Epitome of Love

Sandra POV

"Wow! Doesn't she feel burdened by her legs? If I had a body like that, I might never leave the house. She should have at least exercised!"

The woman in her black dress chuckled. "Naturally! She's been like that ever since. She's used to that body, so why would she feel burdened? Besides, what if she's been chubby since birth?"

The group of women burst into laughter after their leader said that. Mockery was evident on their faces as they shot me mocking glances. I lowered my gaze.

"No wonder no one wants to court her. She's beautiful, but her body isn't. They call it a 'lollipop'—pretty face, throwaway body!"

And they burst into laughter again.

The sound of their laughter still echoes in my head as if it happened just yesterday. In reality, seven years have passed since I became the target of ridicule at my former school.

I let out a frustrated sigh as I scrutinize my body in front of the elliptical-shaped mirror, focusing on my lower extremities.

Having thick thighs and chunky arms is a struggle for me. I've had a robust physique since I was a child. I've never experienced wearing small or medium-sized clothes. It's always been double XL!

Back in college, I gained weight. Maybe it was because I always sought comfort in food. When everybody seemed to make fun of me, food became my comfort zone.

I've experienced being different in the eyes of others. I've been called chubby, plump, and hefty. After several years of being the center of attention, I should be used to it by now. I live in a world where humiliation is already a part of people's lives.

My Papa taught me not to humiliate people. Shame is a lifetime lasting effect that can be nursed but can never be cured. With the multitude of people who insulted me, I don't understand why I still can't get used to it.

But it turns out, it's hard to get used to something that will never be right in someone's eyes and feelings.

After finishing my studies, I tried dieting. Jogging here, jogging there. Zumba here, yoga there. There was some improvement. From double XL, I now wear XL clothes.

They say I'm not really that fat. Despite my large thighs and arms, they say my waist is small. But I still feel chubby. I feel like I'm the ugliest creature in the whole world.

Because if not, why doesn't any man find me attractive? Why is it that every time I try to date, I always end up hurt? Can't a woman with big arms and thighs like me be taken seriously? Does a person's figure matter for them to take it seriously?

"Sandra! Why is your face all scrunched up again?" my friend Margarette scolded me, bringing my mind back to the present.

I turned away from the mirror and looked for Marga's eyes. I found my best friend sitting on the edge of my bed while watching me. Marga's perfectly shaped eyebrows were furrowed together. I eyed her for seconds before releasing a weak sigh.

"Should I still go through with this, Marga?" I asked my friend with a subdued voice.

Marga raised her left eyebrow as she crossed her arms above her chest. "Are you crazy? Of course! Why wouldn't you?"

I pouted. "Maybe, like before, I'll get stood up. They'll just make up some excuse."

I avoided Marga's gaze and focused on my own reflection.

It's been days since Margarette set up a blind date for me. When she told me about it, she didn't have a hard time convincing me. My best friend knows that I'm a sucker for relationships, and I thought it was a good idea since I've never dated anyone throughout my entire life.

How could I experience that when no one seems to be interested in me?

I can still remember how excited I was at that time. I prepared the dress I wore then. I even went to a salon just to fix my hair and makeup. But all the efforts I exerted were put to waste.

Royce:

I'm on my way. See you!

My heart was pounding wildly inside my chest after I received that message from Royce, who happened to be my blind date. According to Marga, he's a friend of her co-worker and currently looking for a girlfriend. I got excited that we both wanted something like a relationship. I was sure this date would work.

"Ma'am, do you want to order now?" the waitress asked me for the second time.

She seemed annoyed with me because I'd been sitting there for a while without ordering anything except water.

I smiled at her. "Later, sister. My date is on his way."

She raised an eyebrow at me before turning away without saying a word.

Rude.

Minutes later, I got a text from Royce telling me that he's already here.

Me:

I'm wearing a yellow dress.

"My heart continued to pound loudly. It felt like something was tickling me. I adjusted my posture and focused my gaze on the restaurant's entrance where I could see every person entering.

More than half an hour had passed, but Royce still hadn't approached me. I kept glancing at my phone, waiting for a message from the man I was supposed to meet. My stomach was growling from hunger, but I forced myself to endure it while waiting for him. We needed to eat together.

Me:

I thought you're already here?

Did he get lost? That's impossible. The restaurant isn't that big. Besides, I described myself very clearly.

Me:

I'm the one wearing a yellow dress. Fair-skinned with curly hair.

I took a deep breath. My throat was getting dry, and my glass was empty. I was about to ask for a refill, but I knew the waitress would give me a scowl. I'd been here for an hour, yet I still hadn't ordered anything. If I did, and I ate first, it would be totally rude to Royce.

My heart thumped repeatedly when my phone beeped with a message.

Royce:

I'm sorry, Sandra. I won't be able to make it. Something came up.

My chest rose and fell with the breath I released. Remembering it still felt like a pinch in my heart. I felt strongly that Royce was already here and he saw me. He just made an excuse for not showing up. When in fact, he already saw me sitting on that chair while waiting for him. He already saw me. Specifically, my physical appearance.

That's the only possible reason, right?

"Sandra, that won't happen again. I swear! The guy I'm setting you up with is nice. Just because it happened the first time, doesn't mean it'll happen again now," Marga said, snapping me out of my thoughts.

She hugged me from behind, which brought a smile to my lips. My best friend really loves to embrace me. Maybe because she finds comfort in my curves.

I grinned at her reflection through the mirror. "Fine. I trust you. I know you won't put me in harm's way."

She giggled. "Of course! I just want you to have a love life before I get married."

Hearing those words from my best friend made me feel happy, touched, and sad all at the same time. I'm happy because she's getting married in a week to her fiancé Cole. After five long years of their relationship, they're finally tying the knot.

I'm also sad because it's impossible for me to have a love life within a week. Unless, of course, the guy she's setting me up with ends up liking me.

"I just hope nothing goes wrong," I said.

My best friend tightened her hug and smiled confidently at me. "When you go home later, you'll have a love life!"

As soon as the restaurant staff held the double glass doors for me, I stepped inside with my heart pounding in my chest.

"Thank you," I smiled at the staff.

He nodded at me and smiled. "Any reservation, Ma'am?"

"Ah, none. But I'm waiting for someone," I said with a hint of embarrassment.