Her Inner Demons

" My memories from that night come back to me in flashes... I remember the stars, I grew up in a broken home so my dad would take me on the weekends for little date nights. My favorite place to go was the space and science center. I fell in love with the stars because they made me feel free. I felt as if I could escape to my world and block out everything around me and most times It worked, that night was one of them. The stars had been red and blurry from the hole in my head. My family and I... had all been shot that night, one bullet for each of us yet I had survived.

I played dead listening to my family being tortured in the room below my attic dwelling. The bullet that hit me was fatal had it not been for the thick, old wooden doors that had protected me from a great majority of the impact. I was the first. I had made too much noise while running to lock my bedroom door from my bed... I played dead and that's when everything got worse. I held my breath and slowed my heartbeat to the point where I thought I was going to die while one of the men assaulted me. I held back my tears and made sure I didn't move. When they left and everyone else had been killed, I felt as If I had just enough energy to call the police before passing out and I did. That night lives in the back of my mind hidden by the tough, steel walls I built around it. I wish I could have been taken with them. I shouldn't have survived that night but the stars made me feel invincible and powerful in those moments that I knew I had to survive. What 12-year-old wants to die?

When I woke up in the hospital 3 weeks later it hit me that I was truly alone. None of my parent's family was willing to take me in because we had all been poor then. No one had the funds to feed another mouth so I was put into foster care and the killers hadn't been caught due to the lack of any DNA or physical evidence left behind. Imagine growing up having to know that the people that murdered your family weren't caught and honestly may never be... I was never a normal kid after that day. My innocence was gone and it was time to become a woman so I got better in school. I was that kid everyone hated in school, The perfect student at the top of the class. I graduated early and went to college at a very young age. I got my Doctorate In Psychology, Masters in criminal justice, forensics, science, and law last year actually," I took a deep breath and lifted my eyes to the room of students much older and not so sitting before me. The lectures I give in colleges like this are criminal justice education. I took my pain and decided to do something helpful with it. " My name is Genevieve Strifer, I am A Psychology expert, I work closely with All Criminal Justice agencies I and I am 22 years old. I am one of the youngest women working with the FBI today and that's how I'd like to keep it." I laugh.

A young woman from the upper back row raises her hand with an obnoxious look on her face as if she has a problem with me or my Lecture. I point her out and ask her a question to which she stands with an angry smile. "My father worked on that case and he said the men who did it were never caught. Is that why you do this, to get revenge for your family? I mean if you work closely with law enforcement then you must want to find them. We are here to learn about catching Murderers, not listen to your life story."

I Laugh. "With a mentality like that, you would never make it in this field of work. No matter what the case is when it happened or who it happened to every victim is a survivor. You're ignorant of the situation because you grew up in a nice gated community with a big house and no worries about things like this happening. If you do take a job in this field of study, would you talk to an orphan and rape victim like that? You would have to listen to their statement to help find the people that did those horrible acts to them. If I were the professor of this class or the guest speaker I would tell you to take a walk because it's obvious that you need to take a second to reevaluate your reasoning behind taking this class. This isn't a game, this is people's lives. Just because you've lived a happy life doesn't mean others have. " A young man said from the far corner of the upper row. He began to twist his pen in between his fingers as he took a glance up from his laptop on his desk. He began to speak but the bell from the hall cut him short. I turn back to the young woman and smile confidently.

"There are monsters in this world and this class, Even if you choose to not believe it. You will be learning how to identify those monsters in the crime scenes, witnesses, and evidence you come across soon. The behavior of a suspect and the aspects of the crime scene will be your best friend in this field, as well as witness testimony. Those monsters can look like everyday people but they put on a mask to make sure they are detectable to normal people but to people like myself and my partners they stand out in a crowd," I end the class and look at the man that spoke in my favor. "Can I see you at the front, please?"

I turn to my desk and gather my things to head back home before returning tomorrow for our field trip to some test scenes for the students to investigate. Shoving my papers into their folders and then into my bag, the man stepped next to me and stood patiently. His presence is powerful, almost captivating. Or maybe it's his cologne? I close my bag and sigh ready for a relaxing drink and bath.

"Did I say something wrong, Evie?" The man asks, laughing. I mock his laugh. Jay Von Redding, My long-time best friend of 10 years and only 4 years older than myself so we get along very well... Most of the time.

"The point of this class, Redding, is to teach them about their future profession not argue with one arrogant child. This field isn't going to work for her and we both know it. Can you try to act like an Agent and not a child for once?"

"Oh, you know you love it." He says as his phone starts ringing. He pulls him from his pocket and laughs. "I'm on vacation." Jay Von put his arm over my shoulder and sighs shoving his phone deeply into his jogger pants pocket. He had agreed to come with me for the next week to help me conduct the class correctly and as accurately as possible from a professional yet understandable standpoint. I see myself as being pretty damn smart but it helps to have a fresh set of eyes to help. For the first time, we could spend time together and catch up since we last saw each other almost a year and a half ago. We were many different people then and our lives were just taking us in different directions but he moved back home a few weeks ago, he offered to come to keep me company. It's just a plus that he gets to help me teach. I have no friends anyways so it's nice to have him here.

The last time Jay Von and I met we were both pretty chunky, build-wise. We were just kind of unattractive people but now that I get to see him again in a fresh state of mind and with a promotion, it's nice. He is back to his fit, cocky yet sweet ways. He looks too good for his ego. I've straightened up and thinned out as well, carrying myself differently physically and mentally. He was very much impressed when he picked me up this morning like he had seen a ghost... Then again maybe he has.

"They know what vacation means right? Time away from all of the horror. That's what you need and I am here to serve. We are going to have a movie date tonight." I say grabbing my bag and hosting it over my shoulder. I pull away from his grasp and make my way toward the doors. The last class of the day is always so refreshing. Especially a weekend free of work.

He nods following, walking with such power that it made me question my own. I come across men like him every day but none make me feel like Jay Von Redding has. I feel something hiding deep within him, it's just itching to come out. "My place or yours?"

The frigid October air shook me as I unlock the front door to my home. The wind blew leaves between our legs and the feeling of fear filled the air as Halloween approaches. Jack O lanterns and ghosts covered yards, webs in the trees, etc. A lot of houses around me went all out 7 Floors Of Hell buying up the big animatronic props and creatures that will scare you into a coma. (A Wolf Dog got me on my way in yesterday evening. It was traumatic, to say the least.) I left my home bare so Jay Von and I would have something fun to do together like we used to. We grew up in the same Foster care facility but he left when he turned 18 and went to college. Of course, we still kept in contact. He was the only person there I could trust with anything. He got me through everything and I owe him a lot for that. So he gets to sleep in my guest room instead of the couch. I decided to be nice tonight.

"I still can't believe you've come up, Evie. You are doing good for yourself." Jay Von says as we enter the house after a long wrestling match with all of my keys. I need a labeling system for these things because if I get stuck out here and my life depended on it... Man would I be screwed.

I nod sliding my shoes off near the door. I pull my long braids from their prison on top of my head and let the fall to a more comfortable position laying flat just above my lower back. I let out a loud sigh, dropping my bag on my feet and taking a seat on the loveseat across the room. I watch as he looks over my degrees and awards, pictures I took in college, and so on. Being nosey as always. I mean I don't blame him. I want to be able to snoop into his life soon and see what kind of person he is.

"A lot of hard work. I don't regret it but it would be nice for more than two days to reset myself. Lucky for you, they give you that time. I can't give myself that time until I find more trustworthy doctors to help me with my patients," I look to him now in my study looking over some case files I've been asked to review for the local PD. He moves from those to my drawers where he pulls a tattered notebook from its contents. My Journal. "I'd advise you nicely to not read my private thoughts. You may be in for an... Interesting treat." I say laying my head back onto the couch. For a moment there was complete silence, then the couch shifted beside me and the TV came to life emanating noise throughout the whole house. I lift my head to see Jay Von searching for a movie.

"I won't creep into your mind. At least not tonight," He shifts his gaze from the TV to me. He gave me a smile I'd only seen once before when he told me he was moving back home. His eyes lit up in this specific way that gave me warmth, something I never realized I had missed. My rock. The only family I have. It's crazy how we've gotten this far. "You look exhausted... You can lay on me if you'd like. I know you won't make it through this movie. At least not tonight. You've had a long day." I nod and lay my head on his chest, slowly falling asleep listening to his heartbeat. Just as my mind went dark I heard him speak. His words were soft and I could only make out the last sentence...

feels right... I'm happy to have you to myself again, Evie.

Warmth enveloped me, softly caressing my skin. The sun... I had slept through the night, Jay Von's words from last night slowly fading from my memory as if it were a dream. I pull myself from the entanglement of blankets I had managed to slip into and plant my feet on the cold wooden floor, creaking as I stood. I took in my surroundings. In my bedroom, dark walls and fake ivy hang from all four walls. It's my hideaway from the outside world. I designed it after my love of fairies. Childish I know but it's kind of like my safety blanket. My childhood was ripped away, this helps me cope with that. I make my way to my bathroom and take a look in the mirror. I'm not the best looking but I'm pretty cute, small freckles splatter my cheeks and nose as if someone had flicked some brown paint over a canvas leaving small, imperfect dots over the surface. My eyes are big and bold, my eyebrows have a natural feminine arch to them making me look younger than I seem, but enticing enough to catch male and female attention. A lot of people like young, mixed (almost flat chested) girls with nice figures, big butts, and aggressive personalities.

"Well, good morning." A deep voice spoke as I began to rub the sleep from my eyes. Jay Von planted a kiss on my forehead and made his way past me and into my room. The bathroom connects the main and guest room. I thought I'd like it but I hate it. I feel like my privacy could be invaded and so far I'm right. Anyone I bring over eventually makes their way to my bedroom. Many of them think I'm a weirdo but it's beautiful I can't stress that enough.

"You carried me to my bed... didn't you? How did you find my room?" I ask. He stands tall for a moment before turning to me with a nonchalant look on his face. He shrugs his shoulders and walks out of view into the room. "I found it while carrying you through the house like a corpse. Something about you hasn't changed, you know that?" He replies. I can hear drawers opening and stuff being looked through. Is he going through my clothes?!

I dash into the room to see him holding up one of my lingerie sets in between pinched fingers as if it held a disease which it does not. I snatch it from his hands and put it back in the drawer, closing it and sighing. Now I know for sure he read my journal. All of my dreams are appropriate and not, all my thoughts and fantasies are within those pages. He's so damn nosey this is one thing I never wanted him to know about me.

"You're dark you know that? As a psychology expert wouldn't you say you are sick?" He looks towards my closet and smiles.

"It isn't any of your business, is it? You are here as a guest, not a profiler, stop trying to read me and get in my head. These things are private for a reason."

"You're still a Virgin what could you need all of this stuff for though? Do you want someone to do that to you? again?"

I pause looking over him angrily. Who does he think he is? "You have no right, Jay Von. It's not your place. Drop it and let's move on with our day please?" I say as a knock on my front door startles me. I push past him, making my way to the door with frustration in my heart. Why is he acting so weird all of a sudden... Did he see something in my journal I must have forgotten about? Maybe something about him. Looking through the peephole I could see a woman. A beautiful woman with an angry expression on her face. A Federal Agent, looking for Jay Von no doubt. It's not surprising he is the best at what he does. They do need him, it must be something big.

I open the door and greet the woman. Not realizing I'm standing in the doorway with nothing but a long t-shirt and socks. This... isn't a great impression. "Um... good morning. I wasn't expecting any visitors this early." I laugh. The woman disapproves of my greeting, entering my home without consent to do so.

"It is 12:30 in the afternoon, Miss Strifer. Get decent, if you don't mind we need to talk. There is something you should see." The woman says as Jay Von enters the room dressed for the day as if he knew this was happening. He lowered his eyes to the woman almost towering over her petite form. She cleared her throat as her cheeks began to redden. I felt a twinge of jealousy. Of course, they must have slept together. She looks joyful to see his face, on the other hand, he seemed... Uncomfortable. His mood and energy quickly began to change but to negate the situation he turns to his room as do I to get dressed. After doing so, I return to the woman who was now sitting at my dinner table with a case file set out in front of her.

"May I ask what this pertains to?" I take a seat across from the woman looking over the table with curiosity. My eyes stop dead on the file. Genevieve Rosemarie Whaley, 2010.

"We have new information you might like to see."

The racing of my heart causes my hearing to come and go as the woman, Ariel Masterson, spoke of the evidence they had come across on the bodies of my mother and sister. The men weren't as smart as they thought, leaving semen at the scene. The DNA came back with a potential hit but... the person that did these things. It doesn't make sense.

"We found not only DNA but the gun and other weapons used to kill your mother and sister," She pauses, pinching the bridge of her nose with her long, slender fingers. She couldn't meet my eyes meaning that I would be receiving devastating news. "We found your father... He is still alive and in custody under the charges of felony murder and unfortunately his rape and attempted murder. Motive charges are tacked on there of course but... they want me to ask some questions. Get a clearer statement of that night. Maybe you missed something that will tell us more information. Would you be willing?"

"You're telling me... m-my father did this to me?" I gasp, holding my hand over my mouth suppressing the urge to vomit. My body began to ache and my head starts to pound. That night... it can't be.

"He had partners. Two men by the names of Joseph Warren and Michael Hoff. You may have seen them around as a child," Two pictures sat in front of me. The men in them I had known all of my life. I called them Uncles, we treated them as family. "Was there anything that you can remember of that night that you may not have told us?"

At first, I shook my head but in a flash, almost as if I had been blinded by the flash of a camera, I saw Joe standing behind me as a child. His hands were... he was... "They were raping me since I was... How could I not remember this?"

"You've blocked those memories out. That's normal you know that. Do you remember anything about your father? Could he have said something about a motive?"

"My mother was the breadwinner of the family. She was beautiful. She was intelligent and confident... She may have had some affairs, she had money. You're telling me he didn't die that night? Why wasn't I told?" I stood from my seat, slamming my hands on the table in anger. "My life has been in danger all of these years and no one told me anything?!"

The woman pressed her lips together before placing her hand on my shoulder in an attempt to calm me down. I push her hand away and begin to pace my floor. Jay Von came into the room with worry in his eyes. I stop and stare... My life has been in danger all of these years... has anyone been watching me? Making sure he doesn't come for me?

"Where are they? Michael and Joe? Are they in custody too?" The woman nods.

Overwhelmed I sit and ask the woman to leave. She has gotten enough information and the trial begins in just a few days. I will have to testify. How can I face them? I'm not that strong. Before the woman took her first step out of the door I began to sob trying to speak through my breaking voice.

"I want to lead the interrogation. I deserve that much. Jay Von can be by my side... please."

The woman nods slowly before taking her to leave.

"Well... Shall we?"