides, we can't exactly refuse the king." The Duke sighed for the nth time. Not like I could blame him, if I had a daughter like Lady Queen-bee, sighing would be like breathing to me.

"Father! Please, father. I don't want to get married to that king. Haven't you heard about him? How could you be so cruel to your only eldest daughter!? Pushing me into this hellhole with your own two hands. HOW!!!" Her shrill voice rang throughout the room. Her mother, the lady duchess by her side, was trying to dwindle her outburst.

"Do you think I want to send you off to that man? But we have no other choice. The king doubts I've been conspiring with the rebels against him. If I don't do as he says and send you off to him, he will take my actions as a sign of treason and none of us will be left to tell the tale." He yelled back at the hysteric daughter.

"Darling please, she is only sixteen. And you know how much we adore our Lizzy, you can't expect her to take this silently and not protest. This is so unfair to both her and us, her family. To be cornered like this just because the king suspects us." Lady duchess pitched in.

"Unfair as it may, this is politics. He is just looking for a chance to catch me off guard so that he can remove me off my position and possibly even kill me. So if I don't do as he asks of me now, I will entirely fall into his well woven trap and all of us will be doomed for good. He has left us with no choice." The duke sighed in dissonance.

"No matter the cause, I refuse to give up my happiness for anything else. I'd rather die." Queen-bee shrieked back. Way to be selfish.

"Elizabeth! There would be no happiness to gloat around for if you keep being bull-headed like that." The duke bawled in frustration. "Servant!" He looked at me firmly, "Take her a way and make preparation for the lady's departure as soon as possible."

"Yes my lord." I bowed my head in dismissal as I dragged off a yelling frantic young ball-of-stress with me.

et me tell you this, dragging a sixteen-year-old frenetic bitch was no laughing matter. She was as wild as an enraged bull.

"Let me go I say, LET ME GO!!!" She kicked and threw fits like a five-year-old.

"Please don't be difficult my Lady. You know I cannot disobey the lord's orders. I beseech you to return to your chambers." I bit back my lips in sheer annoyance. Her tantrum was getting on my last nerve. I wondered if she would gain back her senses if I were to slap her just this once. Nah! What am I thinking, if zombies were to infiltrate this mansion she would be perfectly safe. Being her level of stupid should be a crime if you ask me. But sadly so, no one's here to ask the right questions. Now that I think about it, I wonder if this airhead would lose a tooth or two if I were to slap her face. It would give me great pleasure if I could disfigure her exulting face a tad little bit.

"How dare you order me around. Who do you think you are, you low born peasant." She screamed into my delicate ears and I realized I was think-babbling again. Yeah, I tend to do that sometimes. Living in this sh*tty world took a huge toll on me, so I tended to escape to my bloody_ AHEM! I mean appealing fantasies from time to time.

"No my Lady, I dare not. I was just..."

"Out of my way you peasant." She pushed me off like I was a ragged doll and sauntered away to her majestic room (please note the sarcasm) in a huff.

"Sheesh! Peasant this peasant that. Don't worry Queen-bee, after about a few decades, you and your family will be nothing but lowly peasants yourself. Just you wait for democracy; dearest democracy will do your family justice." I mumbled to myself.

"Who's democracy?" Hilda, the head maid and also my dear friend popped up from behind.

"Oh! Good morning Hilda. What's up?" I smiled at her and she in turn smiled at me brightly.

"Good morning Zylith." Hilda was the first friend I made in this world and she was the whole reason I am still not limping on one foot or crippled to this day. In other words, she taught me the ways of this world. As a result, still breathing here guys.

"So...what is this about democracy?" She pressed further.

"Oh you see, democracy is a title honoured to a person who is bold enough to get rid of this scum family of nobles. Just imagining about it gives me the exciting jitters you know." I winked at her and she laughed.

"Oh Zylith, you talk in the strangest of ways you know. But I have grown accustomed to it now, even though I fail to understand what you mean half the time." She shook her head in mirth. "But be careful, as I always say..."

"Yes yes, don't condemn the scummy nobles so openly or my head would fly. I get it." I nodded in concede. I've heard her 'be-careful' speech far too many times, enough to blabber it out by heart now.

She chuckled in delight to that, "Alright you big girl, let's get to work, we have so much to do." And off we went to dust and prune.

I should've known.

The moment I heard a knock at my door in the middle of the night I should've smelled the trouble and made my escape. But I was too carefree back then. For a moment I forgot I was not in Brooklyn, in my safe democratic world. I was in a dog-eat-dog world, where danger lurked in every corner of this place. I was too laid-back, and thus, it came back to bite me in the ass.

"Who is it?" I asked when I heard the knock.

"This is Daniel, open the door. Your presence is required in the lord's study room." He said, Daniel was an old butler who had been in the Ronales family for about forty years now. He was the lord's most trusted beagle _ Ahem! I mean aide (What! He looked like a beagle) and did all of his dirty jobs under the table. Or so I heard.

I quickly put on my night cardigan and opened the door and Daniel led me to duke Mad-dog's study room.

None of us servants except for Daniel was allowed into mad-dog's study room, so I knew something grave must've happened when I was being led to the study room. Adrenaline flooded my system; it pumped and beat like it was trying to escape. I thought my heart would explode in utter fear and I couldn't help think back to what wrong had I done other than curse the Ronales family to hell and back. My body wanted to run fast for the safety of the hills, but instead I remained where I was and silently followed old Daniel. Let's face it, there was really only one thing I could do: Pray no one kills me.

Daniel opened the door to the study room and there I saw a very anxious and unnerved duke and duchess. Their demeanour was masked in a whiff of fear and frenzy and they looked like they were ready for a heart attack. What the hell happened?

"You asked for me my lord?" I spoke in a shaky small voice, careful not to tick them off.

"Yes I did." The duke replied, "You are Lizzy's personal maid, am I correct?"

"...Ah! Yes, my lord."

"Then do you know where she is right now?" He asked, uptight.

"Erm...shouldn't the lady be in her chambers? Resting?" I asked. I was plenty tensed.

"No she is not." He replied in a stern tone, and I couldn't help but frown at that. "HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW? YOU ARE HER PERSONAL MAID. WHAT WERE YOU DOING WHEN SHE DISAPPEARED?" He bellowed at the top of his voice, like a provoked animal, ready for the kill.

DISAPPEARED DISAPPEAred DISAPpeared.....the echo of the words kept buzzing in my ears.

Sh*t! That stupid Queen-bee!

What the hell was she thinking. God! I should've sensed something was fishy when she decided to lock herself up in her room. Idiot! I was an idiot who was going to lose her head because of the foolish Queen-bee now.

Ah Hell.

"F-Forgive me, my lord. I.. This servant was not aware of the lady's disappearance. I did not know. Please believe me! I swear." I pleaded, but I doubt it did anything to taper his demonic wrath.

Aw man, I was really done for now. What do I do? What Do I Do?

"You think you can lie to me girl? Who else but you would know about her whereabouts. You are her personal maid." He kept on howling like the mad dog he was. This really seemed like the end for me.

"I really don't know." I cowered in fear.

"If you would excuse me, my Lord." Suddenly Daniel intervened. "I believe this servant girl had nothing to do with Lady Elizabeth's disappearance."

"And why would you say that Daniel?" Duke Mad-dog frowned in irritation.

"The head maid found a letter by the lady's bedside my lord." He handed the duke a white folded sheet of paper. "According to the letter, the lady eloped with her lover since she did not want to be send off to the king. And according to the servants, Lady Elizabeth had locked herself in her room since this afternoon and warned no one to disturb her until she herself called for aid. Hence the possibility of this maid to be involved in the lady's disappearance is unlikely." He declared. I did not know why Daniel was helping me but whatever, God bless you Daniel! Long live Daniel. I, since this moment, am forever your loyal fan Daniel.

"Hmm...I see. That child will be the death of me." Duke Mad-dog sighed in apprehension. "Still, now this girl knows too much. We can't possibly just let her live."

Huh!? What do you mean you can't let me live?? Shitty Mad-dog, you can't just kill me just because you are angry. Jesus shall never forgive you. Mom and dad won't ever forgive you. Derek(My BFF and cousin if you are wondering) will never forgive you. Hell, I won't ever forgive you. Mind you, I hold long enraging grudges. My ghost will come back and haunt you forever if you kill me now. And I will personally make sure to curse you into oblivion. MAY YOU LOOSE YOUR BALLS!

"But the core of the matter still remains unsettled." The duchess pointed out, "What do we do about the engagement with the king? We can't just evade the matter by saying that our daughter eloped. Not only would that bring shame to the Ronales household but we might even loose our heads."

"Yes, my lady is right." Daniel said, "As for that, I think I might have a solution."

"Solution? Daniel, whatever do you have in mind?" The lord asked in anxiety.

"According to my knowledge, Lady Elizabeth has yet to make a public appearance in the high society, correct?"

"Yes, Lizzy was supposed to make her first social debut on her seventeenth birthday this year. What of it?" The Lord said.

"Well, then not many know what the daughter of the Ronales family would look like I assume. This is going to serve as a huge advantage for us."

"Whatever do you mean Daniel?"

"My lord, I suggest we send this servant girl to the king in place of Lady Elizabeth. No one really knows what Lady Elizabeth looks like other than the servants of this house and a few others. Certainly not the king and the other nobles. I don't think we will be exposed so easily."

"You mean like a fledgling exchange?"

"Yes." Daniel nodded in concord.

"But she is a maid; she doesn't know the required etiquette to be presented to the king." Duke Mad-dog pondered. "She will be exposed right away."

"Fear not my lord; we still have about half a month left till the lady's departure. We will do everything in our power to educate the girl. And if by any chance she is exposed as a fake then we will just feign innocence saying that we sent the real Lady Elizabeth to the royal capital but we didn't know what happened on the way to the capital. That we were not aware that an impostor has taken our lady's place, and hence this will pave way to the disappearance of the lady. This will be in our favor as well since we will gain sympathy and trust not only from the king but also from the nobles and citizens of the country. And the blame will ultimately be shouldered by this girl." Daniel said.

F*CK YOU DANIEL.