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Meet You at Dawn

Meet You at Dawn

Zhihu Select

5.0
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On the day of the Qixi Festival, my boyfriend jumped from the twenty-seventh floor and landed in a bloodied mess. A chilling scream startled the motion sensor lights of several nearby buildings. As a police officer, Shen Chuan squatted in front of me, asking about the incident. His gaze was sharp, and there was an almost cold-blooded rationality in his tone as he asked, "Where were you at the time of the incident?"

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

[1]

1

[2]

On the day of the Chinese Valentine's Day, my boyfriend leapt from the twenty-seventh floor, leaving a gruesome scene behind.

[3]

The piercing screams triggered the sensor lights in the nearby buildings.

[4]

Jerred, being a police officer, crouched in front of me, questioning the events with a sharp gaze and a tone that was almost chillingly rational. "Where were you when it happened?" he asked.

[5]

"Where were you when it happened?" he asked.

[6]

I was so terrified that sat on the floor,shirtless,shaking unceasingly, like a fish out of water,desperately gasping for air/

[7]

After a moment, he calmly repeated,

[8]

Miss Gilbert, where were you when it happened?"

[9]

I squeezed the sticky feeling between my throat and let out a dry hoarse voice

[10]

:"I was sleeping."

[11]

"The balcony is connected to the bedroom.

[12]

Do not you know he jumped from the balcony?"

[13]

"I was sleeping,

[14]

I didn't know anything."

[15]

"The neighbors said they had heard a heated argument about two hours before the incident.

[16]

Is that true?"

[17]

"Yes."

[18]

es."

[19]

"Wh

[20]

y?"

[21]

That word "why" ignited the remnants of my sanity. I lifted my head, glaring fiercely at the man in uniform with deep-set eyes

[22]

A surge of hatred, filled with a resolve to go down together, swirled within me as I shouted at him, "Because he was a fool, a coward, a scoundrel! He knocked up a colleague, embezzled funds, and disgraced himself completely, so he jumped. Do you understand?

[23]

If you still suspect me,

[24]

I can die too"

[25]

He looked at me quietly, like searching for flaws in my words.

[26]

"You

[27]

..."

[28]

Before he could finish, I scrambled to my feet, hunching over as I rushed toward the wall with a death-defying determination.

[29]

A figure moved faster than me, blocking me in front of the wall.

[30]

My head punched his stomach heavily .

[31]

It so hurt but he might be more hurt. I think.

[32]

"Eileen, calm down," Jerred said, gripping my shoulders firmly, his voice laced with restrained pain.

[33]

gripping my shoulders firmly, his voice laced with restrained pain.

[34]

I stared blankly at him, and in that moment when our eyes met, a wave of sorrow, stronger and deeper than hatred, washed over me.

[35]

"Thank you,"

[36]

I sat paralyzed, struggling to make a sound.

[37]

He said nothing.

[38]

I clutched my arm and burst into tears, like a raving lunatic.

[39]

After examining the scene, policemen include Jerred took me back to the police station for further questioning.

[40]

They didn't allow me to leave until 3 hours later.

[41]

The questioning was essentially listening to me curse my ex for three hours.

[42]

I could never get over the fact a man uses his death to escape his mistakes, leaving the pain to his living relatives.

[43]

It angered me more than his infidelity.

[44]

As I reached the police station's entrance, Jerred caught up with me. He must not have rest for a long time, there was a large dark circle around his eyes, but it did not affect his righteous demeanor in the least. His back was still held upright with a strong spirit, standing tall like a pine tree.

[45]

"I'll take you to a nearby hotel to rest for the night,"

[46]

he offered, his tone no longer as stern as during the interrogation. His calm voice inexplicably reassured me.

[47]

Thinking of the mangled body, I accepted his kindness without hesitation.

[48]

"Thank you."

[49]

you."

[50]

As we parted at the hotel gate, he suddenly bent down, staring intently into my eyes.

[51]

"Don't entertain thoughts of ending your life again."

[52]

"I haven't met a good man yet. I'm not willing to die," I replied, flipping my hair and walking boldly to the hotel, feigning nonchalance and tragedy.

[53]

I replied.

[54]

I tossed my hair back and strode towards the hotel, trying to appear both nonchalant yet with a touch of melancholy.

[55]

2

[56]

A week later, Brad's case was officially ruled a suicide after going through legal procedures.

[57]

However, Brad's mother refused to accept the truth that her son had taken his own life and still suspected me as the murderer, dragging me to the police station to argue.

[58]

She pulled my hair, accusing me of having a heart of stone and driving her son to die in the police station lobby.

[59]

I was furious and pushed and shoved with her.

[60]

Jerred arrived to separate us.

[61]

At that moment, I was disheveled, barefoot, and standing on the ground,

[62]

while Jerred, in his crisp uniform, stood tall and dignified beside me, making my plight even more apparent.

[63]

"What happened?"

[64]

he asked.

[65]

"She killed my son," Brad's mother screamed, pointing at me.

[66]

Brad's mother screamed, pointing at me.

[67]

I clasped my arms and sneered, "That was retribution on his part, so you dared to bully me,

[68]

why don't you dare to go to the woman who got knocked up by your son and make a scene?

[69]

I handed over all my savings to Brad's parents, and lost my job by them.

[70]

What more did they want? Did they want me to pay with my life for their son?

[71]

Brad's mother trembled with rage, her swollen eyes glaring at me. "Look at your sharp tongue. If it weren't for your provocation, would my son have been driven to jump?"

[72]

"Look at your mean face. If you hadn't provoked him, would my son have thought twice about jumping off a building?

[73]

I just wanted say something,Jerred stopped me.

[74]

He leaned in and whispered,

[75]

"Don't provoke her. Leave it to me."

[76]

I grabbed my hair irritable

[77]

Brad, the scum of the earth, is irresponsible himself, and a death is a complete relief.

[78]

Instead, I'm going to live in his shadow for the rest of my life, talked about, second-guessed, and tormented by my own guilt and fear.

[79]

"I'm just as aggrieved as his mother is,"

[80]

I choked out, looking up at Jerred.

[81]

The day Brad died, I did revile him.

[82]

When I found out he betray on me and still expected me to help him out, I lashed out, venting my anger on his entire family.

[83]

But was I wrong?

[84]

Faced with such a man, was I supposed to comfort him kindly?

[85]

Telling him he just made a mistake that all men will make?

[86]

I couldn't do it!

[87]

It's a mercy I didn't hit him.

[88]

He said if I abandoned him, he'd die.

[89]

But such a horrible man, shouldn't I break up ?

[90]

I didn't think he'd jump just as I was falling asleep.

[91]

How much better was I when that scene of blood and flesh haunted me every moment?

[92]

Jerred's eyes softened, and he patted my shoulder. "Wait for me next door."

[93]

and he patted my shoulder. "Wait for me next door."

[94]

I wiped my tears fiercely and walked away, trying to leave a bold and decisive impression.

[95]

But after a few steps, my shoulders slumped, and I had no energy left to put on a brave front.

[96]

About an hour later, Jerred came to find me.

[97]

I looked behind him and breathed a sigh of relief

[98]

Facing the mother who lost her son, I felt guilty, but I couldn't say anything to apologize.

[99]

"It's over. Don't dwell on it.

[100]

Legally, you're not guilty of any crime against Brad,"

[101]

sitting across from me, his elbows resting on the armrests,

[102]

leaning slightly forward. His tone was much softer than before.

[103]

"Thank you,"

[104]

I murmured, my head bowed.

[105]

Leaving the police station, I felt conflicted, unsure of where to go, and sat dazed at the nearby bus stop.

[106]

The sky began to drizzle, the rain gradually intensifying.

[107]

After some time, a black SUV stopped in front of me, the window rolling down to reveal a chiseled face.

[108]

It was Jerred.

[109]

He had changed out of his uniform, wearing a black shirt that accentuated his tall frame and sharp shoulders.

[110]

Through the rain, I couldn't see his expression clearly, but his deep, magnetic voice cut through the noise of the rain. "Where are you going?

[111]

I'll

[112]

take you."

[113]

I stared at him blankly, tears streaming down my face before I could speak.

[114]

"I don't know "

[115]

where to go."

[116]

3

[117]

Perhaps seeing how pitiful I was, Jerred offered to take me out for a meal.

[118]

I, without much resistance, agreed.

[119]

After Brad's death, I didn't dare go home, meet friends, talk about it, or even be alone in a quiet place. I broke down countless times.

[120]

Jerred's identity and presence gave me immense security, something I couldn't refuse.

[121]

I even hoped he could be by my side all the time.

[122]

For dinner, we had hot pot, a boiling pot with a constant steamy white mist, a red broth that tumbled and smelled delicious.

[123]

After several failed attempts to find a topic of conversation, we both fell silent

[124]

The atmosphere starkly contrasted with the lively excitement at the next table.

[125]

I couldn't think of any other way to put off spending a little more time together other than shoveling food into my mouth one way or another.

[126]

I didn't put down my chopsticks until I finally couldn't eat any more and opened my mouth again to spit it out.

[127]

After dinner, Jerred drove me home. When we reached my building, he looked up at my balcony.

[128]

"Have · you · thought · about · moving?"

[129]

"Why should I move?"

[130]

I retorted angrily. "Moving would just show them I'm weak-minded?."

[131]

He looked down at me, his gaze deep. After a moment, he concluded, "You're fighting with yourself."

[132]

After a moment, he concluded, "You're fighting with yourself."

[133]

I paused for a couple of seconds,

[134]

then snapped,

[135]

"that's none of your business'!"

[136]

Feeling guilty after snapping, I was about to run when Jerred slightly shifted to block my path.

[137]

"Let's exchange contacts."

[138]

He took out his phone, opened the social Whatsapp QR code, and held it out to me, his gaze calm and steady.

[139]

Perhaps he was too open and natural for me to blaspheme in the slightest

[140]

I quickly took out my phone, scanned the code in one go,

[141]

added him as a friend, and carefully noted him as "Mr. Williams ."

[142]

He nodded with satisfaction,

[143]

"If you're ever in trouble, just let me know."

[144]

I pressed my lips together, not speaking, but thought to myself, can't I reach out if there's no trouble?

[145]

"I suggest you date a psychologist,"

[146]

he added.

[147]

I nodded quickly, then shook my head.

[148]

There's no point in seeing a psychologist; isn't everything something you have to endure on your own?

[149]

I replied in my mind.

[150]

It wasn't that I was introverted; I just had no interest in speaking at that moment.

[151]

But I didn't expect that in Jerred's eyes, my condition was so severe that early the next morning, he came to drag me to a psychological clinic.

[152]

"I'm not sick."

[153]

After a sleepless night, my voice was weak and soft, and just walking out of the bedroom to open the door left me feeling exhausted.

[154]

He stood at the door, dressed in black, one hand in his pocket, scrutinizing me with a furrowed brow.

[155]

After a moment, he commanded, "Go wash up and get ready to go out.

[156]

A sudden surge of anger welled up inside me, and as if I had lost my mind, I grabbed a cup from beside me and hurled it at him. "I'm not sick, you're the one who needs help!

[157]

I grabbed a cup from beside me and hurled it at him. "I'm not sick, you're the one who needs help! you're all sick!

[158]

He sidestepped, and the cup crashed to the ground, shattering into pieces.

[159]

I glared at him, my expression fierce.

[160]

He didn't speak, nor did he show any sign of blame, just quietly met my gaze,

[161]

like calming a stubborn child, with immense patience.

[162]

After a long while, he extended his hand to me,

[163]

"Be good."

[164]

I conceded, my hostility fading in his calm gaze.

[165]

Failure, irritability, anger, sensitivity... I had nothing to argue about.

[166]

I had nothing to argue about.

[167]

So, I resignedly followed Jerred to the psychological clinic. After talking with the psychologist, the doctor suggested I talk more with friends and maintain contact with the outside world.

[168]

I was greatly disappointed with this outcome and complained to Jerred as we left, "Spending money here for some platitudes, I might as well read some self-help books.

[169]

Not to mention I have no desire to confide in anyone, and even if I did, I don't have anyone to confide in.

[170]

Everyone I know just wants to dig up gossip or hear my sob stories;

[171]

and those I don't know, why should I bother?

[172]

You can talk to me," Jerred said after a moment of silence.

[173]

Jerred said after a moment of silence.

[174]

" But I'm not very good at chatting, and I'm usually busy, so my replies might be late."

[175]

An unaccountable ecstasy came up like a tidal wave, and I suddenly wanted to laugh and cry, with mixed and intense emotions.

[176]

Someone was willing to lend me a hand, so I couldn't give up.

[177]

Since then, I've been pestering Jerred every day, sharing all sorts of trivial daily things, good songs, and good movies with him.

[178]

Even though his replies were late and dull, I found it all very enjoyable.

[179]

Because I knew he would respond eventually, and my waiting wouldn't be in vain.

[180]

I liked this feeling.

[181]

".Mr. Williams, are you single?"

[182]

One late night, I impulsively sent him a message.

[183]

A few minutes later, I regretted it.

[184]

Because I'm not sure of my motivation, is it need, or yearning, or is it just empty loneliness?

[185]

"Never mind, you don't have to answer," I sent another message.

[186]

I sent another message.

[187]

This time he replied quickly,

[188]

"I don't believe in marriage."

[189]

4

[190]

I found a new job and was preparing to move into a new apartment. Just when I thought everything was gradually getting better, Brad's mother reappeared in my life.

[191]

"How can you live so well?

[192]

My son is dead,

[193]

why should you live so comfortably?"

[194]

One morning, as I was heading downstairs to go to work, she suddenly appeared, glaring at me as if she wanted to skin me alive.

[195]

"Ma'am, how do you expect me to live, like you?"

[196]

I shot back defiantly, "This kind of thing isn't about whoever is pitiful,

[197]

refusing to let go you keep harassing my life and I'll call the police.

[198]

I tried to walk past her, but she grabbed my arm tightly and do not let me go.

[199]

During the struggle, she suddenly fainted, scaring me into immediately dialing 120.

[200]

While paying the hospital fees, I was contemplating whether to call Jerred for help, fearing what might happen if I had to face Brad's father alone. Suddenly, I bumped into someone.

[201]

Before I could apologize, a familiar voice sounded above me,

[202]

"Eileen, what are you doing here?"

[203]

Looking up, I saw it was Jerred, one arm in a cast and the other holding an IV stand, looking a bit pitiful.

[204]

The invincible image I had of him suddenly seemed much more down-to-earth.

[205]

"What happened

[206]

to you?"

[207]

He looked a bit anxious, "Injured on a mission.

[208]

I need to use the restroom first, I'll explain later."

[209]

With that, he hurried off, clearly in a rush.

[210]

I followed him, "How do you get your pants off here?

[211]

Let me help you."

[212]

help you."

[213]

Such a straightforward offer startled him into running even faster.

[214]

At the restroom door, I caught up with him, "If you're nervous, just close your eyes.

[215]

It'll be quick."

[216]

He didn't dare move a muscle, the tips of his ears red

[217]

I was nervous too, my hands shaking uncontrollably. Seeing people gathering around to watch, I hurried my actions.

[218]

As soon as the belt was undone, both Jerred and I breathed a sigh of relief.

[219]

"You can handle the zipper yourself,"

[220]

I said, quickly slipping away.

[221]

Not long after, I reluctantly returned. Having undone his belt, I felt obligated to help fasten it back.

[222]

Jerred emerged from the restroom, his belt already fastened.

[223]

I was slightly surprised,

[224]

"Did you get someone else to help you?"

[225]

His face turned a shade of embarrassment, swallowing before he looked at the IV stand and replied, "I asked someone to hold the stand."

[226]

"I asked someone to hold the stand."

[227]

I suddenly understood; so that's how it was.

[228]

Why hadn't he thought of that earlier?

[229]

"Why are you at the hospital?"

[230]

he asked.

[231]

I remembered and quickly said, "Brad's mom suddenly fainted, and I brought her to the hospital.

[232]

You have to help me;

[233]

I'm afraid she'll use this as an excuse to cause trouble."

[234]

Jerred raised an eyebrow,

[235]

"Why did you send her to the hospital when you were so scared?

[236]

I didn't reply, lowering my gaze, feeling conflicted.

[237]

If I didn't bring her to the hospital and something happened, I'd have even more trouble explaining.

[238]

"Let's go,"

[239]

Jerred said.

[240]

I quickly and eagerly took his IV stand, leading the way.

[241]

When we reached the emergency room, he suddenly called out to me, "Eileen, kindness isn't a mistake

[242]

Don't doubt yourself because of others' wrongdoings."

[243]

"Mr. Williams, your advice is really quite ordinary," .

[244]

I laughed.

[245]

Jerred laughed too, looking in good spirits, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

[246]

Suddenly, someone stumbled out of the ward, about to bump into me. Jerred quickly pulled me aside.

[247]

"It's you two?"

[248]

It was Brad's mom, her face pale and her tone acerbic, "When did you hook up?"

[249]

Eileen, did you cuckold my son?

[250]

No wonder he couldn't take it anymore,

[251]

you shameless slut."

[252]

Pointing at Jerred, she shouted to the gathering patients, "This pair of adulterers killed my son!

[253]

Do you know what this man does?

[254]

He's a..."

[255]

a..."

[256]

I almost subconsciously rushed to jerred "s body

[257]

I opened my arms to protect him like a chicken cub, "I advise you to speak kindly. Don't push me to expose your son's dirty deeds online.

[258]

by then your son can really have no good reputation left at all."

[259]

To honor the deceased is crucial, and unless absolutely necessary, I don't want to resort to such measures. But I can't allow anyone to tarnish Jerred or me. In other word I can't stand by while someone sullies Jerred's name.

[260]

Brad's mother fell silent instantly, staring daggers at me.

[261]

I stretched my neck and looked straight at her, refusing to give in to any semblance of softness.

[262]

Behind me, Jerred spoke softly, "Thank you."

[263]

"Thank you."

[264]

I've always been the one to thank Jerred,for he helped me in down..

[265]

It was finally his turn to thank me and I was so excited I wanted to cry.

[266]

Maybe, to him, I finally had some value.

[267]

"Eileen, I can't accept your kindness.

[268]

Just you wait," Brad's mother said, ignoring the doctors and nurses trying to stop her, insisting on leaving the hospital.

[269]

I attempted to reach Brad's father, but there was no answer.

[270]

Unable to connect any of Brad's mother's family, we had no choice but to let her go.

[271]

After following Brad's mother into a taxi, I returned to the hospital to accompany Jerred during his IV treatment.

[272]

"You're doing well lately,"

[273]

Jerred said.

[274]

I forced a bitter smile. "Of course, I have to take care of my emotions and health.

[275]

Otherwise, wouldn't those who hurt me have succeeded?"

[276]

Jerred tilted his head to look at me, the stark white light from the ceiling reflecting in his clear eyes, creating gentle ripples.

[277]

"Not bad,"

[278]

he said softly after a moment.

[279]

Two simple words inexplicably made my heart beat faster,

[280]

and I quickly turned my head and, as if compelled by an unseen force, I blurted out, "The air in this hospital is really nice."

[281]

5

[282]

Three days later, Brad's mother passed away.

[283]

I suffered from severe insomnia, relying on medication to sleep, completely unaware of what happened after I fell asleep.

[284]

That morning, when I opened the door, I was greeted by the sight of a pair of legs dangling in mid-air, just a few centimeters from my face.

[285]

A lone red plastic stool lay overturned on the ground.

[286]

In an instant, I was terrified, retreating to a corner, unable to make a sound, my throat constricted, with the relentless pounding of my heart echoing in my ears.

[287]

It took a while before I regained my senses, trembling as I took out my phone to call Jerred.

[288]

His voice came through the receiver, calm and steady as usual,

[289]

"What's wrong"

[290]

I took a deep breath, pinching my thigh to force myself to explain the situation clearly.

[291]

"Don't be afraid, stay there, I'm coming right over,"

[292]

he · said, · a · rustling · sound · in · the · background. · "Don't · hang · up, · wait · for · me."

[293]

The fear and panic that had been lodged in my chest found an outlet and began to slowly dissipate.

[294]

I nodded, realizing he couldn't see me, and quickly said, "Okay, I'll wait for you."

[295]

Before long,

[296]

the sound of police sirens echoed from downstairs.

[297]

Jerred was the first to rush up, wearing his police uniform, his expression composed, his right hand in a cast.

[298]

He stepped around the body and crouched in front of me, pulling me into his arms,

[299]

his hand resting on my head, his voice soft and gentle, "It's okay now."

[300]

All my rationality crumbled. I clung to his waist, turning my suppressed fear into loud sobs, smearing tears and snot on his chest.

[301]

Just like the day something happened to Brad, I was taken to the police station again. The only difference was that Jerred wasn't the one questioning me this time. The process was otherwise the same.

[302]

I didn't know why Brad's mother died or why she died at my doorstep.

[303]

This time, the questioning was shorter, perhaps because the signs of suicide were more apparent.

[304]

When I came out, Jerred was waiting at the door. He was in uniform, holding his police cap in his hand, standing tall and looking every bit the righteous officer.

[305]

As soon as he saw me, his stern expression softened a bit. He reached out and ruffled my hair,

[306]

"It's okay now."

[307]

I looked up at him blankly, tears welling up in my eyes.

[308]

"Do you believe me?"

[309]

I asked after a while.

[310]

"Police work relies on evidence, not personal bias," he said,

[311]

his gaze unwavering and straightforward.

[312]

I understood, but I also felt wronged, tears uncontrollably streaming down my face.

[313]

He frowned slightly, opened his mouth as if to say something, but in the end, he said nothing, simply handing me a pack of tissues.

[314]

I refused to take it, walking past him in a huff.

[315]

Suddenly, a heart-wrenching roar erupted behind me,

[316]

"Eileen, give me back my wife and child! I won't let you get away with this!"

[317]

I stopped in my tracks, the fear I had been suppressing breaking through my defenses, sweeping into the depths of my soul.

[318]

Isn't it?Two lives.

[319]

How did I become burdened with the weight of two lives?

[320]

What unforgivable thing did I do?

[321]

The sudden confusion made my expression blank. Turning around, I saw Brad's father, eyes bloodshot, glaring at me like an exposed lion, radiating hatred.

[322]

If not for the two officers holding him back, he might have rushed over to tear me apart.

[323]

"Eileen, I'll kill you,"

[324]

he said hideously.

[325]

Images of Brad and his mother smiling and waving at me flashed through my mind. My legs buckled, and I sank to the floor, my chest heaving, every pore exuding coldness.

[326]

Footsteps approached from afar.

[327]

Jerred stopped in front of me, wrapped an arm around my shoulders, and helped me up, supporting most of my weight.

[328]

I caught the clean, reassuring scent of his freshly laundered uniform, his arms strong and secure.

[329]

Under his towering presence, I felt like I had a place to hide. On impulse, I buried my head in his chest, clinging tightly to his waist.

[330]

His breath hitched for a moment, then he held me close as we walked forward.

[331]

"I'll take you home. Don't be afraid of anything."

[332]

Behind us, Brad's father's curses grew louder and louder. Suddenly, his tone changed, filled with a strange excitement.

[333]

"You must be colluding with the authorities to murder my wife and son. I'll report you!"

[334]

I'll report you!"

[335]

By the time we left the police station, the weather had cleared up. As I stepped into the sunlight, a sudden calm washed over me.

[336]

"I must live my life to the fullest. I have done nothing wrong.

[337]

As long as I don't care about morality, no one can morally kidnap me.

[338]

"Eileen, stay strong," Jerred said, patting my shoulder with his left hand, his features striking in the bright light.

[339]

patting my shoulder with his left hand, his features striking in the bright light.

[340]

On the way home, we sat quietly in the back of the taxi, neither of us speaking.

[341]

The scenery outside the window kept retreating, the city as bustling and lively as ever.

[342]

I leaned my head against the window, tears falling uncontrollably.

[343]

When the taxi stopped downstairs, I clenched my fists, summoning the courage to make a swift exit, afraid that if I hesitated, my courage would falter.

[344]

"Eileen."

[345]

he said

[346]

Just as I was about to go upstairs, a deep, pleasant voice called out from behind.

[347]

Tears welled up again. I turned slowly and saw Jerred standing straight in the sunlight, his eyes shimmered with a bright, watery sheen.

[348]

He hesitated for a moment, then said seriously,

[349]

The place you're staying isn't safe. I'll find you somewhere else to live."

[350]

The weight on my heart suddenly lightened a bit, a ray of light breaking through.

[351]

I crouched down, hugging my knees, and cried out loud.

[352]

Jerred stood in front of me, draping his jacket over my head, shielding me completely in darkness.

[353]

After crying until I was exhausted, Jerred helped me upstairs to pack my things, then took me to a taxi.

[354]

Throughout the journey, I was in a daze, placing all my hopes on him.

[355]

I never expected him to take me to his own home.

[356]

In that moment, all my nerves tensed up, and my fantasies shattered.

[357]

Did he suspect me and want to keep an eye on me?

[358]

No, I must be too sensitive.

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浪漫主义

浪漫主义

Modern

5.0

Do you believe in love at first sight? The moment I first met Mingyuan, I had that feeling. I cautiously accommodated him, maintaining his pride with my humility—warm yet hypocritical, like the fake flowers welcoming guests at a restaurant’s entrance. Until one day, I was utterly exhausted and chose to give up. I encountered another person during a time of chaos in my life. "So I showed up." To be honest, he awakened my desires. He saw through my games with words, understanding that I was greedy, selfish, and prone to avoidance, yet he still held my hand tightly, as he always did. I received a constant stream of messages from Mingyuan, but they no longer mattered to me. I should be someone with a strong capacity to endure and process my emotions. During the time I was Mingyuan's girlfriend, I tried my best to dissolve negative feelings within myself—without confiding or disturbing anyone. I once tried to act cute, hoping he would comfort me, thinking that just a few kind words would suffice. But he looked at me with great difficulty, saying, "I really don’t know how to comfort you. The ways of comforting girls are just tricks of scumbags; I don’t want to be like them." At that moment, I thought to myself that it was normal for a straight guy not to know how to comfort someone, and I could slowly teach him. The boy I liked would love me in his own way. The blindness of love made me completely overlook the obvious logical error in that statement. Until this moment. Last night, late at night around midnight, sharp pain in my lower abdomen jolted me awake from a rather unsettled sleep, shocking my nerves. Menstrual cramps. I was breaking into a cold sweat, curling up in bed in the hot summer, tightly closing my eyes, hoping that if I just held on, it would pass. The endless pain dulled my reason; this time, the intensity of the cramps seemed more severe than ever before. I struggled to get out of bed and, to avoid waking my roommate, stumbled around in the dark searching for ibuprofen. It should be fine now. I comforted myself with that thought. But the pain didn’t subside with the medication; in fact, I felt a churn in my stomach. In a hazy moment, I remembered the doctor's advice: it’s best not to take ibuprofen on an empty stomach and to take it half an hour before cramps start... The sound of me vomiting in the bathroom woke my roommate. She turned on the light, just as I was stepping out. She was startled by my state and nearly called for an ambulance, "Oh my God, your lips are so pale." She poured me a cup of hot water and waited with me until the pain slowly faded. When I woke up the next day, I momentarily felt as if I had been reborn. I hesitated for a long time, holding my phone, but I still wanted to tell Mingyuan about it. He was very busy with work and didn’t like being disturbed, so I didn’t dare call him and chose to send a message instead. I was really feeling a bit unwell, wanting some comfort, even just from Chatime. As dusk approached, he finally replied. "What should we do?" "Go to the hospital." When I saw the message, my emotions were somewhat flat. At that time, there were a thousand kilometers between us, and I knew that distance made care seem pale and powerless. As a modern, independent woman, I also shouldn’t be that fragile. But he, it seemed, had never cared. He had never comforted me or offered much consolation. All of this, I had never taught him. By sheer chance, I scrolled back through our chat history. The time had always...

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