On the day of the Qixi Festival, my boyfriend jumped from the twenty-seventh floor and landed in a bloodied mess. A chilling scream startled the motion sensor lights of several nearby buildings. As a police officer, Shen Chuan squatted in front of me, asking about the incident. His gaze was sharp, and there was an almost cold-blooded rationality in his tone as he asked, "Where were you at the time of the incident?"
Chapter 1
[1]
1
[2]
On the day of the Chinese Valentine's Day, my boyfriend leapt from the twenty-seventh floor, leaving a gruesome scene behind.
[3]
The piercing screams triggered the sensor lights in the nearby buildings.
[4]
Jerred, being a police officer, crouched in front of me, questioning the events with a sharp gaze and a tone that was almost chillingly rational. "Where were you when it happened?" he asked.
[5]
"Where were you when it happened?" he asked.
[6]
I was so terrified that sat on the floor,shirtless,shaking unceasingly, like a fish out of water,desperately gasping for air/
[7]
After a moment, he calmly repeated,
[8]
Miss Gilbert, where were you when it happened?"
[9]
I squeezed the sticky feeling between my throat and let out a dry hoarse voice
[10]
:"I was sleeping."
[11]
"The balcony is connected to the bedroom.
[12]
Do not you know he jumped from the balcony?"
[13]
"I was sleeping,
[14]
I didn't know anything."
[15]
"The neighbors said they had heard a heated argument about two hours before the incident.
[16]
Is that true?"
[17]
"Yes."
[18]
es."
[19]
"Wh
[20]
y?"
[21]
That word "why" ignited the remnants of my sanity. I lifted my head, glaring fiercely at the man in uniform with deep-set eyes
[22]
A surge of hatred, filled with a resolve to go down together, swirled within me as I shouted at him, "Because he was a fool, a coward, a scoundrel! He knocked up a colleague, embezzled funds, and disgraced himself completely, so he jumped. Do you understand?
[23]
If you still suspect me,
[24]
I can die too"
[25]
He looked at me quietly, like searching for flaws in my words.
[26]
"You
[27]
..."
[28]
Before he could finish, I scrambled to my feet, hunching over as I rushed toward the wall with a death-defying determination.
[29]
A figure moved faster than me, blocking me in front of the wall.
[30]
My head punched his stomach heavily .
[31]
It so hurt but he might be more hurt. I think.
[32]
"Eileen, calm down," Jerred said, gripping my shoulders firmly, his voice laced with restrained pain.
[33]
gripping my shoulders firmly, his voice laced with restrained pain.
[34]
I stared blankly at him, and in that moment when our eyes met, a wave of sorrow, stronger and deeper than hatred, washed over me.
[35]
"Thank you,"
[36]
I sat paralyzed, struggling to make a sound.
[37]
He said nothing.
[38]
I clutched my arm and burst into tears, like a raving lunatic.
[39]
After examining the scene, policemen include Jerred took me back to the police station for further questioning.
[40]
They didn't allow me to leave until 3 hours later.
[41]
The questioning was essentially listening to me curse my ex for three hours.
[42]
I could never get over the fact a man uses his death to escape his mistakes, leaving the pain to his living relatives.
[43]
It angered me more than his infidelity.
[44]
As I reached the police station's entrance, Jerred caught up with me. He must not have rest for a long time, there was a large dark circle around his eyes, but it did not affect his righteous demeanor in the least. His back was still held upright with a strong spirit, standing tall like a pine tree.
[45]
"I'll take you to a nearby hotel to rest for the night,"
[46]
he offered, his tone no longer as stern as during the interrogation. His calm voice inexplicably reassured me.
[47]
Thinking of the mangled body, I accepted his kindness without hesitation.
[48]
"Thank you."
[49]
you."
[50]
As we parted at the hotel gate, he suddenly bent down, staring intently into my eyes.
[51]
"Don't entertain thoughts of ending your life again."
[52]
"I haven't met a good man yet. I'm not willing to die," I replied, flipping my hair and walking boldly to the hotel, feigning nonchalance and tragedy.
[53]
I replied.
[54]
I tossed my hair back and strode towards the hotel, trying to appear both nonchalant yet with a touch of melancholy.
[55]
2
[56]
A week later, Brad's case was officially ruled a suicide after going through legal procedures.
[57]
However, Brad's mother refused to accept the truth that her son had taken his own life and still suspected me as the murderer, dragging me to the police station to argue.
[58]
She pulled my hair, accusing me of having a heart of stone and driving her son to die in the police station lobby.
[59]
I was furious and pushed and shoved with her.
[60]
Jerred arrived to separate us.
[61]
At that moment, I was disheveled, barefoot, and standing on the ground,
[62]
while Jerred, in his crisp uniform, stood tall and dignified beside me, making my plight even more apparent.
[63]
"What happened?"
[64]
he asked.
[65]
"She killed my son," Brad's mother screamed, pointing at me.
[66]
Brad's mother screamed, pointing at me.
[67]
I clasped my arms and sneered, "That was retribution on his part, so you dared to bully me,
[68]
why don't you dare to go to the woman who got knocked up by your son and make a scene?
[69]
I handed over all my savings to Brad's parents, and lost my job by them.
[70]
What more did they want? Did they want me to pay with my life for their son?
[71]
Brad's mother trembled with rage, her swollen eyes glaring at me. "Look at your sharp tongue. If it weren't for your provocation, would my son have been driven to jump?"
[72]
"Look at your mean face. If you hadn't provoked him, would my son have thought twice about jumping off a building?
[73]
I just wanted say something,Jerred stopped me.
[74]
He leaned in and whispered,
[75]
"Don't provoke her. Leave it to me."
[76]
I grabbed my hair irritable
[77]
Brad, the scum of the earth, is irresponsible himself, and a death is a complete relief.
[78]
Instead, I'm going to live in his shadow for the rest of my life, talked about, second-guessed, and tormented by my own guilt and fear.
[79]
"I'm just as aggrieved as his mother is,"
[80]
I choked out, looking up at Jerred.
[81]
The day Brad died, I did revile him.
[82]
When I found out he betray on me and still expected me to help him out, I lashed out, venting my anger on his entire family.
[83]
But was I wrong?
[84]
Faced with such a man, was I supposed to comfort him kindly?
[85]
Telling him he just made a mistake that all men will make?
[86]
I couldn't do it!
[87]
It's a mercy I didn't hit him.
[88]
He said if I abandoned him, he'd die.
[89]
But such a horrible man, shouldn't I break up ?
[90]
I didn't think he'd jump just as I was falling asleep.
[91]
How much better was I when that scene of blood and flesh haunted me every moment?
[92]
Jerred's eyes softened, and he patted my shoulder. "Wait for me next door."
[93]
and he patted my shoulder. "Wait for me next door."
[94]
I wiped my tears fiercely and walked away, trying to leave a bold and decisive impression.
[95]
But after a few steps, my shoulders slumped, and I had no energy left to put on a brave front.
[96]
About an hour later, Jerred came to find me.
[97]
I looked behind him and breathed a sigh of relief
[98]
Facing the mother who lost her son, I felt guilty, but I couldn't say anything to apologize.
[99]
"It's over. Don't dwell on it.
[100]
Legally, you're not guilty of any crime against Brad,"
[101]
sitting across from me, his elbows resting on the armrests,
[102]
leaning slightly forward. His tone was much softer than before.
[103]
"Thank you,"
[104]
I murmured, my head bowed.
[105]
Leaving the police station, I felt conflicted, unsure of where to go, and sat dazed at the nearby bus stop.
[106]
The sky began to drizzle, the rain gradually intensifying.
[107]
After some time, a black SUV stopped in front of me, the window rolling down to reveal a chiseled face.
[108]
It was Jerred.
[109]
He had changed out of his uniform, wearing a black shirt that accentuated his tall frame and sharp shoulders.
[110]
Through the rain, I couldn't see his expression clearly, but his deep, magnetic voice cut through the noise of the rain. "Where are you going?
[111]
I'll
[112]
take you."
[113]
I stared at him blankly, tears streaming down my face before I could speak.
[114]
"I don't know "
[115]
where to go."
[116]
3
[117]
Perhaps seeing how pitiful I was, Jerred offered to take me out for a meal.
[118]
I, without much resistance, agreed.
[119]
After Brad's death, I didn't dare go home, meet friends, talk about it, or even be alone in a quiet place. I broke down countless times.
[120]
Jerred's identity and presence gave me immense security, something I couldn't refuse.
[121]
I even hoped he could be by my side all the time.
[122]
For dinner, we had hot pot, a boiling pot with a constant steamy white mist, a red broth that tumbled and smelled delicious.
[123]
After several failed attempts to find a topic of conversation, we both fell silent
[124]
The atmosphere starkly contrasted with the lively excitement at the next table.
[125]
I couldn't think of any other way to put off spending a little more time together other than shoveling food into my mouth one way or another.
[126]
I didn't put down my chopsticks until I finally couldn't eat any more and opened my mouth again to spit it out.
[127]
After dinner, Jerred drove me home. When we reached my building, he looked up at my balcony.
[128]
"Have · you · thought · about · moving?"
[129]
"Why should I move?"
[130]
I retorted angrily. "Moving would just show them I'm weak-minded?."
[131]
He looked down at me, his gaze deep. After a moment, he concluded, "You're fighting with yourself."
[132]
After a moment, he concluded, "You're fighting with yourself."
[133]
I paused for a couple of seconds,
[134]
then snapped,
[135]
"that's none of your business'!"
[136]
Feeling guilty after snapping, I was about to run when Jerred slightly shifted to block my path.
[137]
"Let's exchange contacts."
[138]
He took out his phone, opened the social Whatsapp QR code, and held it out to me, his gaze calm and steady.
[139]
Perhaps he was too open and natural for me to blaspheme in the slightest
[140]
I quickly took out my phone, scanned the code in one go,
[141]
added him as a friend, and carefully noted him as "Mr. Williams ."
[142]
He nodded with satisfaction,
[143]
"If you're ever in trouble, just let me know."
[144]
I pressed my lips together, not speaking, but thought to myself, can't I reach out if there's no trouble?
[145]
"I suggest you date a psychologist,"
[146]
he added.
[147]
I nodded quickly, then shook my head.
[148]
There's no point in seeing a psychologist; isn't everything something you have to endure on your own?
[149]
I replied in my mind.
[150]
It wasn't that I was introverted; I just had no interest in speaking at that moment.
[151]
But I didn't expect that in Jerred's eyes, my condition was so severe that early the next morning, he came to drag me to a psychological clinic.
[152]
"I'm not sick."
[153]
After a sleepless night, my voice was weak and soft, and just walking out of the bedroom to open the door left me feeling exhausted.
[154]
He stood at the door, dressed in black, one hand in his pocket, scrutinizing me with a furrowed brow.
[155]
After a moment, he commanded, "Go wash up and get ready to go out.
[156]
A sudden surge of anger welled up inside me, and as if I had lost my mind, I grabbed a cup from beside me and hurled it at him. "I'm not sick, you're the one who needs help!
[157]
I grabbed a cup from beside me and hurled it at him. "I'm not sick, you're the one who needs help! you're all sick!
[158]
He sidestepped, and the cup crashed to the ground, shattering into pieces.
[159]
I glared at him, my expression fierce.
[160]
He didn't speak, nor did he show any sign of blame, just quietly met my gaze,
[161]
like calming a stubborn child, with immense patience.
[162]
After a long while, he extended his hand to me,
[163]
"Be good."
[164]
I conceded, my hostility fading in his calm gaze.
[165]
Failure, irritability, anger, sensitivity... I had nothing to argue about.
[166]
I had nothing to argue about.
[167]
So, I resignedly followed Jerred to the psychological clinic. After talking with the psychologist, the doctor suggested I talk more with friends and maintain contact with the outside world.
[168]
I was greatly disappointed with this outcome and complained to Jerred as we left, "Spending money here for some platitudes, I might as well read some self-help books.
[169]
Not to mention I have no desire to confide in anyone, and even if I did, I don't have anyone to confide in.
[170]
Everyone I know just wants to dig up gossip or hear my sob stories;
[171]
and those I don't know, why should I bother?
[172]
You can talk to me," Jerred said after a moment of silence.
[173]
Jerred said after a moment of silence.
[174]
" But I'm not very good at chatting, and I'm usually busy, so my replies might be late."
[175]
An unaccountable ecstasy came up like a tidal wave, and I suddenly wanted to laugh and cry, with mixed and intense emotions.
[176]
Someone was willing to lend me a hand, so I couldn't give up.
[177]
Since then, I've been pestering Jerred every day, sharing all sorts of trivial daily things, good songs, and good movies with him.
[178]
Even though his replies were late and dull, I found it all very enjoyable.
[179]
Because I knew he would respond eventually, and my waiting wouldn't be in vain.
[180]
I liked this feeling.
[181]
".Mr. Williams, are you single?"
[182]
One late night, I impulsively sent him a message.
[183]
A few minutes later, I regretted it.
[184]
Because I'm not sure of my motivation, is it need, or yearning, or is it just empty loneliness?
[185]
"Never mind, you don't have to answer," I sent another message.
[186]
I sent another message.
[187]
This time he replied quickly,
[188]
"I don't believe in marriage."
[189]
4
[190]
I found a new job and was preparing to move into a new apartment. Just when I thought everything was gradually getting better, Brad's mother reappeared in my life.
[191]
"How can you live so well?
[192]
My son is dead,
[193]
why should you live so comfortably?"
[194]
One morning, as I was heading downstairs to go to work, she suddenly appeared, glaring at me as if she wanted to skin me alive.
[195]
"Ma'am, how do you expect me to live, like you?"
[196]
I shot back defiantly, "This kind of thing isn't about whoever is pitiful,
[197]
refusing to let go you keep harassing my life and I'll call the police.
[198]
I tried to walk past her, but she grabbed my arm tightly and do not let me go.
[199]
During the struggle, she suddenly fainted, scaring me into immediately dialing 120.
[200]
While paying the hospital fees, I was contemplating whether to call Jerred for help, fearing what might happen if I had to face Brad's father alone. Suddenly, I bumped into someone.
[201]
Before I could apologize, a familiar voice sounded above me,
[202]
"Eileen, what are you doing here?"
[203]
Looking up, I saw it was Jerred, one arm in a cast and the other holding an IV stand, looking a bit pitiful.
[204]
The invincible image I had of him suddenly seemed much more down-to-earth.
[205]
"What happened
[206]
to you?"
[207]
He looked a bit anxious, "Injured on a mission.
[208]
I need to use the restroom first, I'll explain later."
[209]
With that, he hurried off, clearly in a rush.
[210]
I followed him, "How do you get your pants off here?
[211]
Let me help you."
[212]
help you."
[213]
Such a straightforward offer startled him into running even faster.
[214]
At the restroom door, I caught up with him, "If you're nervous, just close your eyes.
[215]
It'll be quick."
[216]
He didn't dare move a muscle, the tips of his ears red
[217]
I was nervous too, my hands shaking uncontrollably. Seeing people gathering around to watch, I hurried my actions.
[218]
As soon as the belt was undone, both Jerred and I breathed a sigh of relief.
[219]
"You can handle the zipper yourself,"
[220]
I said, quickly slipping away.
[221]
Not long after, I reluctantly returned. Having undone his belt, I felt obligated to help fasten it back.
[222]
Jerred emerged from the restroom, his belt already fastened.
[223]
I was slightly surprised,
[224]
"Did you get someone else to help you?"
[225]
His face turned a shade of embarrassment, swallowing before he looked at the IV stand and replied, "I asked someone to hold the stand."
[226]
"I asked someone to hold the stand."
[227]
I suddenly understood; so that's how it was.
[228]
Why hadn't he thought of that earlier?
[229]
"Why are you at the hospital?"
[230]
he asked.
[231]
I remembered and quickly said, "Brad's mom suddenly fainted, and I brought her to the hospital.
[232]
You have to help me;
[233]
I'm afraid she'll use this as an excuse to cause trouble."
[234]
Jerred raised an eyebrow,
[235]
"Why did you send her to the hospital when you were so scared?
[236]
I didn't reply, lowering my gaze, feeling conflicted.
[237]
If I didn't bring her to the hospital and something happened, I'd have even more trouble explaining.
[238]
"Let's go,"
[239]
Jerred said.
[240]
I quickly and eagerly took his IV stand, leading the way.
[241]
When we reached the emergency room, he suddenly called out to me, "Eileen, kindness isn't a mistake
[242]
Don't doubt yourself because of others' wrongdoings."
[243]
"Mr. Williams, your advice is really quite ordinary," .
[244]
I laughed.
[245]
Jerred laughed too, looking in good spirits, his eyes crinkling at the corners.
[246]
Suddenly, someone stumbled out of the ward, about to bump into me. Jerred quickly pulled me aside.
[247]
"It's you two?"
[248]
It was Brad's mom, her face pale and her tone acerbic, "When did you hook up?"
[249]
Eileen, did you cuckold my son?
[250]
No wonder he couldn't take it anymore,
[251]
you shameless slut."
[252]
Pointing at Jerred, she shouted to the gathering patients, "This pair of adulterers killed my son!
[253]
Do you know what this man does?
[254]
He's a..."
[255]
a..."
[256]
I almost subconsciously rushed to jerred "s body
[257]
I opened my arms to protect him like a chicken cub, "I advise you to speak kindly. Don't push me to expose your son's dirty deeds online.
[258]
by then your son can really have no good reputation left at all."
[259]
To honor the deceased is crucial, and unless absolutely necessary, I don't want to resort to such measures. But I can't allow anyone to tarnish Jerred or me. In other word I can't stand by while someone sullies Jerred's name.
[260]
Brad's mother fell silent instantly, staring daggers at me.
[261]
I stretched my neck and looked straight at her, refusing to give in to any semblance of softness.
[262]
Behind me, Jerred spoke softly, "Thank you."
[263]
"Thank you."
[264]
I've always been the one to thank Jerred,for he helped me in down..
[265]
It was finally his turn to thank me and I was so excited I wanted to cry.
[266]
Maybe, to him, I finally had some value.
[267]
"Eileen, I can't accept your kindness.
[268]
Just you wait," Brad's mother said, ignoring the doctors and nurses trying to stop her, insisting on leaving the hospital.
[269]
I attempted to reach Brad's father, but there was no answer.
[270]
Unable to connect any of Brad's mother's family, we had no choice but to let her go.
[271]
After following Brad's mother into a taxi, I returned to the hospital to accompany Jerred during his IV treatment.
[272]
"You're doing well lately,"
[273]
Jerred said.
[274]
I forced a bitter smile. "Of course, I have to take care of my emotions and health.
[275]
Otherwise, wouldn't those who hurt me have succeeded?"
[276]
Jerred tilted his head to look at me, the stark white light from the ceiling reflecting in his clear eyes, creating gentle ripples.
[277]
"Not bad,"
[278]
he said softly after a moment.
[279]
Two simple words inexplicably made my heart beat faster,
[280]
and I quickly turned my head and, as if compelled by an unseen force, I blurted out, "The air in this hospital is really nice."
[281]
5
[282]
Three days later, Brad's mother passed away.
[283]
I suffered from severe insomnia, relying on medication to sleep, completely unaware of what happened after I fell asleep.
[284]
That morning, when I opened the door, I was greeted by the sight of a pair of legs dangling in mid-air, just a few centimeters from my face.
[285]
A lone red plastic stool lay overturned on the ground.
[286]
In an instant, I was terrified, retreating to a corner, unable to make a sound, my throat constricted, with the relentless pounding of my heart echoing in my ears.
[287]
It took a while before I regained my senses, trembling as I took out my phone to call Jerred.
[288]
His voice came through the receiver, calm and steady as usual,
[289]
"What's wrong"
[290]
I took a deep breath, pinching my thigh to force myself to explain the situation clearly.
[291]
"Don't be afraid, stay there, I'm coming right over,"
[292]
he · said, · a · rustling · sound · in · the · background. · "Don't · hang · up, · wait · for · me."
[293]
The fear and panic that had been lodged in my chest found an outlet and began to slowly dissipate.
[294]
I nodded, realizing he couldn't see me, and quickly said, "Okay, I'll wait for you."
[295]
Before long,
[296]
the sound of police sirens echoed from downstairs.
[297]
Jerred was the first to rush up, wearing his police uniform, his expression composed, his right hand in a cast.
[298]
He stepped around the body and crouched in front of me, pulling me into his arms,
[299]
his hand resting on my head, his voice soft and gentle, "It's okay now."
[300]
All my rationality crumbled. I clung to his waist, turning my suppressed fear into loud sobs, smearing tears and snot on his chest.
[301]
Just like the day something happened to Brad, I was taken to the police station again. The only difference was that Jerred wasn't the one questioning me this time. The process was otherwise the same.
[302]
I didn't know why Brad's mother died or why she died at my doorstep.
[303]
This time, the questioning was shorter, perhaps because the signs of suicide were more apparent.
[304]
When I came out, Jerred was waiting at the door. He was in uniform, holding his police cap in his hand, standing tall and looking every bit the righteous officer.
[305]
As soon as he saw me, his stern expression softened a bit. He reached out and ruffled my hair,
[306]
"It's okay now."
[307]
I looked up at him blankly, tears welling up in my eyes.
[308]
"Do you believe me?"
[309]
I asked after a while.
[310]
"Police work relies on evidence, not personal bias," he said,
[311]
his gaze unwavering and straightforward.
[312]
I understood, but I also felt wronged, tears uncontrollably streaming down my face.
[313]
He frowned slightly, opened his mouth as if to say something, but in the end, he said nothing, simply handing me a pack of tissues.
[314]
I refused to take it, walking past him in a huff.
[315]
Suddenly, a heart-wrenching roar erupted behind me,
[316]
"Eileen, give me back my wife and child! I won't let you get away with this!"
[317]
I stopped in my tracks, the fear I had been suppressing breaking through my defenses, sweeping into the depths of my soul.
[318]
Isn't it?Two lives.
[319]
How did I become burdened with the weight of two lives?
[320]
What unforgivable thing did I do?
[321]
The sudden confusion made my expression blank. Turning around, I saw Brad's father, eyes bloodshot, glaring at me like an exposed lion, radiating hatred.
[322]
If not for the two officers holding him back, he might have rushed over to tear me apart.
[323]
"Eileen, I'll kill you,"
[324]
he said hideously.
[325]
Images of Brad and his mother smiling and waving at me flashed through my mind. My legs buckled, and I sank to the floor, my chest heaving, every pore exuding coldness.
[326]
Footsteps approached from afar.
[327]
Jerred stopped in front of me, wrapped an arm around my shoulders, and helped me up, supporting most of my weight.
[328]
I caught the clean, reassuring scent of his freshly laundered uniform, his arms strong and secure.
[329]
Under his towering presence, I felt like I had a place to hide. On impulse, I buried my head in his chest, clinging tightly to his waist.
[330]
His breath hitched for a moment, then he held me close as we walked forward.
[331]
"I'll take you home. Don't be afraid of anything."
[332]
Behind us, Brad's father's curses grew louder and louder. Suddenly, his tone changed, filled with a strange excitement.
[333]
"You must be colluding with the authorities to murder my wife and son. I'll report you!"
[334]
I'll report you!"
[335]
By the time we left the police station, the weather had cleared up. As I stepped into the sunlight, a sudden calm washed over me.
[336]
"I must live my life to the fullest. I have done nothing wrong.
[337]
As long as I don't care about morality, no one can morally kidnap me.
[338]
"Eileen, stay strong," Jerred said, patting my shoulder with his left hand, his features striking in the bright light.
[339]
patting my shoulder with his left hand, his features striking in the bright light.
[340]
On the way home, we sat quietly in the back of the taxi, neither of us speaking.
[341]
The scenery outside the window kept retreating, the city as bustling and lively as ever.
[342]
I leaned my head against the window, tears falling uncontrollably.
[343]
When the taxi stopped downstairs, I clenched my fists, summoning the courage to make a swift exit, afraid that if I hesitated, my courage would falter.
[344]
"Eileen."
[345]
he said
[346]
Just as I was about to go upstairs, a deep, pleasant voice called out from behind.
[347]
Tears welled up again. I turned slowly and saw Jerred standing straight in the sunlight, his eyes shimmered with a bright, watery sheen.
[348]
He hesitated for a moment, then said seriously,
[349]
The place you're staying isn't safe. I'll find you somewhere else to live."
[350]
The weight on my heart suddenly lightened a bit, a ray of light breaking through.
[351]
I crouched down, hugging my knees, and cried out loud.
[352]
Jerred stood in front of me, draping his jacket over my head, shielding me completely in darkness.
[353]
After crying until I was exhausted, Jerred helped me upstairs to pack my things, then took me to a taxi.
[354]
Throughout the journey, I was in a daze, placing all my hopes on him.
[355]
I never expected him to take me to his own home.
[356]
In that moment, all my nerves tensed up, and my fantasies shattered.
[357]
Did he suspect me and want to keep an eye on me?
[358]
No, I must be too sensitive.
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