Performer's Diary

August 1st

I will no longer be able to remain anonymous after tonight. My long-awaited professional journey will finally, formally, commence tomorrow afternoon. My first song in the music business, which I wrote, will mark the beginning of a completely new chapter in my life. However, my only desire for tonight is to celebrate the future with Frode "Frodo" Hansen, my manager and best friend. The greatest guy a person could ask for in a friend-hell, even a brother. I feel like calling us both platonic soulmates, but that would be pushing it, that stubborn idiot of mine, a little too far.

We are going to celebrate together at the little bar that is been our go-to spot ever since we were allowed to drink, just like usual. The bar truly lived up to its name, Belle Époque, right down to the little things like the furnishings, concoctions, and even the attire of the bartenders. Better yet, despite the sophisticated and upscale atmosphere the bar exudes, the drink prices are still affordable for broke college students like Frodo and I were when we first discovered it. Truly remarkable, isn't it?

I am dressed to the nines, down to the little details like the pocket watch chained to the buttonhole of my waistcoat, the ineffective walking stick with a really thin blade inside that I can use professionally, and the fact that I already have the license for handling it-you name it-because tonight is significant for me and because the bar is having a 1900s-themed night. I think I did better tonight than I did the last time. I even styled my hair, and it looks really good. It has the sleek back hairstyle popular in the 1900s, which is noteworthy because my hair is a nightmare to manage and only gets under control when it reaches my nape.

Since Frodo is the only one who can drive through the heavy traffic during these rush hours, I am writing this while I wait for him to come get me from my apartment. Throughout our relationship, Frode has always been the sensible one-the conscience-while I have always been the impetuous one. Why do you suppose that I choose to pursue a music career rather than something more humdrum-like working in an office? I have nothing against office workers-my dad is one, for sure-but I can not see the allure of spending hours in front of a computer screen. Let us face it, it is boring. I can also be more creative in this way. Hehe.

In related news, I have to finish my grocery shopping by next weekend. I need to restock on meat-preferably ham, bacon, beef, and chicken breast-in my freezer. Oh, and throw in some salmon and cod as well. Alternatively, some tilapia from the Nile to fry would be delicious. I miss eating nile tilapia that has been fried so much, especially when it has been marinated. Oh, my. Whoa, I did not realize I also needed to replenish my condiment supply. What should I replenish? Japanese mayonnaise, ketchup, chili oil, barbeque sauce, regular and sweet soy sauce, pesto, taramosalata, and tzatziki ingredients; tamarind paste, perhaps some of those Indonesian sambals, gochujang, and ssamjang. What am I missing?

I will probably just need to buy practically everything at the supermarket anyway, based on what I can see in my fridge and freezer. I am not big on veggies or dairy, and the beer portion of my alcohol collection is severely depleted, but who can blame me for drinking when I am stressed? I'm stressed out, and I thought it would be a good idea to binge-watch Meteor Garden, the older version, the one that was made in 2001 and filmed in Taiwan, while at the same time binge-drinking. Luckily, I refrained from breaking out the vodka, or else I would have died by the twentieth episode or something, or else I would have passed out and suffered liver damage.

I heard my apartment door being knocked, and I knew straight away that that was Frode 'Frodo' Hansen, the man of the hour. It's 7 o'clock on the dot, not a second late or early, and we still have time to do some pre-game so we can dance and enjoy the night away. I do hope that he is as dressed up as I am. I don't want a repeat of the last time we went to a Belle Époque themed night. The embarrassment of getting kicked out due to not wearing clothes according to the theme and the aftermath will always be there in the back of my mind, engraved. O Moirai, please help me.

August 2nd

Hangovers are the worst! Why did I always think drinking that much Long Island Iced Tea was a good idea? Good Lord, if I get a dollar for every stupid decision and then invest it in bonds and stocks, I will be a self-made millionaire in 5 years, tops. But, aside from that stupid decision, I was having a blast last night, and I also didn't make the stupid decision of having a one-night stand or ending up in someone else's apartment.

Thankfully, Frode came dressed according to the theme, which spared me from the embarrassment like last time. But instead of my much more high-class gentleman of the early 20th century, he wears costumes befitting those of the working class. I also know that he just wears whatever clothes he holds first because it is such a Frode thing to do, randomly picking up his clothes but still ending up so stylish. The reason why he's not in the industry with me is still a mystery to me. Something along the lines of not wanting the spotlight or fame or something like that.

To be completely honest, last night was a blur of festivity, music, and all-around happiness. I may remember how wasted the both of us were, but if we managed to get back to my apartment in one piece, clothes intact, and no one-night standby partner within view, we were probably not that wasted. Though it's hard to say for Frode, a man still can't hold his liquor to save his life. That stupid lightweight.

And since the release of my debut single is today, the both of us are nursing our hangover while waiting for the MV to be uploaded to the net. If one is completely honest, the waiting while at the same time nursing a hangover is gnawing me up. All this time, I've only done covers, and, although it did gain me a fanbase, I never actually posted any of my original songs. I hope this works. O Muses, please bless this desperate follower. O Apollo, help me.

August 10th

I did it! I did it! I can't believe it. The agency I'm under just called me earlier this morning, while I was waking up. I watched the MV yesterday, but I, who always boast about myself as the brave one, am cowardly enough to not go through the comment section. Instead, as soon as I and Frode finished watching, I sent Frode back to his apartment (read: drive him back to the arm of his boyfriend and then take the bus home.) and then went back to sleep, too scared to find out.

But the way the agency called me in such a frantic tone forced me to open the comment section, and I can't believe that they, my fans and non-fans, love my music. They love my song.

The song is called Safe Place, and it's a song about how, growing up, I had no safe place, unlike others, until I found a safe place in myself and, from that point on, found another safe place in Frode. I know that it sounds like a love song dedicated to Frode, but we are both strictly platonic. Frode already has a boyfriend, and while I am also attracted to men, Frode is not my type at all. Plus, I consider him my brother. Brothers from different mothers. The brother that I never had growing up.

Today, a new chapter in my life begins, and nothing will stop me. Well, I hope. I do hope I don't jinx it, though.