My grandpa was 81 years old when had his first girlfriend. Over the course of 15 years, and before he died at the age of 96 (God bless your soul grampy), he made sixteen new girlfriends. He was such a hotcake that all the grannies in our neighborhood kept flocking around him. At his funeral this past June, there was barely any space for family members. We had so many conversations during his "steamy romance years", I'll be spilling all the secrets right here. This will be an "open book session", so drop your questions and unique love challenges and I'll treat them in subsequent chapters as the book progresses. I will be reading every of your comments. Here we go!
Chapter 1 With love, grandpa
"Do you know why you can't keep hold of any girl Dan?", my grandpa had asked me one day as we were both leaning on the rails of a bridge watching some small boats sailing across the water below.
"No", I replied. I had taken the question very lightly, after all no one was seriously going to take romantic/relationship advice from an eighty something year old man.
"You know what issues is, with you the young ones today?", he asked. He was looking at me now.
"A lot", I had remarked. "We play too much video games, we spent millions of hours on the Internet following the lives of celebrities who for one might not even know we exist, we drink too much...."
"I really don't think your generation drinks too much, but that's beside the point. The issue with your generation is that you don't really like to take advice"
"That's not true grampy", I protested. He hated it whenever I called him "grampy", said it made him feel old.
"Argue all you want, but the truth remains that none of you, not a single one of you is interested in whatever anybody else has to say"
I felt hurt. I don't know why, but I felt hurt, "are you trying to say that my generation is selfish?"
My grandpa was a wise man, and he could tell that I had been hurt by his assertion that my generation were a bunch of selfish ****.
"Well Danny boy, as much as you might not like to hear it, but its the truth. Its affected the way your generation handles everything. For example, look at the way you love"
"How do I love grandpa?", I asked
"You don't love at all", he had replied. For the first time since we began the conversation, I laughed.
"Are you saying this because of Kyrine", I asked. "You know it just wasn't my fault"
"Kyrine was a piece of shit", he replied. Thank you grandpa I said.
"..and so are you", he added softly.
"Grampy!"
"Can you take an advice", he had asked me seriously.
"Well it depends on -"
"No Danny boy, my question was, can you take the advice of an eighty three year old man serious?", he asked.
"Well, I guess I can"
"Then keep quite and let me tell you how to win the heart of any woman you love"
"Any?" I asked suspiciously
"Any woman on the surface of the earth. If after all I the secrets I will reveal to you, you still cannot hold the heart of the woman of your choice, then I advice you stop talking to me ever again"
"Well that's a bit extreme", I had replied him. I did not want to stop speaking with my grandpa because of some silly advice (or so I had thought that fateful morning), he was going to give me.
"That is the gravity of what I am about to tell you", he replied me. I shook my head, fire on then grampy.
I make this same promise to you my readers. If after reading all these and taking my advice, you still do not bag that man/woman you have always wanted, then call me Grampy!
Chapter 1 With love, grandpa
16/11/2023
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