An absolutely unsavory situation got Cathy hooked. How does whe survive everything?
Chapter 1 Bizarre
Deep down, I feel I know how to crack these nuts. No, I do know how to.
But then, somehow, it's so seeming that I'm most likely never going to have this figured out.
I think life's a trickster. Is it? No, I think life's actually a cassonava.
You know how they do right? Charm you, lure you, just to get you fúcked.
How can anyone convince me that life is not a fúckboy when I pulsate from his merciless strokes every now and then? I hate it when he does that. Do I? I think I do hate it.
Hi there, I'm Cathy and I bet nobody has had their minds messed up as I have.
Feel free to call me enigma cause I'm not sure even I understand me.
I could be easy yet difficult, calm and raging at a go, I could actually be silent yet speaking a thousand words in one breathe.
I'm actually a beauty and quite brainy too. These are the only things I'm sure of about myself cause everyday, I've seen how these men look at me with hunger in their eyes.
Everyday, I struggle to escape being devoured. This hourglass figure, beautiful jawline, bright smile and shining black hair is my bane.
I'm not even tryna pull your legs right now. I'm quite a hottie.
On some days, I'm all bubbly, hyped and determined to make great strides.
Other days, I just feel it's futile and not worth the stress.
Cause again and again, I've watched castles I built crumble before my nose.
I had quite high standards and was quite principled too.
Thinking that I used to be the ideal daughter and perfect role model to the twin Lina and Lana , my half siblings is laughable. who could have imagined?
I've sent those principles to hell now. Initially I had remorse, but now, I simply don't care.
I've also stopped doing those high and mighty things everyone thinks need to be done.
Like setting goals, reading books, accomplishing great things and hearing the applauses of people who really don't care.
It's like a circle and you know how boring circles can be.
So, why go hard when life will go harder? I told you he's just a casanova, you'll only get laid.
Again, deep down, I don't know if you should believe all I've said .
Already told you my mind is the most messed up right? I feel they're partial truths.
Trust me, I'm not a liar but I've heard people call me that a couple of times.
I'm never really sure of a lot going on with me and I feel anything they call me is justified. I stopped picking offense long time ago.
You see, rgardless of life's antics, some times, I find him quite seductive. He's cute, I kid you not.
He flashes the most beautiful smiles and have the most scintilating things to say.
Two can play right? Most times, I find myself on his bed yet again.
Honestly, I think I'm used to getting laid by him that deep down I want to try again and again.
Maybe I'm used to the organismic pain.
What's the worst that could happen?
I know.
Probably watch my world crumble yet again.
But who cares? I'm tired but maybe I'm used to trying now.
My friend Betty, who lives down Tropeville, would always say, "Cathy, are you sure you can pilot your life? I think you should reconsider going back to church. You've become more messier than I last saw you."
But church?
The name is repulsive to think it used to be a huge part of my life. I wish she could just stop mentioning it.
I guess I'll have to tell you my church story tomorrow. Do you mind listening? Nevermind, I'm still gon' tell you anyways.
But Betty, she's the only friend from church who stayed and sometimes I honestly wish she left too.
Chapter 1 Bizarre
07/07/2024