A Love Story in Seychelles

As i lay down on my bedroom floor- because this is what I do most nowadays. I hate going outside. I am in love with my space. I wonder a lot and this time i am wondering if it is all worth it to try again.

After our last fight i had given up, at least this is what i thought. I have no energy nor willingness to keep trying. So many times I've given him chances. I wonder if I am that naive or if it is really love.

Today marks six days since he have been going for a part time job other than his permanent job. He says the extra money will help us have a nice New Year vacation on Praslin this coming weekend. Because he have been working everyday for twelve to fourteen hours, he is tired everyday and we will see each other for two hours before I sleep. He will want sex even if he is drained and yesterday was no different. There wasn't many kisses, maybe because I have stopped loving his kisses without realising. The thing is that we weren't intimate after our last fight a couple of weeks ago.

After the previous fight where I was treated like a pig, Manfred promised to treat me well and we should give us a chance again. I didn't want to but I did anyway. All the sweetest words were flying out from his lips on that gruesome night. With a pained scalp after having my hair pulled, an aching body after being dragged, I thought why not? We are married after all. We have kids and family commitments. After convincing myself i accepted him back again with secret tears in my eyes and a heavy heart.

All was OK until a few weeks ago when he decided to come pick me up from work smelling like a liquor distillery. It was obvious he had been drinking even if he denied. On the previous evening of that day he had informed me that he will be going out with the accounts department from his workplace. I was fairly upset as the accounts department consists of females only. I questioned him about his intentions but he said they are his colleagues and there is nothing wrong with going out with them. That did not sit well with me but I chose to stay quiet to avoid arguments. Me being quiet pissed him off and as usual he claimed I troubled him so he had a few drinks to forget his worries. He knows I hate when he drinks but what does he care?

I needed to come back to work on that evening as I had a few more duties to sort out. We went home. It was a quiet drive. At home I had a shower to refresh and asked a driver from my work to come pick me up instead.

'Manfred, you will not need to drive me to and from work, a driver will pick me up' I told him as I was definitely not having him drive me being intoxicated. He didn't reply. I said bye to the kids and grabbed my keys and left.

It was later that evening upon arriving home that I discovered I have been locked outside. He had texted me threatening to leave me outside but I wasn't worried. Why would he lock me outside? At home, I tried unlocking the door but to no avail. Looking through the window he was sitting right there with a bottle of wine and blurted 'You've finished sleeping around? A slut like you will stay outside"

Hearing him, I was shocked. I mean he knew where I went and with whom I went. Not knowing what to do, I called the driver and asked him to pick me up again and take me back to my workplace. He came but i changed my mind along the way and went back home and this time the door was unlocked. I went in and he had been drinking again. That night was a bad night. I was insulted to my core. I was threatened. He was shouting that the kids decided to call the cops. In the end I told him to leave. He went away and I could care less where to.

Or I thought he did. The next morning he was asleep on the floor. His phone happened to be unlocked. I wouldn't normally go thru his phone but I spotted a miscall and I checked. I didnt hear it ring. Why was it on silnce? It seems that he'd been interacting with a certain Carol. I was hurt already from the way I was treated just a few hours before but seeing the notification after he claimed he doesn't talk with other females hurt me differently. I quietly laid the phone back down and all sorts came rushinto my mind. Had he been with that Carol? How much have they done together? Who is that Carol anyway? I certainly have never heard him mention a Carol.

I confronted him as soon as he woke up. Carol was the last straw. No matter what his excuses were, he needed to leave. I was disgusted and asked him to leave for real. Being cheated on is some other kind of pain.

'Please gather your stuff and leave' I said without looking at him. 'Mistreating is one thing but having an affair is another. Just leave'

'Keke you don't understand, there is nothing between Carol and I' He tried to explain.

Manfred was now sober and was trying to justify what I've discovered. 'I wanted to vent yesterday and I texted Carol.'

'Of all the people, of all mutual friends you chose to call Carol? And at 3am?' I asked. It didn't add up. 'Do you think I'm stupid?'

'Keke that's just a friend' he said.

'Oh really? A new friend? I have certainly never heard of this one. How long have you been cheating on me??' I inquired.

'I didn't cheat. I wasn't thinking straight. You ignored me yesterday and I wanted to talk to someone' he said.

No. I didn't want to go through that again. I was hurt. 'Just leave. Go to your parents. Go to Carol. I don't want to be with you. Just go.'

He never left. He is still here as I write. As usual the list of promises was read on that day. Even tears were shed. For a whole week I didn't speak to him.

'Keke I feel you are done this time but I don't want to lose you. I am sorry.' He pleaded on text as I refused to answer his calls. 'Please give us another chance. I had nothing with Carol. You are my wife. I will never touch anyone else'

I remembered the vows we exchanged infront of God just three months ago. I thought of our kids and the good memories we had. I was tired of giving chances. How much more should I go on like this?