LOVE AND HATE

oosing with her eyes who would be her next prey, while I felt

nd looked at his friends, fo

ds'' had increased... I counted. Along with Josh, there were three

e me crazy '' Josh said tal

un out of there, but I was so appalled by what I was witnessin

ng who would be her ''lover''. The chosen one obviously appreciate

tall guy the same color

built, but he di

ittle animal wanting

, getting naked right the

er, but I felt uneasy. Every moment my eyes flew to Josh who watched everything with his arms crossed, doing nothing. I wasn't getting relaxed

ondom down his long cock, then l

d did as he asked, opening myself all over for him. A

is chest while his friend watched me masturbating and me acting on autopilot. I was

at when his friend was looking at us, he looked cold and calculating as if he didn't want to show something - I could be wrong, but I thought so. In a matter of seconds, he changed with me and hugged me tight and the chemistry between us exploded

ed to c

through my guts and I hated myself for it. It was more than obvious that he wanted nothing more than just that with me. He just w

then and there, I swore I would never allow him to touch me again or humiliate me like that. I swall

ly went to the door crazy to get out of there. I couldn't take that oppr

ave more parties between them and invite more

iend? Is it all closed like tha

t'' Cristina said app

up my face

ose. I said, not looking at them, especiall

long with hi

again '' Josh said when

could stay there and chat with him! Let her stay, because

after me

nd '' she said g

es, euphoric as hell, while I considered throwing mysel

orst experien

re I would go wherever he wasn't. His mere presence already made me euphoric and anxious, and I hated feeling all that. Josh w

with me. Of course, I refused, however, Cristina being the ''good

m another room) called him and said she wanted the money to buy

ristina who was laughing hysterically, while the girl practically ran out of the gate into the school to hide in the room, such was her shame. I was horrified by what I had heard.

and I kept runni

'' who was with him behind the back of the official girlfriend. I was the girl he fucked when no one was looking. Why would he want to have something with me? Besides, I was ugly, I didn't even wear my own hair, and I had ugly and crooked teeth – nobody noticed me and when that happened it was to point out how ugly I was – something I was born knowing

who began to notice that every time Josh saw me, he stared at me for a long time, ev

k, Josh is sluggish lookin

t to hurt myself anymore, and this thing of being without commitment was not for me. I would get a boyfriend and rub it i

not to listen to what my friend said, but it was un

lidays. It was Friday afternoon. We were all dressed up. I wore overalls and high heels, it was even '

the room that would be the party, Josh a

tely came to a s

beautiful and

he was without his customary cap, leaving his beautiful long hair showing and damp. His serious eyes landed on me. I noticed that he tried to ignore me, mor

Silvania – his girlfriend – She got irritated with him because she didn't want him to keep grabbing her and pushing him in front of ev

called me to go to the ba

the door, Josh was sitting in a chair with his feet

ach other for

my mouth, I was closed, a

id dryly, and Cristi

ting up and removing th

arm, while I waited in the dist

y mood would flip from

came laug

wants to hook up

tay with him! '' I sai

him a di

You're mad today huh? '' I left her tal

school. I felt bad, the anxiety crisis started to haunt me and it alarmed me. Soon Josh passed with his group, I don't know what they said but

ck with my friend to take him back to the street. I need

ome again, I noticed

man, Josh's friend on the moto

ed and loo

ughing, and the tall gu

'' And I knew t

ervor that both and especially Josh would fall

d until I couldn'

o when a ''friend'' of the family questioned my mother because I didn't wear good hair, t

beautiful curly hair that would look good on me. My mom insisted on paying, so she took my organic hair herself and applied the beautifying products while the salon o

very beautiful, the difference was so great that when I walked down the street, I managed to draw ever

horeographer of the dance group and I felt at peace (on the one hand). I

efore, the organic one) in the ''will I or won't I'' joke on Orkut. Then a

have MSN

ay, I showed it to my mother and soon she liked it.

ht away. I left it there to s

re. We always exchanged looks, he didn't hide his desire for me in his

to one of my classmates. From what I heard, he was asking his friend t

up and down, he

she doesn't want to

ech, his hints at me. Robert immedia

rolled

e, but someone else would. I had to love myself, and Josh wasn't going to dictate that in my life. I would name i