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The Life and Adventures of Maj. Roger Sherman Potter

Chapter 3 IN WHICH IS RELATED A PLEASANT MEETING WITH A RENOWNED MAJOR.

Word Count: 3267    |    Released on: 01/12/2017

oo, I heard my father muttering his misgivings in an adjoining chamber. My valise, nicely packed and strapped, stood by the door; this I thought a contrivance of my father to shake m

are to be gained by going abroad. She did everything with great cheerfulness of manner, and though the frosts of fifty winters had made snow-white

gate, where we halted before taking a last parting. The favorite watch-dog, Tray, who had gamboled with me in my boyhood, and held himself worthy of protecting me in his old age, followed us, wagging his tail in evident delight at the prospect of bearing me company. A soft breeze fanned

, and the breeze played with his gray locks, and his eyes filled with tears, "if go you must,

ely, and after gently rebuking my father for his attempt, as she styled it, to excite me to melancholy, which she held to be a great enemy to youth, kissed me and bade me adieu. And I set out, taking the road to Barnstable. They both leaned over the little gate, and twice exchanged adieus with me, as I turned to have a last

in his memory, and would have recounted were he possessed of the power of speech. Having ascended a piece of rising ground, about a mile from the house, I sat down by the road side, intending to take leave of him and send him back, according to the request of my mother. He immediately planted himself close by my side, laid his great paw incessantly upon my knee, and, with looks of regret, would have exp

re meet again. He seemed to understand all I said to him, and, as I patted him gently upon the head, repaid my friendship by caressing my hand, and turning upon me several sympathetic looks. On telling him that he must go home, he hun

nature, was mounted upon a high seat, made of a bundle of sheepskins. He was squint eyed, spacious mouthed, and had a nose that was flat to the end, which turned up in a short pug. His hair was of a sandy color, and parted carelessly down the center; and his dress was of well-worn

tranger!" said he, in a shrill, squeaking voice, "which way are you journeying?-what can I do to serve you this morning?" He reined up his team, and dismounting in a trice, extended his hand with a heartiness I was surprised to find in a stranger. "J

have been thrown up and down by the tide of political fortune and misfortune until I became sickened of it, and resolved to seek obscurity, and live like an honest man by the sale of tin, and such wares as the good people of this remote part of the world might have a demand for. You must not judge me by the calling necessity has now forced me to follow, for I hold it right, and in strict accordance with the nature of our institutions, that when fortune f

of the neighboring villages had taken so strongly to the temperance cause, that no spiritous liquors could be got of anybody but the doctor, and then only on a certificate from the parson, who vouched for your good character, and set forth that to the best of his belief, it would be used only as a medicine. And the doctor, who had a scrupulous regard for all good and well regulated communities, took a joint interest with the parson, and so raised the price of this sort of medicine as to make the trade an extremely lucrative one. But as the rich were never known to be denied, and the poor had not money enough to enjoy so expensive a cure for their maladies, which were greatest in number,

recounting a little affair of honor he had been called upon to adjust but a few minutes before, and a

cked in each other's arms. 'Faith of my father!' says I, 'who's here?' A slightly guttural sound was followed by a hoarse voice answering, 'It's only me.' And then a lean figure, with two well-blacked eyes, and a face otherwise disfigured, disconnected itself from its fellow, rose to its haunches, and stared at me with wild dismay. A white neckcloth, somewhat besmeared with blood, denoted his profession. On coming to his senses he aroused his companion, and commenced charging him with being the cause of the sad plight he was in. Neither seemed to have a very distinct recollection of the event that had founed them in a condition so disgraceful t

absolutely necessary that they have something to debate on their way home. The doctor inquired of the parson, what he thought of the doctrine held by many popular divines, that God made Moses and Elijah visible to the Apostles on the occasion of the transfiguration. The parson, after pausing a few moments, and remarking that he had a curious feeling in his head, which seemed to sit unsafely upon his shoulders, replied that the question was of too abstruse a nature to be debated by any but members of his own profession, to which it of right belonged. If he were to s

s fear of having done him bodily injury, that he seized him in his arms, and, thus embraced, they had slept until I disturbed them. Each now commenced giving a confused version of the affair, criminating and recriminating in a manner that only served to increase the disgrace to which it attached.

ood causes, and for the advancement of a common humanity. In order to settle the questions they had attempted to debate, I proposed that they adopt the rule laid down by our noisy Congressmen, each being satisfied in his own mind that he had demolished the arguments of the other, and for ever settled the question at issue. The battering they had given each other was a thing of the past. Was it not better then to let a bygone be a bygone, rather than seek a technical satisfaction, that while it afforded the public some amusement would only bring themselves a great deal of pain? They could no more recall the past than they could make a set of rules for governing the appetites of the people. There were always simpletons enough to believe that they could be cured of consumption by taking such nostrums as cod liver oil and Wistar's Balsam; so also would the world always be

edress the wrongs of thirsty humanity, he kept a sharp eye to the equivalent, and had an inveterate hatred of all who opposed his free trade principles, which, in a measure, accounted for the sto

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1 Chapter 1 WHICH TREATS OF THINGS NOT PARTICULARLY INTERESTING, AND MIGHT HAVE BEEN OMITTED WITHOUT PREJUDICE TO THIS HISTORY.2 Chapter 2 WHICH TREATS OF HOW I LEFT MY NATIVE CAPE, AND SUNDRY OTHER MATTERS.3 Chapter 3 IN WHICH IS RELATED A PLEASANT MEETING WITH A RENOWNED MAJOR.4 Chapter 4 WHICH TREATS OF HOW THE MAJOR FELL AMONG POLITICIANS AND OTHER NEW YORK VAGABONDS.5 Chapter 5 IN WHICH IS RELATED HOW PLEASANTLY THE MAJOR TOOK HIS MISFORTUNES.6 Chapter 6 WHAT TOOK PLACE BETWEEN THE MAJOR AND THE FISHMONGER.7 Chapter 7 THE MAJOR RESUMES THE STORY OF HIS ADVENTURES IN NEW YORK.8 Chapter 8 IN WHICH MAJOR POTTER ENCOUNTERS A SWINE DRIVER, AND TRADES WITH HIM FOR AN INTELLIGENT PIG.9 Chapter 9 WHICH TREATS OF HOW MAJOR POTTER ARRIVED IN BARNSTABLE, AND SUNDRY OTHER QUEER THINGS, WITHOUT WHICH THIS HISTORY WOULD NOT BE PERFECT.10 Chapter 10 WHICH TREATS OF TWO STRANGE CHARACTERS I MET AT THE INDEPENDENT TEMPERANCE HOTEL.11 Chapter 11 IN WHICH THERE IS AN INTERESTING MEETING BETWEEN MAJOR POTTER AND HIS WIFE POLLY.12 Chapter 12 WHEREIN IS RECORDED EVENTS WHICH TOOK PLACE ON THE DAY FOLLOWING THE MAJOR'S ARRIVAL AT BARNSTABLE, WITH SUNDRY OTHER QUEER THINGS.13 Chapter 13 WHICH TREATS OF WHAT WAS DONE WITH THE PIG; AND ALSO OF THE LECTURE ON CRABBE, BY GILES SHERIDAN, AND VARIOUS THINGS.14 Chapter 14 IN WHICH THE READER IS INFORMED HOW MAJOR ROGER POTTER, IN LOVE OF HIS COUNTRY, AND TO SUSTAIN THE HONOR OF HIS PROFESSION, DISPLAYED HIS COURAGE DURING A STORM.15 Chapter 15 WHICH TREATS OF A PARTY OF YACHTERS MET ON THE SOUND, AND WHAT PAINS THEY TOOK TO COMFORT THE MAJOR, ON BEING MADE ACQUAINTED WITH HIS VARIOUS EXPLOITS.16 Chapter 16 WHICH TREATS OF HOW THE MERRY VOYAGERS MADE MUCH OF MAJOR ROGER POTTER, AND HOW THEY INVITED HIM TO AN INTERVIEW WITH THE COMMODORE OF THE FLEET.17 Chapter 17 WHICH RELATES HOW THE MAJOR WAS RECEIVED BY THE COMMODORE OF THE YACHT SQUADRON, AND SUNDRY OTHER QUEER THINGS, WITHOUT WHICH THIS HISTORY WOULD NOT SUSTAIN ITS CHARACTER FOR TRUTH.18 Chapter 18 WHICH RELATES HOW THE MAJOR WAS RESTORED TO PERFECT HEALTH; AND ALSO AN AUTHENTIC DESCRIPTION OF WHAT TOOK PLACE ON HIS ARRIVAL IN NEW YORK.19 Chapter 19 WHICH TREATS OF MANY THINGS UNIQUE AND WONDERFUL, ALL OF WHICH TOOK PLACE WHEN THE MAJOR ARRIVED AT THE GREAT ST. NICHOLAS HOTEL.20 Chapter 20 WHICH CAREFULLY RECORDS WHAT PASSED BETWEEN THE MAJOR AND THE MAYOR-HOW THEY MADE SPEECHES, AND WERE SERENADED.21 Chapter 21 IN WHICH MAJOR ROGER POTTER IS FOUND ALMOST SUFFOCATED; AND HOW HE DECLARES THAT MEN OF LOWLY BIRTH BECOME DANGEROUS WHEN ELEVATED TO POWER.22 Chapter 22 WHICH TREATS OF HOW THE MAJOR RECEIVED THE CALLS OF DISTINGUISHED PERSONS, AND HOW HE DISCOVERED THE OBJECT OF HIS MISSION.23 Chapter 23 RELATING TO THE APPEARANCE OF AN UNEXPECTED CHARACTER, WHICH GRIEVOUSLY DISTURBED THE MAJOR'S EQUANIMITY.24 Chapter 24 WHICH DESCRIBES WHAT TOOK PLACE WHEN THE MAJOR RETURNED TO THE SAINT NICHOLAS; WITH AN ACCOUNT OF HOW HE GOT INTO DEBT AT THE ASTOR, AND VARIOUS OTHER THINGS.25 Chapter 25 WHICH DESCRIBES SEVERAL STRANGE INCIDENTS THAT TOOK PLACE, AND MUST BE RECORDED, OR THE TRUTH OF THIS HISTORY MAY BE QUESTIONED.26 Chapter 26 WHICH RELATES THE VERY UNMILITARY PREDICAMENT THE MAJOR WAS FOUND IN ON THE FOLLOWING MORNING, WHEN HIS PRESENCE WAS EXPECTED AT THE REVIEW.27 Chapter 27 WHICH RELATES HOW THE MAJOR WAS RESTORED TO CONSCIOUSNESS; AND OF THE STORY OF AN ECCENTRIC CRITIC.28 Chapter 28 IN WHICH WILL BE FOUND SEVERAL THINGS COMMON TO MILITARY POLITICIANS; ALSO, A CURIOUS HISTORY OF THE CRITICS, AS RELATED BY MR. TICKLER.29 Chapter 29 GENERAL POTTER RECEIVES A LETTER FROM HIS WIFE POLLY; HE ENGAGES TO FIGHT THE KING OF THE KALORAMAS; PREPARES TO LEAVE FOR WASHINGTON; AND VARIOUS THINGS CURIOUS AND INTERESTING.30 Chapter 30 GENERAL ROGER POTTER AND HIS SECRETARY ARRIVE IN WASHINGTON, TO THE NO SMALL ALARM OF CERTAIN ADEPTS AND OFFICE SEEKERS.31 Chapter 31 IN WHICH IS RECORDED A CURIOUS CONVERSATION THAT TOOK PLACE BETWEEN STRETCHER, TICKLER, AND THE GENERAL, AND WHAT THEY THOUGHT OF THE STATE OF THE NATION.32 Chapter 32 WHICH RECORDS HOW THE GENERAL GOT HIS COMMISSION, AND RETURNED TO NEW YORK, WITH SEVERAL OTHER THINGS COMMON TO POLITICIANS.33 Chapter 33 OF THE MEETING BETWEEN THE GENERAL AND HIS SECRETARY, WHO RELATES AN AFFAIR OF GALLANTRY THAT HAD WELL-NIGH COST HIM HIS LIFE; ALSO, OF THE DEPARTURE FOR KALORAMA.34 Chapter 34 CONTAINING A FAITHFUL ACCOUNT OF WHAT TOOK PLACE WHEN GENERAL POTTER AND HIS SECRETARY CROSSED THE LINE, AND HOW HE RODE THE FLYING HORSE.35 Chapter 35 OF THE GENERAL'S RECOVERY, AND HIS INTERVIEW WITH MR. TICKLER; ALSO, OF THE LANDING AT BUZABUB, AND VARIOUS OTHER STRANGE AND AMUSING THINGS.36 Chapter 36 ONE OF THE MOST TRUTHFUL ACCOUNTS OF HOW GENERAL POTTER SPENT A NIGHT AMONG THE DEAD.37 Chapter 37 IN WHICH THE READER WILL FIND THE MOST FAITHFUL ACCOUNT OF THE JOURNEY TO NEZUB; AND ALSO WHAT TOOK PLACE WHEN GENERAL POTTER WAS PRESENTED TO THE KING.38 Chapter 38 WHICH DESCRIBES THE ARRIVAL OF AN ARMY OF VAGABONDS; AND HOW THE GREAT BATTLE OF THE BANANA HILLS WAS FOUGHT.39 Chapter 39 WHICH TREATS OF VARIOUS CURIOUS THINGS THAT OCCURRED WHEN THE RESULT OF THE GREAT BATTLE OF THE BANANA HILLS WAS ANNOUNCED TO THE COMMANDER.40 Chapter 40 WHICH RELATES SEVERAL CURIOUS THINGS THAT TOOK PLACE AFTER THE GREAT BATTLE OF THE MIRACLE WAS DECIDED; AND ALSO HOW A GREAT QUARREL AROSE CONCERNING THE GOVERNMENT OF KALORAMA.41 Chapter 41 IN WHICH THE READER WILL FIND MUCH THAT IS CURIOUS AND INTERESTING.42 Chapter 42 WHICH RELATES A CURIOUS CONVERSATION THAT TOOK PLACE WHEN THEY REACHED THE HOUSE OF ANGELIO'S PARENTS.43 Chapter 43 THE LAST AND MOST CURIOUS CHAPTER IN THIS EVENTFUL HISTORY.