Psycho for You

I am running from the man who is running after me. I don’t know who he is, and I don’t even have an idea why he is chasing me. I am so scared it seems that I’ve done him wrong. He is holding a vase while chasing me, his eyes staring at me, telling me that he wants to hurt me or, worse, kill me. I don’t know what to do because I am so scared and I want to scream, but there is no voice coming from me. So I keep on running even though I don’t know where to go, and he keeps on chasing.

The thunder roars so loud that I can’t even hear my heartbeat; I am breathing heavily, praying that I hope someone will rescue me, but I know there is no one, only me and myself. He is not a robber, and he doesn’t want anything but me. I tried to open the door and windows, but I don’t know why I couldn’t open it; it seems that he locked it from outside, and how did he do it? I don’t have an idea. I went inside my room and picked the ballpen I found on the table beside the bed to use as my weapon if he saw me and hurt me. Even there is no assurance that it would save me from him. I hide under my bed, with my heart can’t stop beating fast because I am afraid and I can’t even breathe. The thunder continuously roars, but this time with lightning, pieces of information can see his shadow from under the bed. If he’s near, I can also hear him whistling as if he’s so calm while I’m in fear. I can also hear his footsteps and still whistling and holding the vase that I know he will use to smash me in the head. He stopped in front of me, still searching where I was hiding. I know he already has an idea where I am hiding because he looks so chill; He is just playing around like a cat trying to catch a mouse or like a tiger trying to play with his food before he eats it. He is not even talking or moving objects. I saw him getting something from his pocket, and it was a lighter and a cigarette. He lit the cigarette and started smoking while I was still under the bed, thinking about how to go out without noticing me. I tried to look around, but there was no chance of going out

because he waited for me to come out. It is like we are playing hide and seek, and He is the one who needs to seek but this time on a different level.

Once he found me, I was dead. He walks backwards and forward and then backwards again. I don’t know, but it seems that he’s trying to find something without touching anything because I don’t see things moving. It is still thundering, and I am waiting for him to leave the room, so I can crawl out from the bed but instead, he drops his cigarette on the floor, steps on it, and sits in the chair beside the bed. I know he knows that I am under the bed, hiding like a scared kid, lost in my own house, in my room. I tried to stop my fear and close my eyes, pray for him to go away, but I saw him stand up again and start whistling. I closed my eyes. I can feel him keep walking until he suddenly stops. The whistles, the movement, so I open my eyes to check if he’s gone. I slowly crawl from under my bed with thunder and lightning. I was surprised when he pulled me on my hair with all of his force. I tried to scream again, but I couldn’t scream. I dropped the pen that was supposed to be my weapon. He dragged me only with one hand and smashed me on the wall. He is so strong, and My back hurts; I feel like one of my backbones broke, and I can’t move. He walks near me with a steel vase in his hand. He lifts it and hits me. I saw his face, but it was blurry. That’s why I can’t recognise him. He kept on hitting me with a vase until I lost consciousness.

I woke up with my boyfriend sound asleep in my bed with my heavy breathing and the sweat on my forehead. Even the air-conditioner is on. I thank God that it is all just a dream though it looks natural. I am alive and kicking. There is no lightning and thunder; the weather is one because I can see the sunlight even when the windows and curtains are closed. No bad man and broken bones too. I got up from my bed, stretched my body, and I was about to start my day when I heard my parents fighting again downstairs. Daddy is home after a half month of not going home. His reason is his out of town business without calling my mom while he’s on his business makes my mom paranoid. I tried to sneak to check what was happening to them. My mom is so mad with my dad. She keeps on telling things that she already said a thousand times while dad keeps on explaining himself a thousand times too. They are always Like that. Good thing that we don’t have neighbours living nearby because they are so embarrassing.

“Where have you been?!” Mom asked, full of range, but dad didn’t answer as if he’s deaf.

“You are gone for half a month”, She added with a shaking voice.

“What is your reason now?” She asked, still with a shaking voice, trying not to cry because I could feel her breaking down again, but dad kept on ignoring her. Instead of answering mama, he went to the kitchen and made his coffee. My mom followed him, still mad at him, but he ignored mom as if she was invisible.

“Why don’t you answer my question?” She asked

“fix yourself, Judie. You are drunk again,” He said

“I am like this because of you. I am waiting for you to come back,” She said while looking at daddy.

“Even though I know that you are with her,” She added and started to cry. But instead of comforting mom. Dad shows dismay to her that makes her madder.

“What?! you’re with your mistress again!” She screamed,

“Why don’t you answer?” She said and pulled dad’s collar. He dropped his coffee, and the cup shattered on the floor. Mom got shocked when dad slapped her hard on the face enough to make her fall on the floor. She cried so hard and almost felt like dying how dad treated her since she found out that he was cheating on her.

“If you will not stop asking me, I will f*** leave you!” He said and fixed his collar and went to the balcony while mom was crying.

The cup shattered into pieces like my mom’s trust when she found out that daddy was cheating on her with his co-worker and business partner, to the woman that once mom treated as a friend. I closed My door and sat on my bed. They didn’t notice me watching them fighting. I lie on my bed again, composing myself because of the bad dream and the fight I always heard since mom found out about Belinda gives me a headache. She lost her sanity. Mom is always suspicious and paranoid. Belinda is dad’s business partner and another woman. She is the one who organised mom and dad’s marriage, and now she’s the reason why the marriage is breaking. At first, they were scared to let mom know about their relationship, but when mom found out, mom confronted Belinda to stay away from my daddy instead of listening. They continue their relationship, and this time, they don’t care about what mom feels about it or how hurt for her. As long as they are happy, they don’t care.

I can still hear them fighting when I lie down on my bed beside Echo because I still feel sleepy. I didn’t sleep well last night because of my dream. That is why my head is aching, but I can’t go back to sleep because of their screams and fights. Even I cover my ears with a pillow so I cannot hear them fighting. I can still hear them. With my head aching, I decided to stand up and get my cigarette and lighter at the mini table beside the bed and light the cigarette.

“Good morning”, Echo greeted with a smile. He just woke up naked and kissed my cheek, but I didn’t mind him or even look at him.

“What’s the matter, babe?” He asked, but I didn’t answer

Echo has been my boyfriend for almost a year now. He is always there for me, especially when I need him most because he loves to listen to me, and I love him too. He’s a quiet man who loves to wear black and everything black but behind that black craze of him. He is a religious man. He’s not like other men who love to drink, smoke and play around. His life might be boring for others, but he’s the one who brings me closer to God. He reminds me about God every time He sings me the Give thanks. By Don Moen, a Christian song that inspires me every time I hear it. It is so pleasant to my ears but not now because I am stressed and tense because of the fights I saw a while ago. I keep on smoking to ease the tension in my head until mom knocks on my door. I don’t want to open the door, but her knock annoys me. I hurriedly threw my cigarette away, partly opened the door, and asked her what she wanted without even looking at her.

“What’s your plan, Helena?” She asked, but I didn’t answer. After she fights daddy, she’s here knocking on my door and wants to get mad at me without any reason. She pushes the door to get inside, but I keep blocking the door because I don’t want her to get inside to see Echo. Echo hurriedly wears his clothes just in case mom gets inside.

“Your room smells like cigarette smoke!” She shouted. She can smell it from outside, but I don’t care. She keeps pushing the door to get inside, but I keep blocking it so she can’t get inside.

“Open the door?!” She shouted while pushing the door.

“What do you want?” I asked her

“Are you not going to school?!” She madly asked

“No”, I answered, hoping for her to leave me alone.

“Why?” She asked in an irritated voice

“You want to be an out of school c***!” She added

I rolled my eyes and said, “Leave me alone,” I said while keeping on avoiding her from getting inside my room.