My Stubborn Luna

I woke with a start. My sweaty sheets were twisted around my waist as I gasped for breath in the early morning air. It was the same thing every time. The same nightmare had haunted me since I was a little girl.

The death of my mother.

Swinging my feet to the floor, I grabbed my glass of water from my nightstand and took a drink to quench my throat. The early morning sunshine brightened my room enough that I didn't turn on my light.

I rubbed my eyes with the heels of my palms and stared at my closed bedroom door. The sound of the pack rising and bustling around downstairs made me smile. I'd grown up in this pack. My father-the alpha-had too.

The floor was cool against my feet. The smell of breakfast from the dining hall made my stomach grumble. Snagging the clothes I laid out for myself, a T-shirt and jeans, I walked toward my bathroom and shut the door.

The person staring back at me looked more like my mother each day. Bright blue eyes and chestnut-colored hair. It was a constant reminder of her death. The missing person in our lives.

I turned on the shower and stepped into the warmth. My father requested I meet him this morning for breakfast in his office, which was rare. We normally ate with everyone in the dining hall.

Knots of excitement danced in my stomach. I'd completed my four years at our local university last week, per his request, and I was sure he wanted to speak about my place in the pack. About my ambition to become a warrior.

Female warriors weren't allowed. They were the midwives, cooks, and gardeners. They only fought if our pack was ambushed, which was how my mother died. The feeling of dread from that night slunk down my spine like a snake.

She'd been cooking us dinner when the sirens rang out. I'd never forget her dropping her spatula and her blue gaze turning toward mine. She hid me in the kitchen pantry moments before our house was attacked.

I listened, shivering and crying, while they killed her mere feet from me. I stayed there for hours, too afraid to walk outside and face reality. Being six, I couldn't have fought off a grown wolf.

However, when my father opened the door and pulled me into his arms, I knew. I knew by the shaking of his body, and the smell of his sorrow that mother was gone. I vowed that day, I would do anything to learn to fight.

I would protect the pack that my mother died protecting. If we were ambushed again, I would be amongst the wolves that avenged our pack. No matter what. And when my father finally found the rogue pack that killed her, I would rip their throats out one by one.

My father stood behind me through the years. He promised I would have a chance to train as a warrior when I completed my degree.

The time had come. My wolf was excited as I finished my shower, got dressed, and walked down the hallway toward my father's office.

The door was cracked, but I knocked nonetheless.

"Come in."

I slipped into the room, his spice and pine scent hit me square in the chest. "Good morning," I said, noticing our breakfast sat on his desk.

His dark gaze shifted toward mine, and he smiled. His salt-n-pepper hair was disheveled which was off. He looked as if he hadn't slept in days.

"Everything okay?" I asked, grabbing a chair and dragging it over to his desk.

"Yeah, yeah," he said, looking down at his plate. "I know you don't like coffee. I had the cooks make some hot chocolate for you."

I lifted a brow. "It's ninety-eight degrees today, Dad. Are you okay?"

He chuckled but did not give me an answer. I felt something was off, but I couldn't put my finger on it. I sipped the goodness, despite the summer-time heat, and began on my omelet.

"So," I said. "What did you want to talk about?"

Dad cleared his throat. "Do you have any plans today?" he asked. "Have you heard from the university about graduation yet?"

Oh, a smooth dodge at my question. Something was definitely wrong here.

"Sometime next month," I mumbled, placing my silverware down. "Can you please tell me what's-"

Someone knocked on the door, and I stopped talking to allow him time to answer it. He walked over, and I instantly noticed Keith, Dad's Beta, at the door. "-he'll be here soon, Sir. I just got off the phone with him."

"Give me ten minutes. I need to speak with Willow before he meets her."

"Yes, Sir."

Dad shut the door and scratched his head on his walk back to his desk. "Who's coming today?" I asked.

Dad sighed and closed his eyes.

I waited, feeling more and more anxious as the seconds passed. "You're scaring me, Dad-"

"I'm stepping down as alpha, Willow."

I blinked several times, my breath suddenly dancing just out of reach. Why would he step down so suddenly? Right when I graduated, and he promised I could become a warrior.

"What-why? I don't understand. It's so sudden. I thought we were going to train together. What about you bending the rules and letting me try out to become a warrior?"

The sadness in Dad's eyes hit me harder than his stepping down. He reached across the table and took my shaking hands in his palms. "Baby Girl. I know your mother's death was hard on you. It's been hard on me. Until the last couple of years, I've searched for the rogue pack that attacked us that night. It's worn me down, Willow. I can't continue to harbor this hate. They're gone. Your mother is gone. And I have to tell you the truth now. I don't want you to become a warrior-"

Everything coming out of my dad's mouth felt like stabs to my chest. His mouth continued to move, but I couldn't make out the words. He didn't want me to become a warrior? I'd snuck around for years practicing with Derick, my best friend and leader of our warrior pack.

For what? For nothing?

And when had Dad decided to give up the hunt for Mom's killer? No one had been looking for over two years? My entire world was tilting upside down.

"-Dad," I said, slicing through his words. "I have to become a warrior. I have to protect the pack if we're attacked. You promised I could learn to fight. Look what happened to Mom-"

"Exactly, Willow. Exactly. Look what happened to your mother. If I send you out to defend our pack, it'll happen to you. What happened to your mother was an act of god. It was a one-in-a-million thing. If you are on the pack's warrior team, it will happen to you. I can't lose you, too. You're all that I have left."

I pulled my hands from his and placed them in my lap. My body was turning cold and distant. My entire life, I'd planned to fight. Why would he do this to me? "I can do it," I said, nodding, meeting his desperate gaze. "I can learn to fight. I've been working with Derrick for years. You can ask him. I'm good. You have to let me. Who is going to take your spot? Are you appointing someone? Is that who is coming today?"

Dad retracted his hands and stood slowly. "When I went to the alpha meeting last month for the region, I picked out a young, strong alpha that I think will be good for our pack. He's a warrior. He's fought in many wars. He is a good replacement. It's time to stop letting the guilt eat at me. I want to step down and let someone else take over, Willow. I'm tired-"

"He won't let me train," I said with a dry mouth. The reality was sinking into my veins. "You know that. You know it's against the rules for females to fight. You did this on purpose!" I shouted.

I stood up swiftly. My fight or flight took over. I wanted to scratch my own father's eyes out. "I dream of mother's death almost every night. I'm reminded that I let her die because I was weak. I don't want to be weak anymore. Let me train. Tell him to let me train-"

Another knock came on the door. Father's heavy footsteps thumped in my mind as he walked over and opened it.

The smell that wafted in hit me square in between my legs. I knew that smell. It was the smell of my mate.

My gaze shifted toward the door where my father welcomed someone. The someone who would seal my fate. He'd drill the final hole into the coffin of my dreams.

Those dark hazel eyes shifted to mine, ignoring my father's words as he stared at me. He was gorgeous. Tall. Handsome. Dirty-blond hair and a smooth, strong jaw. His fingers were twitching against his thighs as if he wanted to walk over and claim me right then and there.

Those thick lips opened, but I didn't wait around for 'mate' to come from them. Despite my wolf's pleading to run to him, I didn't. I couldn't. My pride wouldn't allow it. I walked toward the stained-glass windows in my father's office, pushed them open, and jumped out.