My father’ daughter

Elena

Newport hadn't changed, and I could feel the weight of every ghost the moment I crossed the city line.

Dark clouds littered the sky, announcing the emergence of a heavy downpour. I prayed silently that I would get home before it starts to rain.

"Mummy, are we there yet?"

"No baby, we're almost," I replied reassuringly to my five year old daughter Sophie, strapped in her sitter.

I checked on her from the front mirror, and her eyes were drifting closed. My child, the one good thing that has happened to me in the five years I have been away.

Bringing her back here was something I'd dreaded the most, but my return couldn't be delayed as it was a matter of life.

My grip on the steering wheel tightened as the estate which we lived in came into view, the high stone walls a blatant reminder that I had never truly left.

Sophie was already fast asleep, curled under her little blanket. I felt guilty for dragging my daughter into a mess I already knew was waiting.

The gates opened without hesitation, Liam must have informed the staff that I was arriving. My chest tightened as I drove closer to the main building.

The memories of being here as a young girl came flooding back, memories I had long buried the night I left.

Inside, the house was quiet. Too quiet. Liam must have let go of a lot of the older staff. Everything pretty much looked the same, save for some furniture that was well-worn in age.

"Welcome home, Miss Whitmore," the housekeeper murmured from the doorway.

"Mrs Keller, so lovely to see you" I replied with a small smile. She was one of the oldest staff, sure that's why Liam hadn't let go of her.

"And who do we have here," she leaned down and smiled warmly at Sophie.

Sophie instinctively gripped my hand, shy of the stranger she had never met.

"This is Sophie, my daughter." I was pretty sure the staff already knew about her.

"Oh, she's so beautiful. Just like her mother."

I smiled warmly. "Is my mother asleep?"

"She has been in bed all day, these past few days have been rather worse"

"Oh, I didn't know it had gotten that bad. Let me go and see her."

"Will have your bags in your respective rooms then"

"We'll both be staying in my room, Mrs Keller."

She looked surprised but didn't object. "In that case, I'd have all your bags in your room then."

"Thank you, Mrs Keller."

I walked towards the grand staircase, my heart heavy with guilt for having to face my Mum after all these years of being away.

"Mommy? Can you carry me up the stairs, please?" She said, her arms already lifted.

"Ok baby, I'll carry you up."

She giggled happily as I lifted her into my arms. Seeing her happy has always been an antidote to how guilty I've felt these past years.

"Want to come down now?" I asked as we got to the top of the stairs.

"Yes, yes." She exclaimed happily.

Guess she was more excited about being here than I was.

I got to my mother's room and knocked carefully at the door; she would be fast asleep, so I wasn't expecting a response.

"Come in" she called out from inside.

Thought she would be asleep. I pushed open the door and stepped in, the familiar smell of lilac clinging to the air. She was seated in her armchair facing the window.

She smiled as soon as she saw me, arms wide open. I went immediately to her, with tears in my eyes, and hugged her, careful not to squeeze her too tightly.

"Oh my child, I've missed you." She said softly, her voice laced with unshed tears.