The Clicking of Cuthbert

el of

ger-ale in the club-house smoking-room, there was

ber glanced up

to give up golf onc

st been let down badly. Wouldn't you have thought I had a go

s as they are, scarcely indicate the former's superiorit

alk, after being thr

! What h

"and McTavish suddenly discovered that there was a hole in his trouser-pocket and sixpence had dropped out. He worried so f

hook his h

golf-match, it will be a blessing in disguise. There is no such thing as a certainty in

? The American mu

new he once came withi

eur Champions

rd of his pl

and has not touched a club since. Ring the bell and

*

ge, and was feeling particularly pleased with myself because I had secured the job of private and confidential secretary to Vincent Jopp, then

eless for a man to enter that line of business. He possessed also an overwhelming confidence in himself, and the ability to switch a cigar from one corner of his mouth to the other without wiggling his ears, which,

on entering the office each morning to take this pad and type its contents neatly in a loose-leaved ledger. Usually, of course, these entries re

se to

often. On three separate occasions before I joined his service he had jumped off the dock, to scramble back to shore again later by means of the Divorce Court lifebelt. Scatte

e to me was the thorough way in which he had thought the thing out. This iron-willed

y Ame

, the short-coating of Thomas Reginald was arranged for, and there was a note about sending him to school. Many

little thoughtful. He sat for some moments staring before him with his br

t was thus that he ha

pp?" I

t's

ingle figures, and I welcomed the opportunity of dilating on the nob

game,

t," I said, "but it is an offhan

you pl

em straight at all, but lately I've been doing fine. Getting better every day. Whet

interrupted, abruptly, as was his habit. "What I want to know is what a fellow doe

th a stick till it

napped. "Tak

uced m

up golf. What's an

the best player among the amateurs. There is also

rofessionals, are the

teach

the best

h British and American

to come he

in Inverlochty

tell him to name his

Champi

September the tw

ctation. September

pion

amazement, but he w

"September thir-Oh,

er wheat. September thi

I echoed, mois

lay this-what's

over the country. I b

en

a good

y go

y for my beco

*

due course, and was shown

s?" said Vi

id the Ope

ause I hear that you are the greatest

champion, cordia

let us start at once. Name a few of the most important points in connection with the game. My secretary will make notes of them

our hei

mple

imple as

y. "If I decide to keep my head stil

r ee on

attended to.

na p

. And to

basic rules, and I took them down in sh

I had supposed. On the

arp tomorrow, Mr.

?" I

s, a red jacket, a cloth cap, a

e b

hat need is t

learning the game fails to hit his ball straight, and then

traight, I shall drive it straight. Good morning, Mr. McHoots

*

e will hole out with a single care-free flick of his umbrella the twenty-foot putt over which you would ponder and hesitate for a full minute before sending it right off the line. Put a driver in his hands and he pastes the ball into the next county without a thought. It is only when he takes to

just such a spirit did Vincent Jopp start to play golf. He committed McHoots's hints to memory, and then went out on the links and put them into practice. He came to the tee with a clear picture in his mind of what he had to do, and he did it. He was not intimidated, like the average novice, by the thought that if he pulled in his hands he would slice, or if he

lf at the age of fifty-six, and by devising an ingenious machine consisting of a fishing-line and a sawn-down bedpost was enabled to keep his head so still tha

ing somewhere reasonably near it. Vincent Jopp invariably went for the pin. He tried to hole out from anywhere inside two hundred and twenty yards. The only occasion on which I ever heard him exp

ot!" I cried, ge

right," said Vinc

ight trying to adjust his handicap so as to give other members an outside chance against him. The golf experts of the daily papers wrote columns about his play. And it was pretty generally considered throughout the country that it would be a

*

mpanied him round the links with my note-book and his bag of clubs, and the progress of his various matches was somewhat complicated by the arrival of a stream of telegraph-boys bearing important messages. He would read these between the strokes and dictate replies to me, never, however, taking more than the five minutes allowed by the rules for an interval between

to see me. Her card bore the name "Miss Amelia Merridew." Amelia! The name seemed familiar. Then I remembered. Amelia was the name of the girl Vincent Jopp intended

rridew?"

d. "My name will b

d, "in supposing that

Jo

replied. "And, oh,

rs," I said, taking out m

moment, as if

. Jopp in the Final tomo

a

oo much trouble if I asked you to shout 'Boo!' at him w

perp

t under

I am sure you will treat what I

tain

onally engage

ision

gu

his boring me through? I knew that if I said 'No', he would argue me out of it in two minutes. I had an idea. I gathered that he had never played golf, so I told him

that condition," I said. "He took

have become as good as h

! In his lexicon there is n

shud

t to marry somebody else. Oh, won't you help me? Do sh

ok my

a single 'boo' to put Vin

n't you

y duty is to

, d

paramount with me. Besides,

ttered a faint moan

*

ad made that day, when the telephone rang. Jopp was out at the time, taking a short

at Mr.

etary speaking.

ella Mainprice Jopp called up to wish him luck? I shal

s. Soon afterwards th

ent,

s secretar

Mrs. Jane Jukes Jopp ca

re tomorrow to

rdly started when the telep

. J

s secretar

I just called up to wish him luc

be ready for the next call. I had heard that Vincent Jo

ly Jopp

alled up?"

were on the wire wishing you luck. They asked me

to me that the man's

a?" he

as the

an

d J

Agn

I said, "

p. And for the first ti

hat he was

*

was shining brightly. The first eighteen holes were to be played before lunch, starting at eleven. Until twenty minutes before the hour Vincent Jopp kept me busy taking dicta

ut obviously nervous. He giggled in a distraugh

he best man

replied Jopp, curtly, and

ing, from somewhere on the outskirts of this crowd there came sudden

w being led away with bowed head by two members of the Greens Committee. Poor girl! My heart bled for her. And yet, after all, Fate had been kind in removing her from the scene, even in custody, for she could hardly have borne to wat

I remembered reading in the papers that she had divorced my employer for persistent and aggravated mental cruelty, calling witnesses to bear out her statement that he had said he did not like her in pink, an

ig championship against nasty

Jopp, "is my intentio

come and watch me. I w

said, courteously, ind

had just come up. "

been obliged to say that I felt far from well. I had an odd throbbing feeling in the left elbow, and I am

ality, in that he had callously refused, in spite of her pleadings, to take old Dr. Bennett's Tonic Swamp-Juice three times a day, her voice, as she spoke, was kind and even anxious. Badly as this man had treat

thank you, Agnes,"

aring your

across my employ

my liver-pad," he

nt, how ra

ear checked him. A genial-looking woman in a sports coat wa

Jane,"

iendishness on the ground that he had repeatedly outraged her feelings by wearing a white waistcoat with a

" she cried.

looked well in knickerbockers. It was not my place to try to dissuade him, but there was no doubt that they did not suit him. Nature, i

Jopp. "What practical joker ever lured you

gnes Parsons Jopp, "but when he foolishly comes out

said Mrs. Luella Mainprice Jopp, addressing the animal

a positively hunted look. I could understand and sympathize. Napoleon himself would have wilted if he had found himself in the midst of a trio of females,

be starting

k of a man whose back is against the wall. Ten down on the morning's round, he had

ded absently, th

me," he whispered tensely. "

stroke!" I exclaim

th people babbling about liver-pads, and-and

he did it that prepared me for what was to come. His club rose, wavered, f

d?" inquired Mrs. L

itor in the final. He swung with renewed vigour. His ball sang

arsons Jopp, "I hope, Vincent, that yo

allant effort to retrieve the lost ground, but the ball struck a stone and bound

to the se

and's blushing antagonist, "is quite right to wear knickerbockers. He can

Agnes Parsons Jopp, solicitously. "You are quit

never have no wild gleam in zem because he's muzzer's

scaped Vincent J

st nine his lead had been reduced to one, and his antagonist, rendered a new man by success, was playing magnificent golf. On the next hole he drew level. Then with a super

s. The latter played a good second to within a few feet of the green. And th

nce

el

air. When your back was turned just now, he ga

p, "I do hope, when the game is over, Vinc

f it. You take it before breakfast and again before retiring, and they guarantee it to produce firm, healthy flesh on the most sparsely-covered limbs in next to no time. Now, will you

and his hand, as he took the mashie fro

s on his way back to the

*

eatest expert at any stage of the game. In a recent competition George Duncan took eleven shots over a hole which eighteen-handicap men generally do in five. No! Back horses