A Maid and a Million Men

oy

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o a river steamer before it was commandeered for transport purposes. I don't see how we kept up with the other ships that made up that squadron-I thought the destroyers or torpedo boats or what

wasp-like naval boats, and now there were ships all around us as far as we could see. It was rather a pretty sight: sort of majestic, all these ships loaded with f

re wasn't something on his mind, and anything that was on his mind automatically fell upon mine, for he depended upon little Leona unreservedly. That clerk that got blood poison must have spoiled him: he expected his dog-robber to be clerk, adviser, encyclopedia, file cabinet, errand boy, confidant, valet and information service, a

were truly heroic to some people: they say that every man is a hero to someone somewhere, but if that is so I don't see how the Bible crack about great men being without honor in their own country can also be true. I guess there's no man living who isn't great in the eyes of somebody.

tle Private Canwick as his right-hand man. I certainly did feel important. I wanted to make myself indispensa

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r it. I was beginning to feel a little unstable and Ben was likely to boil over at any t

Compartment D-13, and we were extreme aft and on the water line, which made it necessary to keep the portholes closed all the time. Being so far aft put us in an enviab

verbial sardines-except that those poor fish are only two-deep whereas we were stacked three-deep, with the bottom bunk resting almost on the floor deck and the man on top, Getterlow, unable

as just refreshing enough to keep us alive and aggravate our misery by reminding us how cool and nice it was on deck. Of course, if you held your head under the ventilator for any length of time you might

rays which strayed in from a solitary blue lamp in the middle of the main troop compartment.... Truly there couldn't be any more hell in war than there was in this! The close, stifling, it

hrough the main compartment, and the only way into or out of that equally uninhabitable hole was by a narrow ladder at whose upper end a hatch opened into a paint and carpentry shop-a veritable factory of fumes and odor

ne hell of a place. The only consolation I found in the situation lay in the realization that it would be so much more terrible if the occupants o

d then in the course of our travels about our duties, for Ben was an orderly and Getterlow managed somehow to disappear whenever it came time for drills or other routine company rules. He was a wagoner-in other words, a chauffeur, s

berties, we remained there and suffered the trip as best we could-which was not very well, in the case of Esky, who found it rather close quarters for a healthy he-man of a dog. He was satisfied to stay put for a couple o

and take the risks. He would tuck Esky under my blanket roll when he heard the officers coming down the ladder into the compartment, and Esky stayed there without a wiggle, no matter how long he had to hold this uncomfortable position. It was so dark in there that the inspectors had to carry flash lights, and after the se

given my right eye for a bath-even considered surrendering my honor for one. I tried Christian Science to see if I could make my imagination control my body: if faith can move mountains, it certainly ought to be

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old him, "The General says Chilblaines is sicker'n a dog and ha

hum of pumps and engines. When he finally stumbled back to his berth, he looked as if he had lost twenty pounds, but he managed a hollow-eyed grin and observed, "I hope he's unconscious the rest o' the trip! Might o' known somethin' was

s was an act of Providence intended to safeguard Esky's

eated like this?" He opened his eyes and stared at me. "

, I discovered the remains of a plug of chewing tobacco on the deck. "Here

"Don't ya know I'm sick! Chr

eryone thinks, Ben, when they g

ns. I got out-looking at him made me feel unstea

at I had to endure there. Ben wasn't the only one that was sick. About half the compartment was on the trot to the G.I. can and up on deck every o

hat each one was trying to outdo every other one in the matter of thinking up the dirtiest, vilest, rotten

a dear" now! I knew I was in the a

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r convoy any longer and that we were in the middle of the Atlantic and fair game for submarines, and in spite of hell itself, I felt pretty good that night! And that's saying a mouthful without a single promise for the morrow-for to-mor

ecause that afternoon I received a n

him reading a paper-covered French novel which a colonel had given him the day before. I knew he could read French

se of a passage," he explained, "but now and then I find something that is

rench frankness: the French adore risqué situations and subtly dirty dénouements, but most of their novels and stories are false alarms. I mean

ggestions in it. "Stuff like this," he remarked, as I returned the book to

guess, sir,

k, I've requested the personnel officer to find a vacant se

rely, "I appreciate your good opinion very muc

Finally he spoke. "It just occurs to me, Canwick, that perhaps you might like to make application for appointment as a field clerk. Bet

was and before I could be one I'd have to be discharged from the army; being a field clerk would insure my safe progress and let me out of

a commission as field clerk, I'll see that you get it. If yo

'd rather serve my enlistment and take my chances on promotions.

you go as far as possible, because I think your training and ability deserve it..

unk. He emitted a moan when he saw me, but when I told him the good news he raised himse

ttle shrimp like me gets to be a sergeant and he remains a private. It wasn't as if we were going to do battle with our minds: we were going

same hole the rest o' the pill-rollers see it through." He seemed to think that was a joke, so I laughed with him, but damned if I coul

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ugh, or die in the attempt. I was feeling fine, if it weren't for being so dirty and uncomfortable. I mean,

ning teaching me how to shoot craps. He insisted that I learn. I said I didn't have any money to gamble with, but

you shoot, if it's a

tiently. "Don't you know what Beginners' Luck is

o bet; how to "talk to 'em" and what to do when they obeyed my orders. W

ement: it was just as if I were going into a battle. We joined the game at the star

ap shooters, I gathered from what I'd heard, and Ben insisted on betting against the dice for

throws out a two-dollar bill and declares

a sailor flips out two one-dollar bills, sayin

and let 'em fly across the money. The sail

ailor, pointing to the dice with the tw

ce and Ben said, "Try a five a

roll." I rolled those damned dice until I was blue in the face. Roll 'em and go after 'em; roll 'em and go after 'em; over and over and over again, until I was sweating like a stuck pig. Side-bets wer

hectic and turned to Ben, ready to quit. "Get back there!" he co

little against the dice. Then I lost five dollars more on my roll, and Ben won one against. Then Ben got ma

required just three rolls to ge

llowed him up the ladder and out on deck. When I

a guy I know," he replie

f a chaplain preaching to a crowd on the deck right over our compartment. It struck me

rin on his ugly face. "Come on!" he

that the voice of that chaplain upstairs was audible even

"He has about as much business in the

matter with

fashioned and too damned serious and literal-minded for an arm

a bet against the dice and lost a dollar. On the ne

announced Ben, thro

olled out a nine and repeated pro

d and out rol

restraining me from picking

ay safe,"

t, Leony-l

run wild, until Ben advised

oked up and discovered that a ventilator shaft opened almost directly over my head, which explained how the chap

their voices more or less subdued. Gambling was prohibited,

corporal and a sailor. The voices began to sound a little higher and louder, as the men forgot to

pstairs if he wanted me, and he slid down into my place in the circle. I scu

something and I guessed at once that th

self-respecting man would indulge in these wasteful pastimes. How could he, and e

the ventilator whose mouth was just behind him. "BOX CAR, papa! BOX

his exhortations, in such a loud tone that he almost succeeded in drowning out the cries of "Crap him! Cr

ace of such temptations as would likely be faced in France, the reverend gentleman was again rewarded by another, even louder and better antiphonal chant from below.

wer was Ben's, for that "LITTLE JOE!" sound

r, but he resolutely continued on the subject of lust and the wages of sin. "How would I feel

were timed for precisely that moment,

the gang. The game broke up pronto and Ben came with me into our bunk hole, where he counted out the total receipt

ng about any crap game around there! Hadn't seen a pair of dice for months! No, sir, not in here! The officer smiled kno

"Aw, the Chaplain's a blowey bloke hany'ow an' oo in 'ell 'ankers hafter 'earin' habout '

herwise, Ben probably would have stuck around there until he'd lost

in this hole of agony. That bath couldn't be put off another day. 'Twas better to have laved and lost all than never to have la