When love burns

Hi, I'm Phoenix McDonald

I'm nineteen years old.

I've been in jail for a year, but I was recently released. This is what really happened: my childhood friend, Joshua. And I were incredibly close, sharing the same ambitions. He supised me by revealing he wanted to be a musician like me. I realized that I had fallen in love with him, but I didn't know how to tell him, since he had a girlfriend, Charlene. she was jealous of our close relationship and become obsessed. I wanted to find a way to be with Joshua, and I thought eliminating Charlene will be the solution.

To my surprise, Joshua suggested we all hangout together and go to a party. I got drunk, and Charlene took me to a room, to relax. I lay down on the bed and close my eyes, she tried to suffocate me with a pillow. I pushed her off struggling to breathe. I realized she wanted to eliminate me too! I was panting and desperate to find Joshua, but I didn't know how I'm going to do that.

"Joshua will be here in five minutes, so I will make your death quick" she sneered, licking the dagger she held and laughing maniacally.

I was terrified, trying to run away, but she dragged me back. Somehow, I found the strength to wrestle the dagger from her grasp and pushed her forcefully. She fell, hitting her head had on the floor, and passed out. I thought she was alive, but I was wrong, she was dead.

I was in shock, unsure how to explain to everyone that it was self-defense. Joshua Burst in, his eyes widening in horror.

"Phoenix! You....." He shook Charlene's lifeless body, realizing she was dead. "Nina, what the fuck have you done?!" He slammed me against the wall, his hand tightening around my neck.

"You have to trust me ...I didn't mean to do that..she ..." Tears streamed down my face.

"You killed her!" Joshua's grip on my neck tightened, choking me.

"Ahhhh! Jo....shua!" I coughed, my face turning red.

Finally, he release me, pushing me roughly to the floor. That's when everyone arrived, thinking I was a murderer. Even my own parents disowned me, they all watch as the police took me away.

Now, I'm living with my uncle's friend Christian. Who is four years older than me. he treats me like his sister but he has no. He called me down stairs to eat dinner, because he knew that I might be very hungry. In jail we didn't get to enjoy food, we didn't have the freedom to do whatever we want or eat what we want. I took a bite of the pudding and was over joyed.

"Oh my gosh, Chris ... this is so good, I like it" I exclaimed

"I Know you like pudding, but you also forgot that today is your birthday. Happy birthday Nina" he said with a smile.

"Oh yeah, nothing good to celebrate about me, so let's forget to about it, and don't ever call me Nina" I said angrily.

"Ok I'm sorry, I have a surprise for you" he said with a grin.

"What?!" I asked

"Close your eyes," He ordered and I obeyed. When I opened them, I saw a new guitar beside him. He handed it to me and I smiled

"Thanks alot, this is what I needed" I strummed the guitar with excitement, music being my passion. I wished I could still share the song Joshua and I wrote together.

"I thought you had forgotten all your skills, wow! You are still good, and there is one more thing, your dad called me, he asked if you still want to pursue your music career or go back to school?" He asked and my mouth dropped open in suprise, I didn't want my dad's help, he hate me, why will he help me again. I just wanted to sit down and think about how people would remember me as a murderer. I just have to stay on my own. I shook my head trying to clear my thoughts.

"I don't know, Chris. Need some time to think" I said sharply.

"Take all your time, Nina. I'm here for you" he smiled and I nodded, feeling a lump form in my throat. Chris has been there for me, he always come to visit me during visit day in jail. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve him, I'm a murderer. As I strummed the guitar again, memories flooded my mind. Joshua and I writing songs together, dreaming of stardon. Our laughter, our argument, our late night conversation about life and music.

I stopped playing, my fingers hovering over the strings. Could I really go back to music after everything that had happened? Did I even have the courage.

"Hey Nina? Are you okay?" He asked, I looked up at him, forcing a smile.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just lost in thought" he nodded, feeling a little sense of determination spark with me, maybe I could find my way back to music. But for now my guitar and I became best buddies. I went to my room the guitar still resounating in my mind. I lay on my bed, starring at the ceiling, and let my thoughts wander. I missed those carefree days, the thrill of creating music, and the joy of sharing it with others.

I drifted off to sleep, I realized that music was still a part of me. Maybe, just maybe, I could find my way back to it, and in doing so, rediscover myself.

The next morning, I woke up with a newfound sense of purpose. I picked up the guitar and began to strum, the chords echoing through my room. The music was rusty at first, but as I played on, my fingers began to remember the rhythms, the melodies, and the passion.

I played for hours, lost in the music, until Chris knocked on my door, "Phoenix, you're amazing! I forgot how talented you are!" he exclaimed.

I smiled, feeling a sense of pride and hope. Maybe, I thought, music could be my redemption, my way to make amends for the past and find a new path forward.

"Your dad is here" Christian said sharply and I smiled

" my dad is not here" I said, smiling. "I know you're just joking, right?" But Chris's expression turned serious.

"I mean it, Phoenix. He wants to talk to you.

" I nodded, feeling a mix of emotions as I came downstairs to find my dad waiting for me.

"Phoenix, I miss you," he said, his voice filled with emotion. I couldn't believe it.

"You miss me?" I snapped, my anger and hurt still raw.

"You're ridiculous, Dad. You never visited me in jail, not even once during visiting hours. You hated me, just like everyone else."

My dad looked pained, his eyes filled with regret.

"I'm sorry, Phoenix. I was wrong. I realize now that I should have believed you when you said it was self-defense."

"I was so blinded by my own guilt and shame that I couldn't see the truth," my dad continued, his voice cracking. "But I understand now that you were just trying to protect yourself. Can you ever forgive me, Phoenix?"

I stood there, frozen, as a mix of emotions swirled inside me. Anger, hurt, betrayal, but also a deep longing for my dad's love and acceptance.

"I don't know, Dad," I said finally, my voice barely above a whisper. "I need time to think."My dad noded

"I understand, Phoenix. I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I hope that one day you can find it in your heart to forgive me."

Chris, who had been watching our exchange, spoke up. "Hey, why don't we all sit down and talk about this? There's a lot of hurt and anger here, but maybe we can start to heal and move forward."

"What is there to talk about Chris, I'm out of this game" I said angrily and Chris dragged me back

"Hey, I promise that it won't take long" he said and my dad nodded

I agreed and the three of us sat down, beginning a long and difficult conversation that would hopefully lead to healing and redemption.