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>> Vanessa's POV >>
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"What do you mean I have cancer?" The words tore through my throat as shock crashed over me like lightning.
I sat across from the doctor, blinking away hot tears. My life-my entire life- was about to take a turn I wasn't ready for.
"I came here for a pregnancy test, not this." My voice cracked. "It doesn't make any sense."
I stared at him, desperate. "What about the symptoms? The dizziness? The fatigue? That's pregnancy, isn't it?"
He didn't answer and I already knew.
A few days ago, I was elated, convinced I was finally pregnant.
I thought the one thing that could save my marriage was finally within reach.
But no-the universe had other plans. Just like always, it had something cruel for me.
I could feel the pressure building behind my eyes. I tried to blink back the tears but they slipped out anyway.
The doctor sat there, staring at me with a grave expression.
His calmness was unbearable and unsettling, while my emotions were flipping like a Rollercoaster.
"Mrs Holland..." He began, making my heart drop.
I knew whatever was coming, I wasn't going to like it. Not one bit.
All of a sudden, my throat began to constrict as I rubbed my palms against my pants, bracing myself.
"I'm sorry but you're not pregnant..." He paused and his gaze traveled down to my neck.
Shame burned against my skin...without blinking, I pulled the shawl tighter around me to cover up my shame.
He cleared his throat and averted his gaze, scribbling something in his notepad.
Who wouldn't give me weird looks too? It was a hot Saturday afternoon... yet there was a large shawl wrapped protectively around my neck.
"You know he shouldn't be doing that to you..." Doctor Adam said quietly, without looking at me.
I froze. No words left my mouth.
The bruises on my body were nothing compared to the ones inside me.
A sick part of me would rather endure Derek's fists than face cancer.
After everything I've been through in this world that has known nothing but how to cause me pain, I wanted to scream, break something, and shatter into pieces. But I didn't.
I just sat there, staring at the wall behind Doctor Adam. Somehow, I held myself together.
"So..." He said gently, "I think you should start treatment soon."
His words echoed in my skull.
Treatment?
For what??
For a life that doesn't feel like mine??
"I don't know," I whispered, barely recognizing my voice.
"Mrs Holland." Doctor Adam leaned forward. "...There's hope. It's an early stage of your cancer. There are greater chances of survival."
Hope?
That word sounded like a lie.
What does hope even mean when you wake up every day, walking on eggshells and praying your husband doesn't get a temper and beat you over a cold coffee??
What's hope when there was no one to hold your hand? Not even family.
I placed a hand on my stomach. Foolishly hoping something was growing inside.
A baby. A reason. A reason to hope. But there wasn't. Just pain and emptiness.
"I don't want the treatment."
"Vanessa..." he dropped formalities.
"I don't.." I repeated as I looked away, my voice breaking. "Why fight for a life that doesn't even feel like mine?"
"Vanessa..." He tried again in a softer tone.
I stood up, pushing the chair back quietly. "Thank you for your time, Doctor."
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