I Rejected My Alpha as Mate

"Lila, you're pregnant."

Elena, the pack's healer and my guardian, had spoken those words when she was in the cottage earlier today. They cut through me like a knife, and they still rang in my ears long after she was gone.

Pregnant? How could that be? I had never even been touched by a man.

I sat up on the small bed in the tiny cottage the pack had given me, staring into space. My heart pounded so hard it echoed in my ears. The silence pressed in on me, I was all alone now.

"I... I think you must be mistaken," I responded to her, my throat dry. "That's not possible."

Elena had only looked at me with pity, her wrinkled hands clutching the herbal concoction she'd made earlier. "The signs are clear, my child. I know what I felt, what I heard. There is life inside you. A strong one."

Her words made the air heavy, and my skin went cold as they crashed into me. Pregnant. Me. A weak omega that has not even gotten her wolf, the orphan of the Silver Moon Pack that everyone pitied at best, and ridiculed at worst. If anyone found out, the insults would get worse, and the bullying and punishments would increase. Calling me a disgrace would be the nicest word in their books. 

I wrapped my arms around myself, trembling. The mate ceremony was only days away. If the Alpha, found out that I am pregnant I won't be allowed to participate, the only chance I had in escaping this hellhole has been terminated. Even if I were allowed to participate in the ceremony, what would happen when my supposed fated mate finds out??

He would reject me.

I stood up, walked towards the cracked mirror, and stared at myself for a while still in thought. 

The girl in the mirror looked back at me like a stranger, skinny, frail, with crimson red eyes that made them call me a curse. When I blinked, I saw another memory, an old memory.

I went back to the day Elena found me. It's the first thing I can remember after being found, and I remembered it as clear as if it just happened yesterday. People don't believe me when I say that, because I don't remember anything from before that day.

The river was freezing, it looked like it went on forever, and all I could see was darkness.

I was barely old enough to stand but then I recalled shivering on the muddy bank. I was told I was found there, my body half in the water, the moonlight clinging to me like a veil. Elena said I had not cried, not even once, which was true. I just stared with eyes too old for a child.

She had carried me into the pack, wrapped in her shawl, like some stray pup. Took me to the elders who then tried to read my Moon Star that night, to trace my bloodline, but their power slid off me like water. Something shielded me. Something they could not name.

"Blocked," the eldest of them whispered. "That can only mean weakness."

And that word has followed me ever since. Weak.

I blinked, my reflection sharpening again. My fingers brushed the wolf-shaped birthmark on my collarbone, the only thing along with the color of my eyes I had that set me apart. But even that was wrong, too strange to belong.

The door creaked open and Elena stepped inside, her arms full of herbs and folded cloth. Her sharp eyes softened the moment they landed on me, standing frail in front of the mirror.

"I brought supplies," she said gently, setting the bundle on the wooden table. "You shouldn't be alone right now," she murmured, her voice low but urgent. 

I forced a bitter smile sitting in front of her. "I have always been alone."

The smell of sage and wild mint filled the room, but it couldn't chase away the heaviness between us.

She sat down beside me, brushing strands of hair from my face. "Lila, we need to talk."

"Listen to me, Lila. This child... It is not ordinary but if Alpha Kai learns about this, he'll....."

"He'll punish me," I cut in, tightening my throat. "He'll banish me before the pack even gathers. Maybe I should..." My voice dropped to a whisper. "Maybe I should remove it.