LOVE A THIRTY FOREVER

I looked in the mirror and I can't believe it, I've gained ten kilos more weight since I turned 30, there are no clothes that match me the way I want, I haven't seen the woman I was a few years ago for a long time, now I only see one shape of wide proportions and little curves, my face has a couple of dark circles, an endless number of spots that I suppose are thanks to the passage of time and my carelessness, but what does it matter.

I have dedicated my life to my marriage, my professional career, my children, and my goals, although which marriage... I was always a dedicated woman, I finished my high school very young, at 16 years old, I immediately received a scholarship to enter a good university, I started my career as an accountant, I was not from a wealthy family, so I had to support myself in any way to be able to fulfill that dream, to be the best of all accountants and thus be able to have everything I wanted.

When I was in the sixth semester I met Larry, a handsome young man four years older than me, he was about to graduate, his family was wealthy and he could have all the luxuries he wanted, while I did somersaults working here and there to cover extra expenses. that life gave me to be able to study, for reasons of fate he noticed me, and remembering well, anyone could notice me, my long hair to the waist, my protruding chest, and my wide hips made any man look at me, my face was white and clean, I wasn't very tall, but any 8-centimeter high shoe helped hide how glued I was to the floor.

Larry was a tall man, 1.80 meters tall, gallant, muscular, he had straight black hair that moved with the wind, everyone was crazy about him, I don't know why I wasn't, but he noticed me, and suddenly We started going out, he invited me as much as I wanted, relatively, we were a couple of students and our demands were simple, a couple of coffees, a few hamburgers, a few outings to the movies, a trip to any nearby town and so, I thought who was in heaven.

At the beginning he was an attentive man like everyone else, loving, chivalrous, he would go up to heaven, and the moon would come down on me (but who asked him, sometimes so much attention was cloying), I never had a boyfriend before him, so I assumed that That's how things worked, shortly after I obtained my degree as an accountant, with a couple of diplomas and a meritorious thesis, he decided to ask me to marry him after 3 years of courtship, something that was a surprise to me, but what else did I want? I, young, professional, with a wealthy husband, enough to be able to live comfortably without worries, "loved me."

His family was perfect, only his parents and one brother, they all loved me, because I was the example of a woman that everyone wants to have, I did not enjoy my stay at the university very much, I only dedicated my life to studies, to doing my best efforts and obviously my Larry, my prince who among all the maidens chose me.

I spend a couple of months.

The day of the wedding arrived, we had never had a fight, only arguments that did not last for two hours, bothersome and then reconciled, despite everything we had already had a married life, where I had good experiences with him but now I think it was the basics. (he did not understand the enjoyment of the body, he thought that it was designed to become a reproducing machine).

My humble mother was happy to see her daughter succeed, I never had a father and I was an only child, therefore my family was only my mother and a couple of cousins whom I loved as if they were my sisters.

Larry's family, the Nicholsons, were not the most millionaires, but they were renowned, they owned a plastics company in the city which was quite recognized, and it gave them a good boom to have good luxuries and thus live more than well.

The day I said YES, I ACCEPT I did not imagine that it would be the day my soul would die, even though my physical presence was still present.

A couple of years passed I got my first job as an accountant in the State, through a contest and a little help from my father-in-law I got a position with a good salary that made me live comfortably and help my mother, I kept the money just for me, since my lucky husband already had everything, he maintained our home, he only allowed me to work so that I could carry out my career, it already said that the duty of maintaining the home was the man's, women should stay at home doing what you do and having children, but I didn't understand that.

I wanted much more, my dreams were not limited to being in a huge house cleaning walls and changing diapers.

After getting my job I started to save my money, my dream was always to have an accounting firm but I didn't want to do it through Larry, I felt that I could do it much better by myself.

But what I did not expect came, my first daughter, Susan, I had to leave my job temporarily and dedicate myself to taking care of her, my husband was happy, but after having her, my body was not the same, there were strips of fat, stretch marks on my belly and on my legs, my face was not the same, and neither was my husband, I suffered a postpartum crisis which led me to a frustrating depression, I had to take psychological help and thus recover from the situation, my beautiful Susan turned two years old, My mother-in-law insisted on putting her in a kindergarten, the best in the city, and I agreed, so I went back to work and with it all my plans, my husband hardly looked at me, we were tied to a commitment, to a image, what will they say in society, after work we came home, we greeted each other with a simple kiss on the cheek, we wondered how our days were and that's it.

I threw myself into my work and raising our beautiful Susan, our loving encounters were only limited to when "my beloved husband" wanted, but deep down I thought that everything worked that way, that this was my destiny, in one of those encounters I conceived my second son, my beloved son Eitan, was named after his paternal grandfather, but it was not to be thought that forgetting to take the pill would be the beginning of the end of my marriage.

With my second son things did not change, on the contrary they got worse, my husband no longer came home, he was annoyed by the hubbub of the children, his disheveled wife, the disorder in our huge house and everything that a failed marriage offered. Time went by when I didn't come home to sleep, communication was almost nil and if before we didn't have sexual encounters, now less so, we had simply limited ourselves to maintaining and taking care of our children.

Fortunately, my plans were still in place, with my work, my savings and my effort, I set up my small business and managed to separate my expenses from my husband's, although he did not seem to care what would happen to me, for him I was simply invisible. I was only the mother of his children, so the years went by and ours had become the worst of monotonies, I no longer took care of the house, my company demanded time and effort, so we hired a beautiful girl, a beautiful and lucid twenty-something, who had passed the contract filter thanks to my husband, who thought that due to her age she deserved a job opportunity, and I simply could not comment on anything, the truth was that I was only interested in my children and my projects.

My company grew, slowly but it did, I was not economically dependent on my husband, I could enjoy the fruits of my efforts with my young children, trips to the beach, shared with them, helped in their studies, dedicated myself as a self-sacrificing mother, attended his school meetings, I participated in every school project that appeared, I had the time and the comfort, my husband was focused on his projects, Larry had simply become my roommate with whom we exchanged a couple of words from time to time and so on. The days, the months, the years went by.

My children were already a bit big and they were beginning to be independent from me, our dear employee Gloria completed 3 years with us, and she was part of the family, she behaved like the best, she did all her duties, she was the best with my children, Susan and Eithan adored her, because I played video games with them, she was my daughter's friend, they played princesses and as she grew up I taught her how to put on makeup, I was immersed in my business in my plans and my little spare time was dedicated to them two. My world lit up every time I saw their sweet faces.

Despite the fact that I was not intimate with my husband, I thought that I had the perfect relationship, I did not need anything, I had Susan and Eithan, I had Larry and Gloria helped me, she had become part of our lives, of our family, my The company was a success, my secretary had become my best friend, Carolain was the best at everything, she was a bookkeeper, she worked with me while finishing her degree, she was my friend and confidant, as well as helping me run the finances from my company, which I was grateful for because between the company and my children I had very little time to do that.

But hey looking at it this way, what am I complaining about? Yes, I have everything, that's what I repeated to myself every day, I have everything.

From time to time, Larry's family came to visit us and it was time to do the family plan, the Nicholsons were nice people, I never had any problems with them, my mother-in-law was a nice middle-aged woman, not much older than fifty and despite his demands he continued to consider that I was the ideal woman for his spoiled Larry, he, he was perfect for any woman, maybe not for me, but for another yes.