The Present Year

“Madam Elizabeth, pray forgive me for what I am about to tell you. But as your doctor, it must be said-”

My eyes instantly flashed open and I quickly jolted up awake, drenched in sweat underneath the gold silk duvet. My heart was beating against my chest very loudly, threatening to burst out of my rib cage. I took several deep breaths to calm myself, feeling the cold air scraping the insides of my nose and lungs. After a few minutes, my eyes surveyed my quiet surroundings. Moonlight from the balcony was peeking through the sheer curtains, barely illuminating the modern furnitures in the bedroom. Instinctively, I look towards my right. Disappointment filled every bone in my body when a perfectly made and untouched pillow was all that welcomed me. My head told me he was probably at work or with his friends. But my heart whispered he was with her.

After a few minutes of tossing and turning in bed, I knew that sleep has eluded me once again. A common occurrence since that day… or was it due to that other day? My stomach’s growling disrupted my negative thoughts. I grabbed a white fluffy robe from the closet. Since I couldn’t fall back asleep again, I decided to head downstairs to make myself a meal. I quietly tippy toed down towards the kitchen to avoid waking Cynthia. She has been cleaning the house all day, so I wanted her to get some well deserved rest. I turned on the lights and opened the fridge, while pondering on what to make. I decided to make a simple chicken wrap with the ingredients available. I took the ingredients out and settled them on top of the kitchen island.

After I got the stove started and started frying the chicken tenders, I heard a sweet voice behind me, “Lizzie, what in the fresh hell are you doing in here?”

I spun around and grinned at Cynthia. The short old woman’s grey hair was kept neatly in a bun, and she was wearing a red duster dress indicating she was about to go to bed. Her hands were on her waist. Her soft brown eyes and wrinkled face scrutinised me like she caught a kid stealing something, but her mouth was twisted up in a kind smile.

“I was just a little hungry, but I did not want to wake you up for such a trifle little thing. I do apologise for the noise.” I gave her an apologetic look, but she dismissed my worries by shooing her hands.

“Pipsqueak, I can hear the tiniest sounds that mice make. Also, quit it with the formalities, would ya?” She went around the kitchen island and stood next to me, observing what I was cooking. She glanced around, grabbed a knife and chopping board, and started chopping the vegetables sitting on top of the island. “Thought I told ya so many times that you can just ask me anytime you want to whip you up a meal. I do get paid handsomely for my job, ya know? You are the lady of this house.”

I caught myself impulsively whispering “Not for long”. I was surprised by what I just said and quickly stopped myself from saying anything else. Cynthia did not seem to hear me, as she was focused on cutting the vegetables. I was relieved. I finished up frying the tenders and started arranging the wrap. I began devouring the wrap and halfway through my food, Cynthia noticed that I made enough only for one person.

“Not going to make one for Mr. Lowe?”

I paused and frowned at her, “He’s… not coming home tonight.” I avoided looking at her in the eyes. Cynthia was quiet for several moments, and grabbed some apple juice from the fridge. She poured me a glass and I gave her my thanks. She was quietly observing me. After some time, she gently mentioned, “Lizzie, you are still Mr. Lowe’s wife. I am sure he would be hungry after being on business all day. Help me make him something to eat.”

After some thought, I reluctantly nodded at her. And we started making another wrap. She could tell that I didn’t want to talk about the big elephant in the room, so she redirected the topic on a lighter note.

“She’s so big that any day now and she’s ready to pop! I betcha she’s having a girl.”

Cynthia was discussing about her pregnant daughter, Emilia. It will be Cynthia’s first time being a grandmother, so her excitement is clearly palpable. I gushed with her as she showed me pictures of baby items she purchased in recent days. I can already picture her spoiling her grandchild to pieces.

“Aww, baby items are always adorable to look at! Has Emilia decided on the name yet?”

Cynthia heavily sighed, “Not a damn clue. That stubborn child of mine doesn’t even want to know if she’s having a boy or a girl. She wants to find out on the day. I swear, that stubbornness came from her dad. Cross my heart.”

I giggled at the thought, clearly the stubbornness came from Cynthia. “I wonder who the baby will look like more?”

“I hope the father. His genes needs to give ours a boost in height and hair. Still don’t know how that daughter of mine ended up with him. Praise the lord.”

“Cynthia!”

“What? Just telling ya how it is. Emilia has become more mellow now, but you would call me crazy if I told you the trouble she got into her youth.”

Emilia had been married to her husband, Andre, for three years. Emilia is a police officer, while Andre is an emergency worker. The two of them met when Cynthia was mugged while doing grocery shopping for us. The thieves were doing a rushed job and only demanded money, but Cynthia refused to yield. One of the thieves used a knife to cut away her bag, which ended up gashing her chest. Witnesses on the scene called for the police and emergency. When the police and ambulance came, Emilia was scolding her mother for being a stubborn old lady who recklessly put her life in danger. Cynthia ignored her, saying that she could have whooped their ass back in her days. Andre was treating Cynthia’s wound and was amused by what was transpiring between the mother and the daughter. Seeing as Emilia will continue to berate her, Cynthia remarked to Andre that Emilia was only acting tough now because Emilia finds him cute and wanted to look tough in front of him. At the cost of Emilia’s mortification, Andre did end up getting Emilia’s number and she agreed to dinner with him. The rest they say is history.

“Although you were in danger and I agree with Emilia, it’s such a sweet story to the start of their love. It always make me smile remembering it.”

Upon hearing what I said, Cynthia arched one of her eyebrow. “You didn’t have a such a sweet story?”

Elizabeth was lost in thought for a second, but she quickly recollected herself, “Oh, um, it was sweet in its own way. We-“

The sound of the garage doors opening put a pause to their conversation. Elizabeth and Cynthia quizzically looked at each other, then Cynthia motioned for Elizabeth to greet her husband while she cleaned up in the kitchen. As instructed, Elizabeth hurriedly waited at the front door to greet her husband. Several feelings began to churn inside of her, the most prominent were relief and excitement. But they could not quell the budding, inexplicable anxiety that she feels in her heart. The front door opens and a dark-haired tall man wearing a black hat and trench coat walked through the front door. He was surprised to find Elizabeth standing there with a smile. His dark brown eyes pierced hers, making her slightly nervous. Nonetheless, she gathered up the courage to greet him.

“Welcome home, my love.”

She warmly held out her hands to her husband, beckoning him to a warm embrace. Instead, the man continued to plainly look at her, but this time with an air of indifference. He placed in her hands the hat and coat he was wearing. And started to head upstairs without giving her another glance. After disappointingly putting the items away and putting something in her robe’s pocket, she called out and tried to follow him, “You must be hungry after a long day. I made you some fo-“

“Not hungry.” He shut the door to his room, signalling for her not to follow him inside.

Even after being married for 5 years, Elizabeth and Maxwell never slept in the same room. Not once since they have been married had they tried to consummate their marriage. She tried to initiate a few times, but he never allowed her advances. Their marriage is one would call a political marriage. The York and Lowe families are renowned names in the upper society. The Lowes come from old money and have been rumoured to have direct links to the royal family. They specialised in real estates and commercial buildings. On the other hand, the Yorks are nouveau rich. Their recent breakthrough in medical technologies earned them a spot in the higher echelons of society. The Lowes wanted to diversify their profile, while the Yorks wanted to expand their network. Five years ago, the heads of each family mutually made a decision to wed their future heirs to secure their alliance. Being the only child of the Yorks, Elizabeth knew her duty and she readily accepted her circumstance. Maxwell, on the other hand, wasn’t as willing. In fact, Maxwell wasn’t supposed to be the heir, as he was only the second son. His older brother, Vincent, relinquished his position as heir and removed himself away from the spotlight. No one knew the reason why Vincent did what he did, not even Maxwell. Therefore, the duty fell on Maxwell to proceed with the marriage.

Although his heart and soul weren’t in it, he still got married to Elizabeth. But no sooner than after the ceremony ended did Maxwell made it clear to Elizabeth that their marriage is only done for their families. She is free to do as she pleases. He would not interfere with her life, as long as she doesn’t interfere with his. They would appear - and need to appear- like a couple to the outside world, but outside of prying eyes, they were like complete strangers. Elizabeth made efforts on her part to make their marriage work, but all hopes and wishes were for naught as Maxwell wasn’t reciprocating at all. Still, Elizabeth did not lose hope that someday her husband may come to love her.

That is until that faithful day.

Feeling dejected, Elizabeth went back to the kitchen. No longer having an appetite, she stored her half-eaten wrap and the other wrap in the fridge. Cynthia just finished washing up the dishes and noticed what Elizabeth was doing.

“What you doing there, Lizzie?”

“Oh, I’m not hungry anymore. And neither is he. I think I’m going to sleep instead.”

Cynthia could see that Elizabeth lost that pep she had just a short time ago. Sighing heavily, Cynthia nodded and started shooing her to go to bed, “Lah, go. Get some beauty sleep. Don’t go turning like me.”

Elizabeth started to climb back up to her room. Along the way, she noticed that Maxwell’s lights were still on, meaning he was working on something. She resisted the urge to knock on his door and talk to him. For sure, he would be annoyed at her for interfering with his affairs. So, she quietly went back to her room and beelined to the bathroom. She didn’t turn on the lights as she didn’t want to see her reflection in the mirror, so she quietly brushed her teeth. Afterwards, she went back to her room, sat on her bed, and gently started to remove her robe. As she began to fold her robe, she heard a small metallic sound that landed around her feet.

She picked up the item and examined it in front of her. It was a diamond ring. It glistened brightly when the moonlight hit the stone. She felt a small engraving on the inside of the ring and could feel the making of a word. A name to be more precise. There was a swelling pain in her chest after seeing the ring. A few tears escaped her eyes and she covered her mouth with her hand to prevent any sound of crying from leaking out. She didn’t know how long she stayed like that, but fatigue eventually settled in and she ached for sleep to soothe her trouble heart and mind.

She stored the earring in the bedside table, along with other items she previously found: a hair tie, a lipstick, and an earring. Afterwards, she tucked herself in bed, glancing at the silver ring in her left hand. She remembered five years ago during her simple wedding of her parents’ shocked and offended faces when Maxwell slid the ring on her finger. Her father-in-law looked embarrassed, while her mother-in-law looked vindicated. On the other hand, Elizabeth didn’t care, as she was taking her marriage seriously and was happy to marry Maxwell. She vaguely remembered her parents second guessing whether they made the right decision, but she assured them it was what she wanted as well. However, what gave her the most pain was actually how Maxwell looked throughout the ceremony. He displayed no joyous emotion and professionally went about the whole process like business transaction.

Recalling the past gave Elizabeth a clear hindsight that perhaps her marriage was doom from the start, maybe even before it. She closed her eyes and softly whispered, “It’s time for me to let go.”.

The next day made her wish came true.