Taming The Playboy

Felix has his music on full blast, so I wake up to this scene of my teenage brother's room. I roll my eyes, throw the worn quilt off, and get up.

You know that saying goes, another day, another dollar,

We live in a tiny bedroom apartment where we hoarded cheap furniture and the stench of miГє noodles is always around.

But it's home, and it's where I have been holding it all together with Felix since we lost Mom and Dad in that stupid car accident.

I slide into the kitchen, the linoleum hard beneath my feet.

And there's Felix somehow, already, lapping up his cereal like it's the last supper, eyes glued to his phone.

'Mornin', Junebug,' he says, mouth full of soggy flakes.

I grunt in response, too tired to smile or even feign comfort.

"What's with the long face?" Huh? he says, finally tearing his face from his phone, long enough to look at me with a bewildered expression.

I roll my eyes and have to fight the urge to bark back at him. "Nothing, Felix. Just tired, that's all."

He arches an eyebrow, obviously doubtful. "Uh-huh, sure. 'Maybe if you came out, every once in a while, and did something besides work and read those horrible books of yours, you wouldn't be such a bore.

I can feel my blood hot at his words, the old prickling of resentment rising up inside me. Why does he have to be such a d*ck all the time?

"Excuse me? It's too early for this, please." I snap, my voice dripping with sarcasm. 'The last time I looked, it's not your d*mn business what I do in my spare time,' wrote one.

Felix shrugs, unfazed by my outburst. "I'm just saying, maybe if you put yourself out there once in a while, you might actually meet someone who's not a total loser.

My fists ball up, and I fight to keep myself from punching him in the face. "And what's that supposed to mean?"

He smirks, clearly enjoying getting a rise out of me. "Oh, come on, June. You're getting old and you've never had a boyfriend since... What's his name? Tom? It's been ages since you two broke up? Don't you think it's time to have another man?"

His remarks are crushing me like a ton of bricks, and I can feel my cheeks burning with embarrassment. He is not hesitant to use his understanding of how to make me feel uncomfortable against me."Shut up, Felix, I respond, trying desperately to sound irritated while a smile tugs at the corners of my mouth. "Just so you know, those "cringe novels" are how I get away from this awful world."More often than not, we've been at each other's throats lately, and I sense that there's another argument bubbling beneath the surface.

But even though we argue all the time, we have a deeper connection than just words.All I have left of our family is Felix, who is sixteen years old, and I will not allow anything to separate us.I gaze at Felix as I pour warm coffee into my cup.I can't help but be thankful for him even if he has the tendency to irritate me and drive me crazy.He's growing so quickly that I occasionally forget he's still a young child attempting to make sense of this chaotic world.

I sigh and slump into my chair, preparing for yet another day of whatever life has in store for us all.

I pick up a piece of toast and drop it into the toaster, while trying to dismiss Felix's annoying hum, as he sucks down his cereal. For crying out loud, does he have to be so loud this early in the morning.

"Hey, June, you mind picking up some more milk on your way home from work today? Felix asks, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

I frown at him because I'm getting impatient. "And you're just going to sit there and stuff your face while playing video games all day?"Felix rolls his eyes despite my annoyance. "Hey, somebody has to keep this place from collapsing. You're too busy working hard to notice, and that's not my fault."

His remark pricks me, that old familiar pain of envy rising up again. He knows I'd do anything for him, but sometimes it feels like he's just taking advantage of me.

'Yeah, well, what if you contributed every now and then, maybe we wouldn't be living from cheque to cheque,' I retort, boiling over with frustration.

Felix scoffs, his tone mocking. "Oh, please. Like you're some kind of saint, working yourself to the bone while I sit around doing nothing.

I open my mouth to respond, but before I can say anything, the toaster pops, startling us both. I snatch the burnt toast with a huff and deposit it on a plate, my appetite having flown long ago.

We sit in silence, the tension between us, like a fog. I can sense Felix's eyes on me, waiting for me to reconcile, but I'm not backing down this time.

Like, we've had this fight a thousand times before and I'm sick of playing the 'everything is fine' game when it really isn't.

Finally, Felix sighs, breaking the silence. "Look, June, I didn't mean it like that. I know you're doing your best, okay?"

I sigh, too exhausted to keep up the fight. "Yeah, well, it's not good enough, is it?"

Felix leans forward to touch my arm, and his face loosens. "Hey, don't say that. We're in this together, remember?"

I nod, a little ashamed of the way I snapped at him. He may drive me crazy sometimes, but he's still my little brother, and I'd do anything to protect him.

With a resigned sigh, I force a smile and ruffle his hair. "Yeah, you're right. We'll figure it out, somehow."

Felix smiles at me, the awkwardness between us evaporating in the breeze. "That's the spirit. Now, are you gonna eat that burnt toast, or can I have it?

I roll my eyes, but I can't help laughing. Maybe things aren't so bad after all.

I collapse on my bed like a sack of potatoes. Felix's whining is repeating in my head like a broken record. Am I really pulling my weight? Or am I just kidding myself?

Seeking an escape, I grab the dusty photo album on my bedside table.The happy smiles of my parents are staring back at me as I turn the pages.Before I realize it, tears are pouring from my eyes as my throat becomes choked.What a mess-I just used the back of my hand to wipe my eyes. Nothing will make Mom and Dad return, no matter how much i wish.Now, Felix and I are up against the world, and sometimes it feels like we're losing.

I push the album back into its hole, burying my sorrow with it.