Life stood still

one

It had been months since he left but it felt like centuries. He had written everyone but me and I was trying to put a smile on my face. Trying to pretend that his actions had no effect on me. I mean he obviously cared so little where as I cared so much. He didn't even say goodbye to me. He avoiding me like the plague in the weeks that lead up to his departure. It felt like my heart was shattered every time someone got a letter from him. My best friend whipped the single tear that fell from my left eye.

"My brother is going to come home and it will be because he so desperately wants to tell you how he feels about you."

She smiled at me I looked at her confused. Here I was thinking that I was hiding my feelings for her older brother so well. I should have known she would see right through me because she knew me better then I knew myself most of the time.

"I'm sorry." The tears that I was able to keep on hold for the most part were now flowing like a waterfall. I wasn't crying because he hadn't written me at all, I wasn't crying because my heart was shattered. I was crying because It felt like I betrayed my best friend. I wasn't supposed to love my best friends brother; he was supposed to be like a brother to me. He wasn't supposed to be the first thing I thought about when I woke up in the morning and the last thing I thought about before my head hit the pillow. Astrid wrapped her arms around me and just let me cry until I couldn't cry anymore. When I was done she unwrapped her arms from my back and put her hands on my shoulders and pulled me away from her so I could look at her. I tried to look down but Astrid wouldn't let me. She made me look into her eyes, her eyes that were very similar to her brothers. Not as blue but very close to his.

"You have nothing to apologize for Sylvi. I knew you had a thing for Levi the moment I saw the two of you around each other. You were always the one that had her head in a book before you laid your eyes on Levi. Always focusing on the next tincture or solve you could make to help someone. Once you met Levi all that changed a little bit." I grunted and rolled my eyes at her.

"I didn't know he was your brother; I didn't know until it was already too late." Astrid smiled at me and nodded and smiled that I know it all smile. She was very wise for someone of are age.

"When we first became friends I didn't know you had a brother, I didn't know Levi existed." Astrid nodded at me again and smiled.

"He was away trying to become a man." Astrid laughed again and I just stared at her blankly.

"You know; we don't always have to tend to the farm. We can also learn to protect ourselves. Learn to protect and concur like Levi and the men do." I could see the fire in her eyes as she thought about what I said.

"If my mother was taught to fight she wouldn't be dead and your family wouldn't have the burden of another mouth to feed."

"You know as much as I do that you are not a burden. My mother loves you, I'm not sure my father loves anything but the sea." My heart broke for her as I felt the emotions behind her words. As I felt how heavy that hurt her.

"It's his loss really. Now can we go explore, I need to make more salves and tinctures." I forced myself to smile. Smiling felt unnatural and made my face sore. I hadn't smiled in such a long time. Not since my mom was killed, if I did smile it was because of Levi. He had so much power when it came to me and I wasn't sure he realized that. Hell, I wasn't even sure he cared to know really.

"Let us go explore and find more herbs for your tinctures and salves." Astrid smiled and we walked out of the hut. Astrid was looking at everything and everyone as we walked by and I just looked straight ahead and tried to get to where I wanted to be.

"Look who it is Astrid and Sylvi." Astrid stopped quickly at his remarks and I continued to walk until Astrid didn't. I walked back and linked my arm with Astrid's.

"Are you guys a package deal? Get Astrid and get you?" Sam asked smiling with rotten meat in between his teeth.

"That's Levis sister." One of his friends whispered but Astrid and I both heard him and watched Sam shrug his shoulders.

"Levi isn't here is he?" Sam looked at us and smiled. You could tell evil intentions were running around in that mind of his. Sam stepped closer and Astrid and I held each other a little tighter.

"You are even more beautiful than your dead mom Sylvi. You're tall, curvy and all the woman a man like me could ever want or need." Sam came face to face with me and I closed my eyes. I smelled his breath before I felt the wetness his tongue left behind when he licked my face. I shivered in discuss as he stepped away from me and I opened my eyes. I noticed that he had a knife on his hip. Astrid noticed what I was looking at and shook her head. I knew what I was about to do would change my life forever.

"Sam why don't you let Astrid go, then you and I can get to know each other a little better." I was hoping he was stupid and egotistical enough to believe that I would actually want those nasty lips and his meat breath on me. Sam nodded and I tried to force Astrid away but she stood there.

"Astrid I need you to go please. You and I both can't be where I'm going, your family took me in." I pushed her towards home and followed behind Sam. I didn't have to look back to know Astrid was going to follow me no matter what I said to her. At least this way it wouldn't be so obvious and he would expect her to listen like women are expected to. He wouldn't know she was there and I wouldn't tell. His friends left us alone so thankfully there would be no witnesses. He finally stopped right before the barn. I knew what happened in there, the rumors of the things that went on in there were things that I didn't want to do with him. I looked back to see Astrid and once again fire was behind those eyes of hers. She never disappointed me, it was like we shared one brain sometimes. The doors to the barn creaked, acold chill went down my spine. I followed him in and forced myself to smile. Sam sat down in the hay and pulled me on top of him. I thought I could wait, I thought I could handle his touch but I could not. He touched my cheek softly with his lips and I jerked up as if my mind had no control over my body.

"Please don't do this, you can walk away right now and we can pretend this never happened." My nails were pressed so hard into my palms that blood was dripping from them.

"All you are is a whore like your mother was, I've heard stories of how many men she did in this barn. I've heard stories of the many men that could be your father." Sam spat at me and grabbed my wrists and put them over my head. I struggled but I was no match for him. He was to focused on me to realize that the knife that was on his side was being touched. I was so beyond livid at this point; I was too angry to even speak a word to him. I waited till my mouth was full of saliva before I spat at him. My saliva landed right on his cheek. I watched as his hand let go of my wrist and slapped me hard across the cheek. He raised his hand to slap me again and that was when I felt the splatter of blood on my face. I looked down and the knife was sticking out of his chest. I stepped away from him and took the knife from Astrid. I pulled it out and watched him immediately grab his stomach trying to stop himself from bleeding. He was trying to say words but none were leaving his mouth. I stepped back with the knife and stepped forward forcing the knife to make contact with his neck. I twisted the knife that was in his neck and heard more blood spatter from his mouth. I removed the knife from his neck stabbing him a few more times before Astrid grabbed my shoulder. I don't know how many more times I stabbed him with his own knife but my arm was heavy and my eyes were blurry. Astrid took the knife and for the first time I saw what a forced smile looked like on her face.

"I told you to go home Astrid." for the first time since Levi left I wasn't feeling heartbroken because he left without saying goodbye. I was feeling panic because I just ended a man's life. I could have gotten him help but I didn't want to. I wanted him to die because of the things he said about my mom.

"So what are we going to do with his body?" Astrid asked throwing his knife on a pile of hay that was in the barn.

"We can feed him to the pigs." Astrid looked at me and nodded. I walked over grabbed his knife and chopped him into pieces. Luckily the pigs were just a few feet away so we picked up the pieces of what used to be Sam and tossed them to the pigs. We both sat on the barns floor not saying a word. We watched the pigs devour Sam until there was nothing left. Somehow I was a bloody mess and Astrid was not. I looked at Astrid and Astrid was looking at me.

"Now you can go home and I will wait until dusk to go wash this blood off in the river. You don't need to be associated with this." I grabbed Sam's knife and sat down on a pile of hay.

"No one will believe that you did this without my knowledge."

"I'm serious this time Astrid. If someone goes down for this, it is going to be me. You will not go down with me."

"I stabbed him first."

"I am bloody and bruised and you are not. Please just go home and let me do this by myself. Please let me do this one thing for you, you've done so much for me." I could tell Astrid didn't want to go home. She wanted to argue with me until the cows came home but she walked away anyway. I thought she would argue with me forever but she must have heard the desperation in my voice for her to go. I waited till it was dark out then I made my way to the lake to wash up and get rid of all the bloody evidence on myself. I stripped down and put my blood soaked clothes on the dirt. I walked slowly into the lake with Sam's knife and dunked my head under the water. I left Sam's knife under the water hoping the rough seas would get rid of it for me.I said a silent prayer to Freya and Odin then got out of the water. To my surprise my clothes were not where I left them. I looked around but didn't see anyone or anything. I stood there trying to figure out what my next move was going to be. I couldn't walk through the village naked. That would be asking the men to take turns and not to leave me dead afterwards. I was trying to figure out a way to get out of this alive when I heard a man's laugh. I turned around and there he was. The man hiding behind the tree wearing all black.

"Would you like to use my cloak to get home?" he asked asmiling at me.

"I would like my clothes back." I replied as calm as possible

"You mean the clothes soaked with blood?" He started to walk towards me and I started to back up.

"Here is what's going to happen Sylvi, you are going to take my cloak and I am going to walk you home. I'm going to keep your secret and you are going to marry me." He said which stopped me in my tracks. He continued to walk towards me and that was when I realized who he was. The king's son wanted to marry me, that was the last thing in this world that I wanted.

"I make tinctures and salves Schrine, your father isn't going to want you to marry a witch." The word witch had never left my mouth before. I never considered myself a witch before but if it got me out of marrying the king's son I would use whatever I could.

"I know who you are and what you do Salvi, I know who you care about and who you just killed. I also know who helped you do it and unless you marry me I will tell my father it was all Astrid." Those words hit me at my core. He knew exactly what to say to make me do exactly what he wanted.

"How long?" I asked trying to stay calm, it wasn't just my life that he had in the palm of his hands it was Astrid's too.

"I've wanted you for a long time Sylvi." Schrine ran his finger through his hair and smiled at me. I never really looked at him before because it didn't matter. He was handsome though, handsome and tall. He had dark hair and dark eyes. The complete opposite of Levi but he was still handsome.

"You are the son of the king; a bunch of women would love to be your wife. Why do you want me? I'm probably the only person in the village that has no interest in marrying you." I said making eye contact with him.

"I want you because you are beautiful and strong. You're the best woman in this village and I will not let him have you." Schrine stated biting his lip and making himself bleed.

"He doesn't even want me Schrine, he left without saying a word to me. He left and has never written me. You want me because you think Levi wants me but he doesn't. He doesn't care about me like that." Schrine just looked at me and started laughing. You know that laugh that really comes from your belly when you find something hilarious? That was the laugh Schrinewas doing.

"You really have no idea do you? You believe Levi doesn't have any feelings for you at all. What a naïve girl you are. That doesn't matter to me anyway, I will walk you home and you will say no word of the blackmail or Astrid will go down for it. We will act like we have decided to see where things go and then we will marry."

"Astrid and Levi will never believe that I decided to marry you willingly." Those words left my mouth in a whisper. I knew killing Sam would change my life but I didn't think it would happen like this. Most women in this village would love being the king's son's wife but I was not like most women. I wanted one man and one man only and according to Schrine he wanted me too. In a matter of seconds my heart was full just to be shattered again. I could never be with Levi because Astrid would pay for it. I wasn't going to hurt that family anymore then I already had. I had to protect them, after everything they had done for me I had to do this. I had to do this all alone and hope neither one questioned me about it.

"Fine, promise me you will never link Astrid to Sam. Swear on Odin and give me your word and I will do as you wish." I was hoping my voice wouldn't continue to deceive me but those words were soft and low. Even lower than the words I whispered a few minutes before those.

"I swear to Odin and give you my word as long as you marry me I will never link Astrid or you to Sam's death."

"Fine, if you walk me home though Astrid will know something isn't right. Just give me your cloak and let me go." I was fighting hard to hold back the tears that wanted to fall free. Schrine took his cloak off and handed it to me very slowly. He was enjoying the view of my naked body I wasn't that Naïve to not notice that. I grabbed the cloak and wrapped it around me.

"Tomorrow you will come by asking Astrid's dad for permission to see me. Astrid's mother would for sure say no so don't do that. Her father only cares about fame and fortune and the sea so ask him. Then we can appear to want to be in each other'scompany." I didn't wait for him to respond I just started making my way back to the hut in the village. I couldn't keep myself together anymore though. I was walking and balling my eyes out like a little baby. That one decision really messed up my life. What the gods had planned for me I had no idea but if this was going to be my life I wasn't going to be around very long. I walked into the hut and immediately found some clothes to put on then I went and laid in bed made of grass and mud. Astrid was up and I could tell she had many questions that she wanted answered but I couldn't do it tonight. I probably would never really be in the state of mind to do it. Astrid was going to see right through me and I had to figure out a way to make that not so obvious. I cried myself to sleep that night. I woke up to the voices of Schrine and Levi and Astrid's dad yelling

"I will not give you that much for her, her mother was a whore and you think I am going to pay that. Not only was her mother a whore she was a witch and so is Sylvi" The words that left Schrine mouth really hit a sore spot. Their swords were being drawn and that was when I ran into the room they both were at. Astrid was just staring at Schrine and Arni. I looked at Arni and shook my head.

"Don't do this, I will not have you die protecting me. Even if you did kill him the men he has outside will kill you."

"My son would never forgive me if I didn't at least fight for you." Arni lifted his sword and Schrine and him started to fight. Before I could do anything the men that were once outside had me in their arms and were holding me Astrid and Magda.

"No don't do this, Levi will hunt you down and destroy you if you kill his father. Just let's go, I will leave with you now if you spare him. If you walk away from this, I will go and I will live in your fortress. I will do whatever you ask of me as long as you spare him please." I screamed and that was when I heard the sound of skin shredding Schrine cut off Arnis head and it rolled stopping right in front of Astrid. Magda lunged at Schrine and was also met with his sword. It was like a nightmare I couldn't wake up from. This was supposed to be peaceful and calm. A war wasn't supposed to start because of something I did in the barn. Astrid and Levi were not supposed to be destroyed by something I did. I was bad luck and whomever was around me would be destroyed. Astrid stared at her parents' dead bodiesand I was sure she would hate me forever.

"I'm sorry Astrid oh so very sorry." I said as I watched her on her knees looking at the bodies of her parents. Schrine grabbed me by the waist and put me on his shoulder and walked with me. I didn't bother moving or putting up a fight, I couldn't have anyone else die because of me. Schrine carried me back to his home in silence. He didn't utter a word and neither did I. The men he took with him to carry out his plan were also silent. They must have known it wasn't time to talk. I'm sure later tonight everyone would forget about what happened and the blood that was shed. I would never forget what Schrine did and what Astrid and Levi lost because of me.

"You will join me tonight at the feast, Levi should be getting back so this should be great fun. You will not run because I will find you and destroy what you care about most" Schrine said smiling at me. I just nodded at him and sat down in a chair. His home was big and dark. It wasn't really a home but it was his. Astrid and Levi had a big hut this was much bigger. A lot of men must have come together to build this. I don't know how long I was sitting in that chair but Schrine came back and just stared at me.

"I want to learn how to fight, I want to learn how to be a shield maiden." I made eye contact with him daring him to challenge me.

"You want it Sylvi it shall be done." Schrine said smiling at me