The Confessions of Artemas Quibble

as I one day unexpectedly entered the latter's office

a rather soft hand. "Your name is well known to me, although

on, but conscious somehow of the smell of money about him. For he was short and fat and wore a brown surtout and a blac

ung fool hardly out of my teens, and the sight of a pretty face and a tearful story of woe were too much for me. She was an actress. Comprenez? A sort of Lydia La

ked Gottlieb.

story," assented Dill

d a well-f

chair and hitch

is a rat! I could call and take her out to dinner, and all that, but-pst! nothing more! and she was always telling me how I was her good angel and inspired h

ghed g

a pale-faced woman who can't speak the King's English properly and whose first husband is a waiter-yes, a waiter to-day, understand, in a railroad restaurant at Baltimore! It makes me sick every time I go to Washington. I can't eat-fact! So I hired a lawyer for her-you know him, I guess-Bunce. Oscar Willoughby Bunce! And he prepared divorce papers-Oh, we had cause enough! And the next time Hawkins -that was the husband's name, Arthur P

s cigar for a few moments be

spend my money and drink my wine and jolly me up to beat the cars; but once I'd married her she changed completely. Instead of a dashing, snappy, tantalizing sort of a little Yum-Yum, she turned religious and settled down so you wouldn't have known her. There was nothing in it. Instead of a peach I had acquired a lemon. I expected champagne and found I was drinking buttermilk. Get me? You would never have guessed she'd been inside a theatre in her life. Well, we

rid of her," fi

d Dillingham. "How

mplished without running grave personal risks-not on your part, but on ours. Such risks must be compensated for. What you desire, I take it, is to have your marriage annulled. To do that it will be necessary to prove that the di

. "Free me from this woman and I'll g

ve thousand dollar

thousand dollars," said

do exactly what we tell y

o," replied

nd the suit properly commenced. Now, perhaps Bunce served the wrong man. He didn't know Hawkins. The latter was merely pointed out to him

there. After Hawkins was served he retained a lawyer. I know that, da

name?" asked G

E. Crookshank-dow

ve a short,

lingham. Crookshank d

ence for the space o

of thing costs money?" fi

forehead with his h

n't that taking a pr

egular-catch on? You tell us nothing. We ask you nothing. We make our investigation. Much to our surprise and horror, we discover that the defendant never was served-perhaps that he never even knew o

Dillingham hesitantly, "and I leave the ma

," replied Gottlieb. "We may be able to hand

r my perturbation. I had, of course, known that from time to time we had skated on thin ice; but this was the first occas

irely too close to the wind?" I as

ply be one swearing against the other. We have a perfect right to believe Hawkins in preference to Bunce if we choose. Anyhow, we're not the judge. All we have to do is to present the evidence at our comma

rious premonition in the matter. "Something

irritation. "Don't lose your nerve. You've done m

had taken a strong dislike to her husband, with his sleek confidence and cold-blooded selfishness. In addition, I was quite sure that ther

he beggar do his own di

inquired Gottlieb innocently. "

remained among the theatrical and sporting class to which I had received my first introduction on coming to New York, I now occupied a large brick house with stone trimmings in Washington Square, where I entertaine

g over the roofs of the respectable mansions round about me. It was a gay life, but it cost money-almost more money than I could make; and my share in the thirty-five thousand dollars offered by our friend Dillingham would go a long

ttention and thrusting his head forward when addressed that were unmistakable. He was waiting, it turned out, for Gottlieb, who had sent for him to come on from Baltimore; and the readiness with which he had responded

red by your wife is inoperative-Tut! Tut! Don't interrupt me!"-for Hawkins had opened his mouth in protest-"for the reason -for the ve

ned his watery eyes fro

" he stuttered.

served with such a paper, it was quite impossibl

yelid to a narrow sli

as waitin' on a dinin'- car that ran at the t

as been most outrageously treated! If you will kindly retire for a moment-as I have a matter which I w

his pocket, and announced that he was ready to sign his "davy." Although I had no taste for the busines

URT-COUNTY

gainst ) Action for Annulment of Ma

OUNTY OF NE

eason unknown to deponent the defendant left his house and did not thereafter return; that he has recently learned that said defendant, in July, 1887, procured a decree of divorce against him in the county and State of New York, upon grounds of which deponent is totally ignorant, and that thereafter said defendant contracted a marriage w

fore me this

er, 1894 ) ART

C M.

lic, New Yo

if he knew that by some trick of fate he had me in his power and was gloating over it. Even while he was swearing to the paper he had a sickly sne

he trut

ffidavits before, merely laughed, but the word

ing! Do you swear that this

wer, somewhat chagrined at my not taking

en. "Show the gentleman ou

given all the money I

ad

ad insisted vehemently that he had personally delivered them to Hawkins in the office of the Astor House. Gottlieb had gently assured him that he must be mistaken and bowed him out, but Bunce for once in his little toy career was "all up in the air." He felt that his own integrity was, in some myst

nce's nose out of joint for good. It is nearly seven years no

I, "what is

aring and you'll find

fail if you want

y's office. The room, like most old-fashioned lawyers' offices, was but dimly lighted, and on entering I found the other side, with the exception of Mrs. Dillingham, already there. The referee sat at one end of a large table, surrounded by his books, with his stenographer beside him; and to his left sat Bunce and a lawyer named Stires, the present "attorney

have kept you waiting, but I was unavoidably detained. Shall I sit do

d his hat, and sat down bash

n?" inquired the referee over his s

eagerness to tell what he knew, insta

prepared the papers in the original case of Hawkins versus Hawkin

Hawkins myself and e

ry much as he is

the person you served with the summons and complaint?" in

where by the shape of his nose. I took especial pains to rema

tlieb. Then turning to the strange

r name?" he

know very well, Mr. Gottli

gentleman who has jus

nc

ver saw him in my life

th any papers-in the Asto

ev

your bu

n under

estore order. As for myself, in spite of my anxiety over the whole affair, I could not do otherwise than laugh heartily over Bunce's ludicrous mistake. When Hawkins was brought in from outside, and, after proclaiming his identity, denied ever

swear the matter through. Moreover, the only person who could have disproved the latter's testimony or given evidence that might have militated against its probability-to wit, Crookshank, his former attorney-was dead and buried, and it seemed as if truth were b

thousand dollars ear

igar as we were din

ins stays bought

ate's evidence, no one would believe him! Have another glass of this vin

ing my goblet with creaming wine; "and here's to

glasses and drained

arried a card regularly in the English journals and received many retainers from across the water; in fact, we controlled practically all the theatrical business in the city, drawing the contracts for the managers and being constantly engaged in litigations on their behalf. We had long since abandoned as trivial all my various profit-sharing schem

ed the one, and I cannot even now charge Gottlieb with recklessness in taking the chances that he did; but, as luck would have it, there were two facts connected with the D

oney if not experience, and who needed the one as much as he had a super- abundance of the other. He made a fairly liberal allowance for his child and its mother, and since this was paid monthly through our office, I had an opportunity of making their acquaintance; and I confess that I had no sooner done so than I bega

tally she extracted from the susceptible Cohen various trifles in the way of information which later proved highly inconvenient. Yet she never asked me or my partner any questions or showed the slightest resentment a

had passed completely out of our minds. I had that winter been giving a series of dinners at my house to actor clients and their managers, and these had proved conspicuously successful for the reason that my guests were of the sort who, after the wine had be

antastic dance amid the wine-glasses, when my butler touched me upon the arm and whispered that Mr. Gottlieb was outside and desired to see me on urgent business. Excusing myself, I hurried out, greeting my partner rather impatiently, as I disliked to be interrupted by

s in regard to the original divorce proceedings. They've got one in which he admits being served by Bunce in the Astor House and asks Crookshank to appear for him. They've got another, written after Dillingham had fixed him, telling Crookshank to put in no defence. Yesterday she and

urning quite faint.

General Sessions. They are going to ask for fifty thousand dollars bail. We've got to have it. It's the only thing that stands bet

seen him?"

gave him too much money. He says now that unless we protect him and keep him out of State prison he will give up the whole game to the district attorney. That would be fun, wouldn't it? The

fifty thousand dollars

her that he was properly served, but that she told this to Dillingham, and that he and Hawkins talked the thing over in her presence. Besides, Cohen confessed to me to-day that she had pumped him all about Hawkins's comi

er. He greeted me in much the same inhospitable fashion that I had accorded to Gottlieb, but only a few words were needed to convince him of the gravity of the case. I had never loathed the man more

lars to keep you and me ou

yellow and gave a s

he muttered

nd to have it at my office at ten o'clock. Yet, as I bade him good night, he had another turn of terror and his teeth chattered in his head as he stammered out that he was a ruined man, that he had cast off a good wife for a deceitful hussy who only wanted his money, that he had lost his child, that now his career was over, and that, unless I stood by him, he would end his days in prison. This was hardly the sort of encouragement I wanted; and though his words br

lectricity against the blue-black zenith, yet never before had I felt its depressing character. It was the green of jealousy, of disappointment, of envy, hatred, and malice and all uncharitableness! The city trembled in its sleep and the throbbing of its m

were bound to me in some devil's bargain-no kith, no kin, nor the memory of a mother's love. As I lingered there, like some outcast beast waiting for day to drive me to my lair, I envied, with a fierce hatred and with a bitter and passionate pity for myself, those to whom Fate had been more kind and giv