Faith walk

"Faith Adler!”

My name sounded like a thunderstorm through the principal's mouth inviting me to go and pick up the fake graduation certificate, everyone knew this was a piece of paper. The original was already available for pick up at the principal's office.

This was it, I was finally out of high school. I was finally going to be 18 and ready to help my grandma full time, age is really getting into her and she needs me to stop being a burden, I need to fend for ourselves; it is time.

I stood up from my seat with the applauses from everyone in the old gym, this is a small part of Indiana we lived in. This was the best for us, quiet, separate from everyone, not much drama going on. I believe grandma chose this place for a reason.

We've been moving here and there every two years for as long as I can remember. I think she didn't like to settle for long which had influenced on my social status, I'm a loner, I don't like to make friends. I learned that the hard way. We moved so much that after the third school and the third group of friends I left behind. I felt numb.

I took my seat back feeling my heartbeats slowing down to their usual pace, I hate being in front of big crowds.

I couldn't ignore the tears rolling off my grandmother's face, she's a bag of feelings. She said I reminded her a lot of my mom, but my attitude and black hair like night was all from my father.

I couldn't avoid feeling a little bit sentimental knowing my time as a child, as a teenager was over and I had to dive into the dark real world that she protected me from all this long.

My parents died when I was a kid, she doesn't tell me much about them but I know they would be proud, at least that's what my grandma repeated all this week with the graduation and my 18th birthday coming along. I told her I didn't have plans to go to college, the only excuse I could give her was that "I don't believe in the educational system, if you have too many titles, you wouldn't be able to get a good work for being over capacitated. So why studying and waste my time when I could work and save money wherever I moved?”

We were due for moving, my grandmother was waiting after my birthday for that, we had everything packed to start a new life. Incredible as it seems. We've never been to New York, that was our next stop and she was eager to go. It was not directly in the big city but it was close enough and she will still have a greenhouse.

Due to all of our moving from town to town, I haven't really had a chance to connect and get a boyfriend. The only time I tried, we moved out as soon as I told her because grams didn't want me to get attached to anyone in my youth. Yes, that meant one thing, I was still a virgin.

Grams gave me the talk after that, she said I needed to wait for someone that I felt connected to. When I asked back for what she meant with that, she just said "You'll know".

Apparently I was never going to know now as my social life ended up here.

I was not even going to prom, didn't have anyone to go with and we were moving before then.

After the graduation ceremony was over and all the speeches concluded, I went to Grams. We were having a dinner at the local restaurant and then headed home, she said she's been preparing for my 18th birthday all this long, she did say it was special and that meant a big change for me.

"Grams!" I yelled walking next to her, I was not used to walking on heels, I've had a little practice these last few days and that was pretty much it.

"Congratulations honey"

She hugged me as soon as I was next to her. I was not that tall but was taller than my grandma and with those heels, my chin was almost at the top of her head.

"I really wished your parents were here to see you, they would be so proud."

I didn't want to cry but my eyes sting with the unshaded tears, even so, a lone tear rolled over my cheek which I removed rapidly to avoid worrying grams. She was the one who could cry today, there was no point for me to cry when I was actually happy this was all over.

"You're all I need Grams" I didn’t want her to be worried by being sentimental, I always felt like we were running away from something with all these moving, I know this was not normal. Her excuse, which worked all the time, is her gardening, she got tired of planting the same stuff and moved to another city where she could grow something else. After everything, I just rolled with it, I didn't understand much of gardening anyways.

"Let’s go to the restaurant before everyone else, this way we avoid making lines" she had to whisper so no one else heard that idea, there was probably a lot of people going there as well. I laughed internally, she was such a grandma, she was so normal that my suspicions about running away were discarded almost immediately.

I drove her old pick-up truck to the vintage restaurant in silence, both grandma and I were not that chatty. We like peace and quiet, we could go days just babbling about nuances.

The decorations were shiny and gold, almost everyone who was coming here today came directly from the graduation which is why, for the moment, it was quiet.

We ordered virgin drinks as I was still technically under age and my grams should not be drinking alcohol due to her blood pressure.

"Are you sure you don't want to go to college? We can afford it" she asked for the hundredth time.

"Grams, we can't" I said with a smile, I didn't want to worry her so I reassured her "I don't think I'd like to continue the studies. I need to work, you need to rest and focus on the gardening."

We're moving constantly, so what's the point?

"Hey Faith!" I heard someone yelling for me from the other side of the restaurant.

My eyes crossed path with Jake's, he was the hottest of the school, captain of the football team who I recently heard broke up with the captain of the cheerleading squad. I used to have a crush on him when I first started this high school.

"You going to the party tonight? We're lighting a bonfire" he continued yelling even when my grams was looking at him with killer eyes and the restaurant was starting to fill up with people from school.

I moved my head motioning no just knowing my grams won't let me go so we continued eating in silence.

"You should go, this could be the last party from your high school" I know that even when she said that, she would be way too upset I went out during night time, I could only work at the gas station during the night time but never out partying, I don't know where this is coming from.

"Are you sick? Do you have any fever?" I joked with her knowing this was way out of her limits.

I haven't realized that Jake came forward to our table and was standing right in front of us.

"Hi Mrs. Adler, if you'd like we can pick her up. My mom is driving and picking us up, you can talk to her if you'd like. We promise to bring her back before 12" he kept insisting. 11 PM was her curfew, I know she will say no, as a matter of fact I don't think I'll want to go either, I don't know anybody.

But when I raised my eyes to meet his, I couldn't avoid the blush that ran through my cheeks, he was so cute, blond, the perfect body due to all the exercise he had to do, perfect blue eyes, perfect smile. He was what every girl in the school wanted and he was here inviting me to the after party for our graduation, someone who never talked something else besides classes to him.

"What do you say pumpkin?" my grams normally calls me honey, darling, Faith but the moment where I shouldn't embarrassed, she decides to call me with most embarrassing nickname.

My cheeks flushed immediately lowering my gaze from his, there was a grin on his face that made me the most pathetic girl. Suddenly a cellphone was placed in front of my face making me feel like the perfect stranger.

I didn't have a cellphone, only a landline. My grams said smart phones are always watching us and recording everything for the government so she always avoided that conversation every time I wanted one.

"I'll call when I get there" was his explanation, probably only wanted somewhere to text me.

"I… I don’t have a…"

"Type it here boy, she'll text you later" my grams interrupted me handing him her old flip phone, no internet, no calls, she just used it to text someone I didn't know and when she received a text she would usually delete it right away. She was actually quite suspicious if one could say that.

He quickly typed his phone number and went back to his table after some pleasantries.

"Don't let him get over your head, he's up to no good" was the only thing she said before we continued eating in silence.

We ordered steak because this was a celebration, even when we couldn't drink alcohol, we still ordered the best from the menu.

My grams had a couple of days nervous as if something bad was about to happen and I didn't know how to bring up the topic. She looked scared and every time we mentioned the 18th birthday celebration she would be even more nervous, it's not even like we'll do something big but she kept on repeating it was an important moment for me, she did say we couldn't go out and needed to stay home.

"About your birthday… I need to tell you something" even though she was the one starting the conversation it still looked forced, like she didn't really want to go over it.

"What is it?" I found myself asking knowing that if it was something big she wouldn't say it here, but she looked nervous.

"You're still taking the shift at the gas station tomorrow?" she suddenly asked changing the topic, I don't understand where all of this is coming from.

I nodded as we already talked about this, she wanted me home to prepare everything together. I still don't know what is the whole preparation for. We've done this before, movie night, popcorn and pizza. Not a big deal.

"We need to talk before you go to the party… eighteen, there's this thing…"

"Do you ladies need anything else to drink?" we were suddenly interrupted by the waitress with a big smile so both of our heads looked at her which made her switch her weight from one leg to the other.

"Another one of this and the check please?" grams asked. She now looked annoyed.

Apparently this was a conversation she didn't want to hold but still needed to mention.