Dorathy's Muse (a true mafia lovestory)

Dorathy’s POV

What's a train without an engine or a guitar without its strings, what's a rhythm without a beat and an arm without a swing? What a life without love, it has no meaning, this literally describes me and my state. I lost meaning to life since I lost my parents, life has been a rollercoaster of events without meaning because they were the only ones who showed me the love I deserved and gave it meaning.

I've tried my best not to cry all my life since I was raised to believe crying is for the weak so I maintained this idea since I was a kid I was loved by my parents, it was weird but it was felt. The only time I saw myself I saw the death of my parents alongside my brothers, it was a horrific scene and lost control of all my emotions. Reminiscing on this event reminds me of the darkest day of my life. That was many years ago anyway and today I stand hard as a rock and cold as ice. An iota of emotion has never settled with me and I do not give room for it, when men approach me to spark romance, it feels like an engine without oil, it is like my heart's got friction but no spark. I've lost touch with what it is to feel for something or be in touch with my emotions, but for years I've been longing for this, i crave for warmth of a man's mouth on mine, his muscular arms keeping me in his embrace without me springing into war mode. I want to be loved by a man and vice versa, in my case it's just wishful thinking far from reality because who would love a stone-cold bitch like me. Broken and finds it hard to trust anyone, i doubt there would even if there is, i guess it would be really hard for me to let him, i want it but my heart is cold.

Being part of the biggest mafia in the whole of Spain, a renowned assassin, always looking over my shoulders and especially when you're always surrounded by men trying to protect me, sometimes they become very overprotective and it sucks. "I can take care of myself" I sing these words to their ears every 24 hours but they always believe they have to protect the "girl". It's funny how they are the ones that need my protection. The Mafia was all we had left of our parents and it's all we've known, it's our legacy, our birthright and our inheritance. We guarded it with all our hearts.

We had to kill against our will, we had to torture people in the most horrific form to keep our respect in the streets running, no one ever came near the Gonzalez family, we were literally the untouchables.

We commanded respect in the whole of Spain and beyond through fear and it always worked, no one came close while we also ran the Gonzalez group of companies by day. We had the pharmaceuticals, tech, car dealership and a marketplace for groceries

I was at the office, at the tech arm, trying to figure out a venue for our new car show. After my parents died, one of my father's wishes was to make me CEO of Gonzalez's Corporations since my older brother had to take over the mafia. The four of us, my brothers and I have learnt to live without our parents, we've learnt to be strong, we've learnt to keep their name high up and we've learnt to keep our mafia as powerful as they did.

But we will never forget what happened to them, it's always been in the back of our heads and every time I think about it, it brought rage.

"Hey, Dorathy." My eyes dart to the door, showing my best friend, Melissa. She's the only thing close to love outside my family. An immediate smile fell on my face as she walked in, a pure smile that rarely occurs. It's sad to say that no one makes me smile other than her and my brothers. Over the years, my smile has faded away for strangers, for employees, for myself.

"Hey, Lizzy."

"Still working out a venue?" She asks whilst pulling me into a hug. A frustrated sigh escaped my lips, the more I thought about it, the more it was stressing me out.

"I still don't know where to do this event. One we need a place or places where we can always hold our events and meetings, two this is one of our biggest events and if I can't find a venue, Dante will fucking kill me."

I place my hands behind the desk, leaning my body against it as we talk, "Dorathy, you will find a venue. And stop worrying about Dante because he isn't the CEO here, it's you." She gives me a warm smile, and reassuring words that seem to stop my overthinking.

"Did you find anything?" My eyes drop to her tablet, assuming that she must have researched something for me.

"Yes, I did, which is why I came here," Thank God. I knew I could count on Melissa; without her, I would be lost and clueless on where to start. "But you may not like the idea." She drags the "but" for a little longer as she speaks, my eyebrows conjoin together as she looks nervous to continue speaking.

"What do you mean, I'll not like the idea?" Normally, Melissa doesn't say something like that and now that she does, I wasn't prepared for what was to come.

"I—maybe I'll look for another one. This one doesn't look good—"

"Melissa Mendez, can hit the nail on the coffin and stop messing around now." Today wasn't a good day for her to act funny, my head was all over the place, I couldn't think straight and for some reason my chest felt tight.

"Hotel Dinero. We can book the hotel in any country they are located in." She presses her lips together, handing me her iPad for me to look at. I swipe the venue pictures, reading the description written below it. The Dineros. A rival mafia that's living in Spain. We've had a few alliances with them, but we were never really close, hell I've never even met them.

However, looking through their hotels, it doesn't look like a bad option. It was good enough to hold our conferences and events. "Call Mr Dinero, tell him that Dorathy Gonzalez wants him to have a meeting about a deal." Keen on my decision, I told Melissa what to do, hoping that i made the right decision.

"Alright, I'll do that now." She gave me a goodbye hug, leaving the room with the files i had given her.

As I got back to my desk, my phone starts pinging. It must be my brothers and their stupid group they added me to a few days ago.

Dante: Jamie fucking Gonzalez, you're in big trouble.

Shit. What was going on? Staring blankly at the message, my heart beats a little faster as I reread it repeatedly in my head.

Me: What did he do now?

Carlos: Dante is fully raged, Dora. It's better if you don't come home.

My twin brother, Carlos, responded to my message but it only terrified me more because I was sat here, clueless as to what they were talking about.

Me: That bad? are you okay?

Dante: Don't worry about it, Dorathy, I will deal with him. You don't need to come home. He's not even reading my messages.

Jamie: I'm coming home now.

Dante: Yeh, you better, you fucking idiot.

Me: Don't do anything stupid, hermano. You're going to get me worried then.

Dante: I won't, angel.

Nose scrunching in worry, I couldn't help but keep my mind on them rather than my work. In situations like this, I had to find my feminine side to keep the guys in check so they don't kill themselves. Without our parents, it's a heavy duty to make sure everyone is okay. But none of us are.