There are many reasons for us to change our attitude There is also nothing wrong if your treatment to others would change. Sa minsang pagkakataon, kailangan nating maging matigas para hindi magiba ang malalaking pader na binuo natin sa maraming pagkakataon. Lara built a walls inside her because she was scared to get attached to anyone, and ended up building her walls again. After that incident, she became someone she promised to herself she would never be. But what if James knew everything that Lara doesn't know about herself?
"Mom, I wanna see her..." I turned my head in my Mom's direction. She still looked worried about me.
"James, hon, I don't want you to get hurt, okay? Lara is still not waking up, you should be patience. I'll tal-"
"But I wanna see her..." my voice cracked as my tears started to fall from my eyes.
I know I looked like a child crying infront of my mom, begging at her to buy me a lollipop but that's not what I'm thinking right now.
She sighed as she nod at me, "Okay, but make su-"
Hindi ko na hinintay ang sasabihin nila at mabilis kong kinuha ang susi ng sasakyan ko at mabilis na tumakbo sa labas. Naririnig ko pa na tinatawag nila ako pero hindi na ako nag-aksaya pa ng oras para lumingon.
I have no time to listen to them now, all I want is to see her.
It's been six months since that accident happened, it was my fault! I won't forgive myself if she won't wake up on that hospital bed!
I kept on blaming myself, she won't be in that fucking hospital and peacefully lying there if I didn't let her do that thing, if I knew that something would happen to her that day, I would never let go of her hands!
This is making me crazy!
Pagdating ko sa ospital, mabilis akong tumakbo papasok sa loob at dumiretso sa kwarto niya. Natigilan ako nang makita si Tito. Lumipat ang tingin ko sa babaeng inosenteng nakatingin sa akin.
Dahan-dahan kong isinara ang pinto, I can't stand straight while looking at her. My toes are trembling in front of them. Our eyes met but I see nothing in her eyes...
"L-Love..." I held her hand as I sat beside her, she's still looking at me innocently like she doesn't know me.
"S-sino ka po?" Napatigil ako nang marinig ko ang mga katagang iyon. Napatingin ako sa kamay namin nang dahan-dahan niyang tanggalin ang kamay niya mula sa pagkakahawak ko.
She's avoiding my eyes...
"P-Pa, hind- h-hindi ko po siya k-kilala."
I saw her tears started to fall from her eyes as she looked at me, ang tingin niya sa akin ay para bang natatakot siya sa akin. Napatingin ako kay Tito nang hawakan niya ang balikat ko. Dahan-dahan akong tumayo.
Lumapit ang isang nurse kay Lara para patahanin siya mula sa pagkakaiyak, I've never seen her crying like that before, she never looked at me like that before...
"T-Tito..." Hinayaan ko si Tito na hilain ako papalabas ng kwarto.
"W-what's that? Tito, why i-is she acting like that?" Hindi ko maiwasang manginig habang nagsasalita, kahit sa paglunok ko ay nahihirapan ako.
He didn't answer me, mahabang katahimikan ang bumalot sa pagitan naming dalawa. I looked at him again, seryoso ang mukha niya at para bang malalim ang iniisip niya.
"Malakas ang pagkakabagok sa ulo ni Lara, maraming nawalang dugo sa kaniya sabi ng doctor, swerte na lang natin dahil naagapan siya at napatigil ang paglabas ng dugo sa ulo niya," sambit ni Tito, "Nagulat din ako no'ng magising siya, hindi ka niya maalala. Pinakita ko ang litrato mo dahil akala ko ikaw ang hahanapin niya pero unang tanong niya sa akin ay kung sino ka," mahinang dagdag niya na naging dahilan para sunod-sunod na tumulo ang luha ko kasabay ng pagsinghap ko.
Hindi ko alam kung anong sasabihin at gagawin ko pagkatapos kong marinig ang sinabi ni Tito, my girlfriend can't remember me.
"Hindi raw tayo sigurado kung maibabalik pa ang memorya niya dahil magiging delikado ang buhay niya kapag nabalik ang memorya niya sabi ng doctor."
"W-what?" I felt my toes trembling as I looked down, "You're joking, Tito," mahinang sambit ko.
No, this is not true! Tell me this is just a dream!
He held my shoulders, "Alam mong si Lara na lang ang meron ako, James. Tinuturing na rin kitang para kong anak dahil mahal na mahal ka ng anak ko, pero ayokong maalala niya ang nakaraan para lang maalala ka niya. Hindi pa ako handang mawala si Lara."
Dahan-dahan akong napasandal sa pader at umupo kasabay ng pagsabunot ko sa sarili, hinayaan ko ang luha kong pumatak mula sa mga mata ko. Damn!
"Tito, I-I love her..."
Bakit pa ba kailangang dumating sa ganitong punto? It's hard... I never imagined us being strangers. We promised to each other that we would never forget and leave each other!
She's alive... but from now on, I'm a stranger for her.