Stories of Comedy

companions, a lover of good fun and good whiskey, was looked up to, rather, by his brother fishermen, as an intelligent fellow, and few boats brought more fish to market than

tion is less incensed at a rival's triumph than the great man of a village. If we pursue this descending scale, w

her magisterially upon nautical subjects; at the same time the stranger was equally inclined to assume the high hand over him, till at last the new-comer made a regular outbreak by exclaiming, "Ah, tare-and-ouns, lave aff your balderdash, Mr. O'R

rny; "what the dickens do you know about sayfarin' farth

hin," says t

bowld with my name?

ly Mullins knows me well, and maybe I don't know you and yours as well as the mother that bore you, aye,

houghts than your own, Mr. Whippersn

od a name as your own, Mr. O'Reirdon, for

than there's good o

n o' your own twice remov

an's boy you'd be that left t

e s

I'm glad to see you, anyhow, agin; but a little thravellin' puts

an that's only fishin' aff the land all his life has no business to comp

illing to admit his ignorance, he covered his retreat with the usual address of his countrymen, and

to take a different turn, in order to lead from that which had

, and various strictures as to the utility of the latter were indul

lan is the finest field o' whate mortial eyes was ever set

hat's a plain-spoken, quite (quiet) man, and simple like, should have finer craps than Pether Kelly o' the big farm beyant, that knows all ab

the former speaker, "if that could do him any good, but he isn't f

e day, that I hear is a wondherful edicated man, and was brought over here to show us all a patthern,-well, Pether K

ther o' having more prate than

yson that the man that done out the Scotch steward ought

at he has a power o' prate, and the gift o' the gab, and all to that. I own to you that he has the-o-ry

pproving thump of his brawny fist upon the table,

versus practice, "but larnin' is a fine thing, and sure where would the world be a

are they good for, but to turn good sailors into kitchen-maids, bilin' a big pot o' wather and oilin' their fire-irons, and throwin' coals an the

good to go fasther nor

o' Sheba, said there was

an, "fair and aisy goes far in

ment they're makin' in the harbor o' H

e an improvement first," s

greatest o' good it is, takin' up the bi

wondher o' that? sure

he rocks was bare; but up at Howth, they cut a

why how could

I never seen it, but heerd it described by the lord to some gintlemin and ladies one day in his garden where I was helpin' the garde

s there can a'most live under wather; and goes down looking for diamonds, and has a sledge-hammer in their hand,

ngineer goes down is, he has a little bell wid him, and while h

h be

a lie

d bell," said O'Reir

not a bli

in to that? as if the ringin' iv the bell, barrin' it was a

' 's unposs

' that; but I say the

r complete in the demonstheration o' the mashine; i

tiently. "Do you mane for to say th

o," said

said the promulg

ut it is not by the ringin

said the other, with a half-o

e returned the look with interest,-

ension in the Oh!-"but to talk of the ringin' iv a bell doin' the like is beyant the

is jommethry," said the twi

riumph, which rose in proportion as he carri

times, nor have belief in larnin'; and you may say it's jommethry if

the chat, another quart. Augh! yiz may talk till yo're black in the face about your invintions, and your staymers, and bell ringin' and gash, and railroads; but here's long life and success to the man that invinted the imp

from his cottage, rather later than usual, with his eyes bearing eye witness to the carouse of the preceding night. He had not a headache, however; whether it was that Barny was too experienced a campaigner under the banner

oin' his elders, that saw him runnin' about the place, a gassoon, that one could tache a few months before"; 'twas too bad. Barny saw his reputation was in a ticklish position, and began to consider how his disgrace could be retrieved. The very name of Fingal was hateful to him; it was a plague-spot on his peace that festered there incurably. He first thought of leaving Kinsale altogether; but flight implied so much of defeat, that he did not long indulge in that notion. No; he would stay, "in spite of all the O'Sullivans, kith and kin, breed, seed, and generation." But at the same time he knew he should never hear the end of that hateful place, Fingal; and if Barny had had the power, he would have enacted a penal statute, making it death to name the accursed spot, wherever

nowledge by some circuitous route, that would not betray the end he was working for. To this purpose, fifty stratagems were raised, and demolished in half as many minutes, in the fertile brain of Barny, as he strided along the shore; and as he was working hard at the fifty-first, it was knocked all to pieces by his jostling against some one whom he never perceived he was approaching, so immersed was

t myself with saying, that Barny looked a much happier man the next day. Instead of wearing his hat slouched, and casting his eyes on the ground, he walked about with his usual unconcern, and gave his nod and the passing word of civilitude to every friend he met; he rolled his quid of tobacco about in his jaw with an air of superior enjoyment, and if disturbed in his narcotic amusement by a question, he

ly person to join him in a "spec," as he called it (a favorite abbreviation of his for the word "speculation"

"an' what is it brings you here, Barny," asked Peter

far enough too I'll be in her; an' indeed it's p

t me to go along

knowledgeable man an land, but I'm afe

talking about me a

if you'd come wid me and take a turn in the praty-field, I'll be behouldin

Barny," sai

forth the extensive profits that had been realized at various "specs" that had been made by his neighbors in exporting potatoes. "And sure," said Barny, "why shouldn't you do the same, and they are r

re we stand, at this present, there's no boat at all at all betu

for him that commands her-I b'lieve I need say nothin' about that." And Barny gave a toss of his h

here." But Peter being a knowledgeable man, and up to all the "saycrets o' the airth, and understanding the the-o-ry and the che-mis-thery," overruled Barny's proposition, and determined upon a cargo of scalpeens (which name they gave to pickled mackerel), as a preferable merchandise, quite forgetting that Dublin Bay herrings were a much better and as cheap

putting to sea, and nothing was now wanting but Barny's or

e. One of his fellow-boatmen, at last, said to him, "Why thin, Barny O'Reirdon, what the divil is come over you, at all

ness anyhow, an' it's hard, so it is, if a man c

a pity more betoken, as I said befor

bid you, and don't be out of her on your apperl, by no manner o' manes, for one mini

, I never seen you afea

lave you that your own mother wouldn't know you with the lickin' I'd give you; but I scorn your dirty insinuation; no man ever seen Barny O'Reirdon afeard yet, anyhow. Howld your prate, I tell

r the delay, by declaring that he had a warnin' givin him in a dhrame (Glory be to God), a

running in a great hurry down to the shore, and, jumping aboard, he gave orders to make all sail, and taking the helm of the hooker, he turned her head to the sea, and soon

id the fisherman next in authority to O'Reirdon, as soon

ne ud think you were never at say before, you wor in such a hurr

the boat, "I was thinkin' myself, as well as Jemmy, that we lost two fine days

ts on the dhry land as in the say, for all we'll catch if we start on an unlooky day; and sure, I towld you I was waitin' only till I had it given to me to undherstan' that it was looky to sa

n' aboot it now, anyhow; but w

tell how the wind is like to hould on

ny, that you're up to the

in' me-tare-an-ouns, do you think me sich a bladdherang a

to ax you what coorse

re at the helm, and a weight on my mind, and it's fitther for you, Jim, to mind your own business and lay me to mind mine; away

er, but could not hold on a wind with the same tenacity as the hooker, whose qualities in this particula

eting with the "long sailor," to ascertain that this ship, then lying in the harbor, was going to the very place Barny wanted to reach. Barny's plan of action was de

, encouraged by a bolder science, relies on the unseen agency of nature, depending on the fidelity of an atom of iron to the mystic law that claims its homage in the north. This is one refinement o

on, for he did not divulge to his companions the originality of his proceeding; he wished them to believe he was only pro

hem, dreaded lest any one should fathom his motives. All that day Barny held on the same course as his leader, keeping at a respectful distance, however, "for fear 'twould look like dodging her," as he said to himself; but as night closed in, so closed in Barny with the ship, and kept

thought it was." His companions, too, began to question Barny on the subject, but to their queries he presented an impenetrable front of composure, and said "it was always the best plan to keep a good bowld offin'." In two days more, however, the weat

Barny began to conjecture what the deuce the ship could want with him, and commenced inventing answers to the questions he thought it possible might be put to him in case th

goin' an my busin

?" said th

ther where a poor man like

the deuce you've been followi

in, blur-an-agers, do you th

ike it," sai

e niver thravel the

s a great difference between a ship

igh-road sarves a coach and four and a lowback ca

the cases are not the same, Paddy, and I ca

ve anything about it?" aske

fellow," said the captain; "and my own notion is, tha

aid Barny, with a

object to tell?"

s vessels is bound to sail under saycret ordhers?" sai

boat sailing under secret orders; for, by this time, the whole broadside of the

le makes fools l

before long, for I've a notion that you're cursedly in the wrong box, as cunning a fe

n it. Why, tare-an-ouns, sure I've as much right to be here as you, though I haven't as big a ship nor as f

g to you, so go to the d-l your own way." And away bore the sh

you tell him?" s

see, how do I know but maybe he might be goin' to the same place himself, and m

" And their inquiries being satisfied, the day passed as

t seriously uneasy at the length of the voyage, and the likely greater length, for anything he could see to the contrary; and, urged at last by his own alarms an

as she got christened, was under his lee, came on

s, Captain dear, do you

said th

w yourself!

me I do," sai

, in his most insinuating tone; "but whin will

ut three months,"

e months!-arrah, it's jokin' you are, Ca

righten you?" a

as I wanted to go there too, I thought I couldn't do better nor to folly a knowl

think I am going?"

id Barny, "isn'

e captain, "i

d Barny, "what'll I d