Getting married to the beast

If this pizza does not arrive quickly...

I gaze out the window of my residence in California. It's exorbitant, and I'm surprised I'm still here. Of course, I share it with my roommate, Abigail. I'm not sure why I'm staring out the window since I can't see anything from up here.

CRASH!

When I turn around, I see the plastic cups on the ground and the twins Harry and Harmony pointing at each other. "Please take the cups and be more cautious next time," I say, rolling my eyes.

They laugh and take the mugs. "Have you seen my graphing calculator, Suzette?" I take a look at Tyson.

"Are you serious?!?" I cross my arms. I promise if you dropped it..."

"...you need to relax." I just misplaced it. When is the pizza going to arrive? You only have this attitude when you're hungry." He interrupts me.

"I don't develop an attitude when I'm hungry," I say under my breath as I roll my eyes at him.

"You do," Tyson protests.

I purposefully knock into his shoulder, more like his hip, since he is a full foot higher than me. He doesn't even move, yet I find myself slightly off balance. He smiles and takes his calculator from his rucksack.

"Ah, I discovered it."

"Good," I murmur.

"I'm not going to get you another one. That cost me an arm and a leg." I'm about to go into the kitchen when I hear the doorbell ring and a knock.

"Food!" I scream and dash to the front door. When I open it, the pizza delivery man says, "Order for Suzette."

I could smell the cheesy goodness wafting from the packaging. I imagined myself taking a slice from the circle and seeing the steam rise into the air, filling the room with its pleasant aroma. "That would be me; I think it was thirty bucks," I said, snapping out of my trance.

I gave the guy thirty-five bucks. "Thank you for the five," he says and walks away. I slam the door shut and yell. "Pizza has arrived!" The next thing I hear is a swarm of feet pounding on the floor and cries of "Finally!" and "Hooray!" I place the pizza on the table and go to the kitchen to get some plates. "Thank God. I'm famished," Abigail exclaims excitedly.

"Me too; I could devour a whole cow," I chuckle.

She stops smiling and turns to face me. "Um, I don't think so." I glance at her and say, 'I'm not serious.' Abigail eats just vegetables. Her passion for animals is beyond my comprehension. Back in Georgia, she has a dog named France. She couldn't bring her to California since it would be too expensive to feed her. I can never forgive Abigail for purchasing a tofu bone to remind France of her. France, poor France.

"Cows should not be eaten," says Abigail.

"But cows taste so nice," Harmony says, looking up at Abigail.

"Shit, you got it right," Tyson said. I whack Tyson on the back of the head.

"Shut it and keep your mouth shut around the kids. Don't even think of touching my pineapple pizza while I go grab the baby." I chastise.

"Anyone in their right mind knows berry on pizza is a crime," Tyson spits as I walk away. Even though he can't see, I roll my eyes and retrieve the baby, Genesis, from the play pen, cooing at her and returning to the kitchen. I take her bottle from the refrigerator and warm it up while carrying out a patch test to ensure it is not too hot for her to drink. Once the temperature is perfect, I sit in the high chair on the island and feed her. I grin and thank Harry as he offers me a plate of food. I smile as I watch everyone eat. Life seems to be going well, yet I feel something is missing. I usually do, although I'm not sure why.

No one in my family is sick, my parents have expenses to pay but are healthy, God and I are best friends, I have a few excellent pals, and I'm in school working hard and passing. However, I get the impression that I am missing something like a gaping hole in my existence. My father often reminds me that being single and looking for a spouse is bad. I often contend that the Bible speaks nothing about a woman finding a spouse. My mother wants grandchildren to pamper, but I dislike children. Jokes on me since I'm caring for four children who aren't mine. I can't seem to fill up that blank. Don't even get me started on the clichéd nonsense about how the missing piece will be the love of my life. People, my life is not a fairytale. I don't want to marry; my major goal is to get my Midwifery degree and work at Emory Hospital in Georgia. I'm nearly through with my education since I double majored and took dual enrollment programs to get my fundamental college coursework like algebra and English out of the way. After which, I plan on getting my own house and paying off my parents' debts. You see, there has been no time to date males, and the one relationship I had ended due to college obligations.

I don't need a guy. What I need is money. Men need me, not vice versa. I look over to the mail pile on the counter and sigh, knowing that somewhere in that mail pile is a bill that must be paid, which makes me very sad. These kids have been through a lot, and I can't bear the notion of them suffering much more.

After everyone has eaten, Abigail and I clean up while the kids get ready for bed. I recycle the plastic plates and store the leftover pizzas in the refrigerator. Abigail cleans the cups as I clean the counter and sweep the floor. "The light bill is due," she sighs. "I loathe adulthood," I moan as well. I reach into my purse for a check, and she offers me a forced grin.

"We'll put your money towards food." I spend any remaining funds on Genesis's requirements. "Everything is OK," I reassure Abigail.

When the phone begins to ring, I go to answer it. "Hello?"

"Good day, Suzette." It's me, Justin, and I'm sorry, but you've been fired. I promise I tried to persuade them to keep you, but they've decided to let you go. I understand why, but it's a dumb explanation."

I swallow hard, attempting to keep my tears at bay. "It's OK; tell me why."

"Beautiful, essentially, he doesn't believe you're pretty enough for the position," he sighs. "Delilah the hoe, he says, is lovely and attractive employees attract customers. He claimed you're not, but I said you are."

"It's OK, Justin," I sigh, "well, it's not fine that I was fired for no cause, but it's fine."

"I'm very sorry, Suzette." I nod, but I know he can't see me.

"Yeah...umm...goodbye, Justin." I hang up before he can respond. When I turn around, Abigail has a sorrowful expression on her face. I worked for a firm that paid well, and now I've lost everything since my boss's daughter sabotaged my career there. Delilah and I both worked as receptionists. She has made it clear that she dislikes me.

"Hey, it's all right." Suzette, the restaurant where you work pays well, as does the café." I nod, still unsatisfied, and add, "I'm going to bed; see you in the morning." She nods and follows me to my room. I notice Genesis sucking on her pacifier in her cot.

I go to the bathroom and start the shower. I take off my clothes and walk into the warm water. I stand there pondering what to do. A three-bedroom apartment houses six people. Abigail, Tyson, Harmony, Harry, and baby Genesis were there. Tyson is 17 years old and will graduate next year. Harmony and Harry are twins who are a lot of effort but are also quite sweet. Genesis is a 4-month-old infant, and I'm shocked she made it into this world, given her parents' behavior.

I'm not a great admirer of children, yet I am with them by choice. I'm insane, but I couldn't keep them in that home any longer. I was their babysitter and worked for their insane parents. I'm 23, and Abigail is 22; we've known each other since middle school. I'm studying midwifery, and she's not sure what she wants to do. I get out of the shower after washing myself and go to my closet, which is tiny yet contains all of my things. I hang up my towel and gaze in the mirror on the door. I recall when I didn't have any curves, and my body was a straight line. I picture myself now, with my modest curves from nearing womanhood and my hips broader than before, not excessively so, but just enough. My b-cup boobs are appearing a little plumper than normal. It's probably because my menstruation is approaching. I'm thin, which makes me feel uneasy in the least. Curvy females attract more attention than I do, so I grab some underwear and put on my uniform since I have to work at the restaurant tonight. My outfit consists of a mid-thigh-high dark blue tight dress and a front-facing white apron.

I put on my black shining flats, style my wavy hair in a ponytail, grab my handbag, and start walking out the door. As I'm ready to leave the apartment, Abigail bursts into the living room, a stressed look on her face. "My employer just phoned to say she needs me right now and is going to pay me extra." I sigh in exasperation and place my little ashy palms on my face.

Dang, I thought, I need to moisturize my hands. I return my gaze to Abigail, recognizing the gravity of the situation. "What about the children?" I say.

"Take them with you," she replies with a shrug.

I let out a frustrated sigh and gathered all the children. I get the infant, place her in the carrier, and then grab the twins. Tyson isn't home since he went to Devin's place. I told him he could, and now I'm sorry I did. I take Abigail's vehicle keys, and her lips open to protest my stealing her car, but I beat her to it.

"No, I need the vehicle since I'm transporting the children." I'll drop you off, and you can take an Uber home." She rolls her eyes and swats me away.

I leave Abigail off and go to work. I arrive at the restaurant, which resembles a bar slash club with females and guys dancing improperly and affluent people hanging around. I pull over and walk the kids to the rear since I'm not permitted to bring children, but thankfully, my supervisor and I are somewhat buddies, so I get away with it. Every day, I thank God for making this a little easier.

I place the kids in front of the television in the rear and provide them with blankets, then take out my notebook and pen and get to work. It's full tonight for some reason; evidently, all these intelligent people are so wealthy that they can stay up late on a Sunday night without having to go to work since they have somebody to do that for them. It may seem that I hate on the more fortunate, but I assure you that I am not. I wouldn't say I like how some people sometimes misuse their advantages and treat others poorly. I have a lot of jerks here, but I also have some very kind folks. They also tip well, so I can't complain about their demeanor. The funds also cover that.

I go to table 10 and take their orders, and this continues for the rest of the night. I finish collecting my $50 tip and check the time. I groan and move back to the bar at 10:00 p.m. after working for two hours. I glimpse a familiar face and roll my eyes while smiling.

"I'm thinking you're normal and do you know what your lady friend would want when she gets here?"

"Hey, pancakes, you looking incredibly wonderful today; how about you be my woman friend tonight?" Chris says, smirking.

"Stop calling me pancakes, and I'm not a blonde bimbo waiting for a wealthy guy's testicles to jump on," I sneer.

He flirts with me, and I dismiss him. It's just our little thing, and I like chatting with him.

"What makes you think I exclusively pursue blondes?" he chuckles. He puts on a fake pout of pain. As though in anguish, he places his palm over his heart. "Is it because I'm wealthy and dashingly gorgeous, full of character and zeal?"

"You arrive here with a lot of blondes, not even a brunette; what do you want me to think?" I chuckle.

He chuckles a wonderful, heartfelt laugh. "If you keep rolling your eyes, they could get caught back there," Chris warns as I roll my eyes again. I roll my eyes, but then I realize what I've done and curse under my breath as Chris chuckles.

"Are you here alone or not?" I inquire of Chris.

He shakes his head no and says, "I'm waiting on a buddy...," turning around and pointing.

"He's finally arrived."

When I gaze in his way, I see the most beautiful guy I've ever seen. His jawline and height are mouth-watering, and the way he walks up to the bar with such elegance and confidence in every step is nerve-shattering. The want to leap on this guy and possess his lovely exquisite self is extreme. My breath is caught in my throat, and I completely blame my girl crazy hormones for my inability to control the thoughts racing through my brain.

Every nerve in my body is tingling. If this were a cartoon, my jaw would drop exaggeratedly, my tongue would roll out, and my eyeballs would jump out of their eye sockets. Chris notices my gaze and chuckles, "Like what you see?" Chris appears in front of my image as a mouth-watering dude.

"No, honestly, I don't like what I see; it's repulsive," I say as I gaze up at Chris. "Pancakes, why are you hurting me?" he asks, placing his palm on his heart. He turns around and grins at the delectable man. They sit and perform a guy hug. "See, I'm dining with a man," Chris says to me.