Refrainment

Only a fool looks Alpha Zavier in the eye when he speaks. You dare not interrupt him and if you’re an omega girl called Aysel, it’s best to hide. I learnt these tricks early in life. I knew not to look up, not to make a sound and to make myself invisible in the crowd of people that filled the banquet hall to celebrate the Feast of the Moon.

But I never did anything right. When asked to take a step to the left, I ended up at the right, whether I took a step to the left or not. Fate worked in reverse for me. If I sowed good, I reaped misfortune.

It was the reason why, while serving with my head down, trying to make myself smaller than my small frame, I tripped on a fair leg, my tray of wine flying from my hand and tumbling to the ground, crashing – loudly – to the floor and spilling its red content against the fair feet of the Alpha’s daughter, in the middle of the Alpha’s speech. I raised my head and caught the Alpha Zavier’s gaze and at that moment, I’d broken three of the most fundamental rules of avoiding a beating.

At that moment – when I made eye contact with the Alpha and sealed my fate – Skylar, the Alpha’s daughter, let out a blood-curdling scream, as if it took her that ten seconds of silence to process what I’d done. I’d spilt expensive wine on her equally expensive, white, floor length dress.

Her hand smacked my head to the right as an apology dropped from my lips. Then to the left, and right again. She kept smacking me as everyone stared with their mouths open at what I had done until the Alpha cleared his throat and called for order.

“That’s enough, Sky.” Alpha Zavier looked at me as he addressed his daughter, his eyes filled with deep hatred and fiery anger. I gulped, cupping my hot cheeks.

“It’s not. This little bitch ruined my dress!” Skylar cried, her sweet soprano voice raising as she hit me for the last time. “Why are you so jealous of me?” She cried yet again, dragging everyone’s attention back to the scene despite the Alpha’s call for order.

“I’m not,” I answered in a whispery voice with my hands shaking.

My eyes stung with the tears I held at bay, blurring the faces around me. I didn’t want to cry now – not now. It would only make my humiliation worse if I broke down here. I told myself I had to wait – I had to wait for them to take me out for a beating when the enforcers would give me a good reason to cry but I wasn’t strong. My lips quivered as the tears slid down my face. I blinked rapidly to clear them but they fell faster the more I blinked.

Alpha Zavier signalled something at those behind me as his daughter stumped out, pushing people out of her way as she went. Two men grabbed me from behind, dragging me out of the hall. I looked at the few people who still watched the drama unfold as the Alpha went back to his speech, a muscle twitching at the side of his jaw. Only one person watching me looked at me with anything other than scorn in her eyes as the enforcers dragged me away.

They threw me into a dark room, locking the door behind them. This dark room belonged to me. I slept here, had all my possessions – a single bag – in this room, the days I had food, I ate here and every day, I cried in this same room.

Two months ago, I spent two weeks locked up in my room and sometime in the two weeks, my food supply was cut off. I’d starved for at least five days but down here, in the cold, damp basement of the pack house, time became relative. I could have starved for one week or to days, there was never a way to be sure. Everything was dark – every hour of the day, night.

The door handle jiggled as someone tried to get in. The door jammed a lot and needed brute force to open on most days. Skylar came in with her brother and her boyfriend all wearing nasty smirks on their lips.

My eyes lingered on Skylar’s boyfriend for a minute. A few years ago, Lucien had been my best friend. I told him everything. I loved him as a best friend and more.

‘Promise me we’ll never fall apart.’ I held his hand and stared up at him the night before we started high school.

‘You’ve started with your cute sentiments.’ He kissed my nose. I pretended to hate it but it warmed my heart. ‘It’s me and you for life, Ay-babe.’

‘Me and you and Celeste,’ I mentioned my other best friend which made him laugh.

‘Whatever you say, doll.’ The sound of his laughter made my knees weak.

A few years later I found out we were mates so I tried to do something sweet for him, knowing what it’d cost me.

‘Lucien –‘ I just wanted to see him smile.

‘It’s Beta Lucien to you,’ he snapped, his hand around Skylar’s shoulder. The alpha female stared at me with indifference on her face but a spark of glee in her eyes.

‘Beta Lucien, can we – can we talk?’ I watched as he twirled Skylar’s hair between his fingers.

‘We can talk here.’ Someone behind them chuckled at his mocking tone. ‘What do you want? You’re wasting my time.’He stared at the gold watch on his wrist to emphasize his point.

I stretched out flowers with shaky hands while the school watched with bathed breath. It was a secret he kept well but I’d been his best friend since we were in diapers and I knew he loved receiving flowers. He hid that part of himself because it wasn’t considered manly but he didn’t have to be manly with me.

‘I love you.’ Loud guffaws surrounded me. Tears stung my eyes when my best friend and mate joined in the derisive laughter.