How to Survive a Breakup

1 It was already half past midnight, and I still couldn't fall asleep.

The soundproofing of this wall was terrible.

I could hear the heavy breathing of the man next door. It used to sound soothing, but now it was just irritating.

A few minutes later, I heard the sound of tissue rustling, followed by playful laughter from a man and a woman. My heart had grown so cold that I felt numb.

The man living next door was my ex-boyfriend, Neil Buckley, and the woman laughing with him was his current girlfriend, Eunice Sanderson.

As for why I was still living in this small two-bedroom apartment, it was because we broke up only 15 days ago.

Barefoot, I walked out of my bedroom into the cold hallway and lit a cigarette.

Thick smoke filled my lungs, and for a moment, I couldn't breathe, tears streaming down my face from the choking.

I stubbed out the cigarette and waited for about 15 minutes before heading back inside.

Lying in bed, I thought, perhaps this was his gift to me for our 15-day breakup anniversary.

Well, I would pick a day and send him a gift too.

Adapted from a true story: The Breakup Blues".

2 Day 20 after the breakup. At this moment, I was sitting in the waiting room of the clinic for pre-illness prevention.

Through the glass window on the door, I observed a man in a white lab coat and a face mask.

He had handsome, sharp features, nothing like the seductive type of Eunice.

He seemed cold, aloof, and almost too perfect to be the brother of that vixen.

His name was Johnny Sanderson, 29 years old, 188 cm tall, with a handsome face and a pair of beautiful hands. I was already imagining the feel of those hands roaming my back.

It was my turn, and I extended my hand for Johnny to take my pulse.

When he noticed the faint scars from a razor blade on my pale wrist, a hint of surprise flashes in his eyes.

"Lie down on the bed and take off your clothes." I blush slightly.

He averted his gaze and called in a female assistant to cover me with a blanket from the waist down before coming back to perform the treatment.

I was here for my cervical spine issue, and for the massage and electrotherapy, I had to be topless.

Blushing didn't stop me from pulling the blanket down an inch.

He must have noticed the black lace underwear I carefully chose because halfway through the treatment, he asked the assistant to pull the blanket up a little more.

The more reserved he was, the more I inwardly chuckled. Neil was right. No man could take his eyes off my back.

Every time his fingertips grazed my back, I interpreted it as a flirtation.

Maybe he was trying to maintain boundaries.

But if not today, he would have to touch me next time. There were ten treatments. He couldn't escape.

3 The treatment was over, and suddenly a downpour began.

I didn't bring an umbrella, so I stood quietly at the hospital garage's corner, waiting.

At a quarter past six, a black Benz sped past, splashing a wave of water over me.

I fell to the ground as water drenched me.

The car stopped.

Through the rain and mist, a tall figure holding a black umbrella slowly approached me, and a hand stretched out in front of me.

"Are you alright?" His voice was truly pleasant.

As nice as it sounded, I'd rather hear it in bed.

"I'm fine."

I smiled lightly and stubbornly got up on my own.

"Sorry, I didn't notice in this blind spot while driving."

He glanced at me from head to toe.

My white dress was soaked through, revealing the black lace underwear beneath the thin fabric.

"No worries. I was in a rush to hail a taxi and stood too far out."

I crossed my arms to cover the awkwardness of my drenched clothes.

He stood silent for a moment. The umbrella was tilted entirely toward me, while rainwater drips down his back, soaking a large part of his white shirt.

"Where do you live?

I'll give you a ride."

After saying that, he seemed to remember something and explained, "It's hard to find a taxi in this rain."

He was right.

"No, thank you, Dr. Sanderson. I'll wait a bit longer."

I wave my hands repeatedly.

His deep eyes locked onto me for a while, and he sighed. "When will your ride arrive?"

"There are still 22 people ahead of me." I shrugged helplessly.

"Get in the car." This time, his tone was more of a command than a question.

After that, he handed me the umbrella and walked through the rain to get the car.

In the end, I got into his car.

He remained silent throughout the ride, occasionally glancing at me in the passenger seat, but he quickly looked away to avoid any further awkwardness.

"Dr. Sanderson, may I add you on Whatsapp?"

I cautiously asked.

He paused, clearly taken aback, and glanced at me.

"I'd like to check your availability before my next treatment. It's difficult for me to request time off from work."

I explain, "If it's inconvenient, can I at least get the clinic's landline number?

I can call that instead."

"Go ahead. Add me."

After a few seconds of thought, he pulled out his phone, his long fingers tapping a few times before showing me a QR code. "The landline is broken."

"Alright."

4 After adding him on Whatsapp, I didn't message Johnny right away.

Leaving things unsaid was a silent form of seduction.

Every day, I woke up at six for work and returned to my rented apartment by nine.

At first, Neil would only occasionally bring Eunice over.

Lately, he had became more brazen.

After work, I came home to find Neil and Eunice feeding each other fruit on the couch.

The fruit fork was the one I stayed up late to buy.

I felt disgusted.

I went to my room and buried myself under the covers.

I had a dream. My parents and I were having a huge argument about my job after graduation.

They wanted me to stay in their city, but I insisted on moving to Neil's city because I was tired of four years of long-distance.

So, even in my dream, despite Dad angrily chain-smoking and Mom crying, I still dragged my suitcase out and slam the door.

I was jolted awake by a familiar, yet indescribable sound.

For a moment, I struggled to breathe.

I didn't know how to vent my emotions, so I grabbed my phone and find Johnny's account on Whatsapp.

"Dr. Sanderson, are you still awake?"

After sending the message, I glance at the time. It was midnight. I regretted it instantly.

I didn't expect a reply, but after a while, the screen lit up.

"No." I stared at that single word for half a minute, suddenly unsure of what to say.

After all, the noise next door had died down too.

After a few seconds of blankness, another message arrived. "What's the matter?"

That question stumped me. What was the matter? I just wanted to flirt with him late at night, maybe lure him to my place. But now I lost interest.

"I can't find my room key. Did you happen to see it in your car?"

I made up a random excuse.

In reality, no such thing happened.

There was no reply for a long time.

I assumed he didn't find it worth responding to, so I didn't bother waiting.

I got up and headed to the hallway, but this time, I didn't smoke.

After sitting there for 15 minutes, I stood to go back, and my phone lit up.

"I checked, and it's not in the car. I'll look again tomorrow. Are you in a rush?"

Seeing his message, I was a bit surprised. I randomly made up a lie in the middle of the night, and he actually went to check?

Such a simple man.

I didn't reply and screened off my phone.

5 The next day, I didn't pre-register for an appointment. I sat outside Johnny's office from 3:00 PM to 5:00 PM.

When Johnny saw me, there was a slight look of surprise in his eyes.

However, he had countless patients to attend to. After finishing with each one, he would glance at me, until it was finally my turn.

"My neck is hurting a lot, so I came here last minute,"

I explained with a smile.

Johnny put down the medical chart he was holding and said, "Lie down. Let me take a look." After disinfecting, he put on gloves and walked over to me.

The assistant was next to him, handing him the tools.

"No need,"

he refused her help.

As soon as he spoke, his fingers lightly touched the back of my neck,

sending a chill through my body.

"Is it cold?" he asked.

"It's alright," I replied.

"Bring the heat lamp over," he instructed the assistant.

Then, he started to gently massage my neck. As he massaged, he asked, "Does it hurt?" I responded in a tearful tone, "Yes, it hurts." He kept lightening his pressure.

What was supposed to be a one-hour treatment ended up taking two hours, and the nurse was getting impatient by the time we were done.

To be honest, it didn't hurt at all, and I even fell asleep during the massage.

After it was over, Johnny got up to clean up and prepare to leave for the day.

I also finished getting dressed and walked up to him. "Is there anything else?" he asked while taking off his white coat.

"Dr. Sanderson, could I catch a ride with you to the subway station?" I asked quietly.

He hesitated for a moment, staring at me for a while, then finally said, "Alright."

6 Johnny didn't just drop me off at the subway station. Instead, he drove me all the way to my apartment complex.

I pretended not to notice, silently accepting his kindness.

It was interesting that he remembered my address.

By the time we arrived, it was already dark.

The darkness was a good thing. Many of the desires suppressed during the day could now grow freely.

"Dr. Sanderson, I'm really sorry for taking up so much of your time today. You must be hungry by now. If you don't mind, I'd love to invite you upstairs for some noodles," I said with sincere politeness, sounding as if I had no hidden agenda.

As adults, we both knew that inviting a strange man to your home at night was an obvious signal for further development.

Johnny was a normal man, and if he wasn't interested, he would have immediately declined.

But instead, he looked at me with those deep eyes for a few moments. His profile in the dark was striking, with a high nose bridge and a perfectly sculpted jawline, which charmed me.

Johnny was far more handsome than Neil by several degrees, and my vanity whispered to me that if I could win Johnny over, it would make Neil utterly humiliated.

Johnny seemed to be weighing his options in the dark. Finally, his slender fingers turned the car key, pulled it out, and casually grabbed a bag from the seat.

"Let's go," he said, still expressionless.

But my heart skipped a beat.

Things were progressing too smoothly, leaving me with an odd feeling.

I smiled and led the way.

The sound of his polished leather shoes echoed in the run-down stairwell, which made me feel somewhat embarrassed.

"We're on the 7th floor. You probably haven't climbed such a high staircase before, right? The lights are a bit faulty, but I'll use my phone flashlight to guide you,"

I turned on the flashlight on my phone to give him light.

Someone like him had probably never lived in such a shabby building, which explained why he glanced at the random advertisements on the walls as we ascended.

"No need. I'm fine.

Just guide yourself," he said in a calm tone, glancing down at my high heels with a slightly concerned look.

I laughed. "I don't even need a flashlight usually. I could walk this with my eyes closed." I pretended to be relaxed to lighten the mood.

The moment I finished speaking, I stumbled, nearly falling toward him.

"Careful," he said.

In the next second, I found myself in his arms.

His chest was warm, and there was a faint scent of jasmine mixed with the sterile smell of disinfectant. It was a clean, youthful fragrance.

For a moment, I felt captivated.

When the atmosphere was right, it was easy to get carried away by the moment.

All it would take is for me to tilt my head slightly, and I could kiss his lips.

But instead, he gently steadied me and then took a step back.

"Are you alright?" he asked. "I'm fine."

"Can you still walk?" "Yes."

After this brief exchange, I realized he probably didn't want to linger here. People like him, with wealth, wouldn't want to be caught in a place like this.

Feeling a bit disappointed, I led him the rest of the way upstairs.

7 When we got home, Neil hadn't returned yet.

That was good.

I hadn't expected things to move so fast, and I hadn't really thought about how I would escalate the situation.

As soon as Johnny entered, his eyes immediately landed on a pair of men's slippers at the entrance.

"They belong to my roommate's boyfriend," I explained.

"He comes over often?" Johnny asked, frowning slightly.

"More or less," I lied with ease.

He pressed his lips together, scanning the room before asking which one was mine.

Not even bothering with dinner first?

Feeling nervous, I pointed it out to him, then suddenly remembered something important. I told him to sit down and quickly slipped into Neil's room.

I needed contraceptives, but I didn't have any in my room, so I had to get some from Neil's.

They weren't really Neil's. They were freebies that came with the bouquet of roses he'd bought me on Valentine's Day.

Johnny's unexpected demeanor had caught me off guard. I hadn't had sex with Neil in months.

We hadn't shared a bed for a long time. Our relationship had been filled with fights, yelling, smashing things, and eventually, a breakup.

I only grabbed one condom. Seeing how few were left in the box made me feel a sharp pang.

Suddenly, it was as if all my energy had been drained, and I sat down on the bed, reflecting on this matter.

I was weighing my options, feeling torn and uncertain.

If I took this step today, Neil and I would be done for good.

Then again, he had already crossed that line long ago.

I remembered back in my freshman year, when Neil knelt down on one knee with a bouquet of roses under my dorm, asking me to be his girlfriend.

Ironically, last month, when we broke up, he knelt down again, asking me to set him free. He said being with me was too painful, too suffocating, and he didn't want to continue anymore.

He used to say, "Don't be upset, babe. My heart aches."

Now he said, "Stop it. I've had enough. You're suffocating me. We're not right for each other."

Even up until the breakup, I thought it was all my fault.

I thought I shouldn't have put so much pressure on him, shouldn't have been so dependent on him. I should have given him more freedom.

So I tried to give him that freedom, and he took it right to the point where he brought another girl home.

Wasn't that laughable?

Later, on all those passionate nights they spent together, I would be holding my phone, searching every social media platform for information about that girl. Finally, I found a sweet photo of them on Twitter.

And the most ridiculous part was that picture was taken a year ago.

Thinking about this made my scalp tingle with anger. I grabbed one more condom from the box and walked out of the room.

As I stepped out of the room, I saw Johnny crouching halfway down.

When I got closer, I realized he was changing the lock.

I was shocked.

"I didn't realize your door was in this condition. I'm putting this one on for now, but I'll come back another day and get a proper one," he said, looking up at me as I approached.

For a moment, I didn't know what to say, so I quickly hid the condoms I was holding behind my back.

"That's not necessary. This one is just fine," I forced a smile, though I knew how awkward and strained it must have looked.

"Dr. Sanderson, I don't really need to get back the key I lost in your car. You didn't have to go out of your way to replace the lock."

He kept his head down and didn't respond. Instead, he quietly packed his tools and the packaging into the bag he had brought from the car.

"When you sleep at night, lock the door from inside." "Okay."

"Alright then, I'll be going," he said with a smile, lifting the bag in his hand before turning to leave.

It took me a second to react, but I quickly rushed to the door and called out to him, "Dr. Sanderson, you haven't had the noodles yet."

He paused for a moment as he descended the stairs, turned back, and gave me a wave. "No need," he said.

Without hesitation, he walked downstairs.

At that moment, I stood at the doorway, clutching the condoms in my hand. I felt utterly ashamed of myself.