lust and I

I have always been aware of my sexuality long before i knew what sex meant. Am neither effeminate nor was i molested as a child as assumed by many to be the standard of “becoming gay". My sexuality has always been “a knowing" to me.

As a teenager in my secondary school days, i remember having severe erections whenever i saw this certain senior student called Echozona. He was very good looking, tall and had a well toned and muscled physique. He was the sports prefect and was very active in games. I will always go and watch him play football just to drink the sight if his sweaty torso then go home and masturbate to the thoughts of having his naked body on mine as we kissed.

I was so obsessed with him that sometimes i will loiter around his class or stand very close to him just to be able to percieve a whiff of his scent or feel his presence around.

My first encounter with a man happened when Echozona fainted during the schools morning assembly and was taken to a clinic nearby. The News did spread round school and students (and also teachers) went to visit him. I accompanied some of my classmates to visit him after school and i brought some provisions for him alongside.

Echzona may have been liked by many but none of them loved and wanted him like I did. My classmates where a bit confused over my gifts and i lied that my parents and Echezona’s used to be friends but due to some misunderstanding, they were no longer in talking terms; that was why we ( Echezona and i) never interacted in school. They believed me.

He was asleep when we arrived his ward so we decided to come back some other day. Later that evening, i came back to the hospital alone without telling my friends. Bearing my gifts of provisions and food as i looked my best, i made my way to his ward as my heart thumped widly in my chest. The hospital seemed isolated and unusually quiet as i made my way to Echezona. Getting to his room, i saw him awake. He looked at me as if he was trying to recollect my face from a memory. I saved him the trouble by introducing myself. He welcomed me and was glad i brought him food because he was hungry and nobody had gotten him something to eat.