A lifetime of regret Chinese Drama

Fayre  

When you are willing to shine a light upon your darkness and make it submissive to the light, you are reborn a hero. But I was no hero.

I lived in the darkness. I was born and bred in the darkness. This is the darkness that robs you of your best sense and replaces it with a paralysing fear. Where hope is destroyed. All that surrounded me was a never ending darkness. Yet my mother named me Fayre. It was unique indeed for a tainted soul like mine. 

My mother belonged to Antonio Vargas. I belonged to Antonio Vargas. All her life she fought to keep me safe but she lost her battle eventually. It was a matter of time before he sold me to another devil for the sake of cold hard cash.

Antonio Vargas was my father. A father who wouldn’t think twice before throwing his own daughter to a pack of wolves. After all he was the king pin of The Texas Mafia, a branch of La eMe or the Mexican Mafia as they called it here in the states.  

The Vargas men were ruthless bound by a blood oath of “blood in, blood out"--they must kill to join and will be killed if they want out. All they ever knew was to kill and conquer.

My Grandfather handed over his reign in Mexico to his eldest son, My Uncle Joaquín Vargas and my father headed here in the states after they successfully conquered Texas. Both of them poles apart in character yet they  shared the same thirst for blood. But nothing was going to stop them there. They had the thirst to conquer the states completely.  

“Random bloodshed is bad for business.” My grandfather used to say.

The Mexican Mafia was pushing to impose order, using its muscle to put a chill on turf-oriented rivalries and refocus that energy on the more profit-minded world of illegal drugs. But that was all a show. Everyone knew about how they were kings of the organ trade.

 And in their world women were just a trophy to impose their masculinity. My father was famous for his whore houses. Young virgins were sacrificed each and everyday as their pain became his pleasure. He made billions every year for the flesh trade selling other people’s daughters while he couldn’t care less if someday he has to sell his own daughters. And when they were rendered useless their organs made him profit.  

But they thought the beast was concurred the day her married my mother. But nothing could do so. He was made to dominate. My mother, Ava was seventeen when she married my father fifteen  years her senior. He apparently was so smitten by her beauty that he brutally murdered her parents right in front of her eyes just to make her surrender. But it wasn’t for the sake of  love , it was pure lust. The pure need to make her his captive.

She had me when she was Eighteen. My sister Elena was three years younger than me and my  brother Dante was ten years younger than me. Dante was two when our mother passed away.

A hard slap hit me on my cheek as the sound echoed through my father’s study. I pushed Dante behind me. The day my mother passed away I swore on her dead body that I would keep Elena and Dante safe. I would die for them if needed.  

I could taste the metallic tang of my blood in my mouth. I didn’t get time to register everything as another hard slap hit me slitting my lip as I felt my warm blood trickle down my chin. This wasn’t anything new. I was used to my father’s wrath.

“Fayre! I expected you to behave. But You had to spoil everything like a little putana (prositute).” Father barked at me. 

Even though it wasn’t the first time this was happening but it still hurt like a fresh wound, like a knife stabbing my heart over and over. A father was supposed to protect his child not berate them. But that wasn’t the case with Antonio Vargas. I bear the evidence of his anger on my body.

I could feel Dante shiver behind me but my hand held him tightly. I would do everything in my power to keep my baby brother from the the devil but I had no idea for how long would I be able to do so. After all he was his heir, the future Jefe (boss). Soon he would be trained to be a skilled assassin as ruthless as our very own  father. Sooner or later he would be forced to turn into a monster. He would have blood on his hands.

“You dare to defy Fayre ! Even after knowing that you are the Jefe’s daughter you dared to defy my order. You dared to help Lana run away.”

Lana was my childhood friend and first cousin. Her mother Asha and my mother were sisters. She was orphaned at a young age so all she had in the name of family was us. But my dad didn’t hesitate once before giving her to an fifty year old underboss who had set his eyes on her.  

Family that was supposed to protect her. But little did she know Family was no less than a hollow word in our world. Especially for women. We were worthless from the time we are born until we reach a certain age where we are supposed to warm someone’s bed. To become  someone’s possessions, someone’s whore.  

“Speak up! Where she is and I may spare you ! But if you don’t” His eyes were dark looming with coldness which established him as the merciless Jefe “I will make sure, Shiela teaches you a lesson.”

SHEILA! My father’s whore as everyone called her. But she was much more than that. She was  walking death. She knew endless roads to torture that could break even the best of  Soldados (Soldiers). I was a weakling that she could destroy with one go.  

I could feel the numbness creeping into my of body. I had helped Lana escape further brutality and now if I gave up then it would all be wasteful. I had to hold on to my courage. It was all that I was left with. Sheila can’t break me more than my father had already.

“Sheila! Make sure Dante takes five and Elena ten from that new whip of yours. But first make sure that my eldest daughter gets her fare share. Twenty no less! You can increase it if you want!” He ordered his whore. I could feel tears threatening my eyes but I had to stay strong. In no way was I going to let my siblings suffer.

“Father! Give forty to me.” I managed to speak.

His gaze pierced my skin. “If only you showed this much courage in a positive way than being a little bitch and defying your own father then things would be easier.” He turned around  and walked towards the door.