The Clicking of Cuthbert

ough

rs, in tentative experiment against the coming of nature's annual fancy dress ball, when the soberest tree casts off its workaday suit of green and plunges into a riot of reds and yellows. On the terrace in front of the club-house an oc

girl in every respect. But somehow-I don't know-when I see her pl

ber inclined h

loses in queenly dignity when she fails

d the young man. "But I think her attitu

ater, when I learned that in the privacy of her home she would weep bitterly and bite holes in the sofa cushions, that I realized that she d

arance came out of the club-house carrying a baby swaddled

cketty wicket

ntelligence appeared to

" she said, addressi

he infant. Except to the eye of love,

nably so,"

looks more like hi

the Oldest Member

"Is your husband out

see Wilberforce off on

r is going t

im, but that we must make sacrifices for Willie's good. He was very brave and cheerful about it. Well, I mustn't stay. There's quite a nip in the

er watched her

r late acquaintance in the flannel, I am not in my fi

he wall of the smoking-room. This was decorated from to

istaste, and a touch of asperity crept into his manner. "I don't know why the committee lets it stay there," he said, irritably. "It isn't a bit like." He recovered himself. "But all the others are excellent, excellent, though

ir surmounted a receding forehead. Pale blue eyes looked out over a mouth which wore a p

" exclaimed the you

e the weight off your feet, and I will tell you about him. The story illustrates a favourite theory of mine, that it is an excellent thing that women should be encouraged to take up golf. There are, I admit, certain drawbacks attendant on their presence on the links. I shall not readily forget the occasion on which a low, raking drive of mine at the eleventh struck the ladies' tee box squarely

Genevieve has shown me a bit more respect since she took up the game. When I drive 230 yards after

," said

*

timid, and with women he comported himself in a manner that roused their immediate scorn and antagonism. He was one of those men who fall over their feet and start apologizing for themselves the moment they see a woman. His idea of conversing with a girl was to perspire and tie himself into knots, making the while a strange gurgling sound like the language of some primitive tribe. If ever a remark of any coherence emer

like that?" These caricaturists are too ready to wound people simply in order to raise a laugh. Personally I am broad-minded enough to smile at that portrait of myself. It has given me great enjoyment, though why the committee permits it to-But

llent education, and, even as early as his seventeenth year, I believe, he was going round difficult courses in par. Yet even this admirable gift, which might have done him social service, was rendered negligible by the fact that he was too shy and shrinkin

s which makes the first hole look about 100 yards long instead of 345, Ramsden Waters, alone as ever, stood on the first tee addressing his ball.

in

g the trees on the right of the course. Ramsden turned to perceive, stand

aid the boy

Ramsden Waters's heart looped the loop twice in rapid succession. It was the first time that he had seen Eunice Bray, and, like most men who saw her for the first time, he experienced the sensa

usly braced yourself up and tried to look twice as handsome as nature ever intended you to. You smirked and, if you had a moustache, you would have

id Eunice. She did not speak at all apologetically, bu

e than ever now, his vocal cords appeared to have tied themselves in a knot which wo

of watching gol

he hand, and was abou

culously rec

the nerve to make the suggestion he could never understand. I suppose that in c

said the girl indiffer

shrilled the boy

having him taken off her hands on a fine summer morning, when all nature urg

d Eunice. "He wasn't able to go to the circus last week,

n, his head buzzing, tottered into the ju

Wilberforce as to the details of his home life, and by the end of the round he had learned that Eunice and her brother had just come to visit an aunt who lived in the neighbourhood. Their house was not far

n good condition. Eunice, who had just reached the chapter where the hero decides to give up all for love, thanked

*

d aspired to nothing higher. But the sight of Eunice Bray seemed to have knocked all the sense out of the man. He must have known that he stood no chance of becoming anything to her other than a handy means of getting rid of little Wilberforce now and again. Why, the very instant that Eunice appeared in the place, every eligible bachelor for miles around her tossed his head with a loud, snorting sound, and galloped madly in her direction. Dashing young

on the outskirts listening limply to the aunt. I imagine that seldom has any young man had such golden opportunities of learning all about dried seaweed. Indeed, by the end of the month Ramsden Waters could not have known more about seaweed if he had been a deep sea fish. And yet he was not happy. He was in a position, if he had

ht through the jam and got seats in the front row where they could glare into her eyes a

nd if there was one firm article in Eunice Bray's simple creed it was that she would be hanged if she let Kitty, who was by way of being a rival on a small scale, put anything over on her. I do not defend Eunice, but women are women, and I doubt if any of them really take up

es to devote themselves to her tuition. By degrees she acquired a fair skill and a confidence in her game which was not altogether borne out by results. From Ramsden Waters she did not dema

ich she entered, the annual mixed foursomes. And it was on the same evening

looked on it as an act of God. It seemed to him to draw them close together, to set up a sort of spiritual affinity. In a word, it acted on the poor fellow like a tonic, and that very night he went around to her ho

ore startled

mplimented, Mr.--" She had to p

said Ramsd

Waters. As I say, it'

at

t compl

mured Ramsden

. No girl likes to have to keep going back and trying over her

y, of course,"

e? I don't mean money. I mean something more

ter

that would repay a girl for giving

ried seaweed," sugges

shook h

You have paid me the greatest complimen

msden. "I'll writ

. I am afraid we shal

rs in the mixed fo

Well, mind you play up. I want to wi

I could win you--" His tongue tied itself in a bow knot round his uvula, and he could say no more. He moved slowly to the door, paused with his finge

cool air of the night, with the stars shining down on him. Had those silent stars ever shone down on a more

e average woman, the one with the handicap of 33, who plays in high-heeled shoes-are apt to giggle when they foozle out of a perfect lie, and this makes for misogyny. Only eight couples assembled on the tenth tee (where our foursomes matches start) on the morning after Ramsden Waters had proposed to Eunice. Six of these were negligible, consisting of males of average skill and young women who played golf because it kept them out in the f

for, though the first prize in the mixed foursomes does not perhaps entitle the winners to a place in the hall of fame, Ramsden had the soul

Go for safety. Miss Bingley is a tough proposition, but George Perkins is sure

t hesitation and stammering which usually characterized Ramsden Waters's utterances. Eunice was puzzled. She was also faintly resentful. True, there was not a word in what he had said that was calculated to bring the blush of shame to the cheek of modesty; nevertheless, she felt vaguely that Ramsden Waters had exceeded the limits. Sh

ition, and keep your merry flow of conversation as much as possible to yourself. Y

other will be in the way

oming round," said Rams

of games changes a man's whole nature when on the links. She was thinking o

d and low with a lot of roll

, partner!

Sandy McBean in the plate labelled "The Drive-Correct Finish", to face page twenty-four of his monumental work, "How to Become a Scratch Player Your First Season by

ot, partner!'" sh

one concentrating." He turned to Wilberforce. "And

has been li

Mice make a beastly scratching sound, and tha

ing with the sand

n, I shall be reluctantly

and to have plunked it on to the green with an iron should have been for any reasonable gol

ball, accompanied on the early stages of its journey by about a pound of mixed mud, grass, and pebbles, soared through the air and fell

hole, but there George Perkins, as might have been expected of him, deposited the ball right in among the rocks, and Ramsden and Eunice drew level. The next four holes were halved and they reached the club-house with no advantage to either side. Here there was a pause while Miss Bingle

*

to go into the matter fully. Also, she was conscious of a feeling not perhaps of respect so much as condescending tolerance towards Ramsden. He might be a pretty minus quantity in a d

e next nine," he said. "Stick to the iron.

rimson. You are engaged to be married and I take it that there exists between you and your fiancee the utmost love and trust and understanding; but would you have the nerve, could you summon up the cold, callous gall to tell your Genevi

lf on her use of the wood. Her brother and her brassey were the only

Wat

e further speech Geor

in a bloated way ou

es," observed the boy. "W

" said Ramsd

ure was tense with emotion. She swung vigorously, and pul

en, "you had better use an iro

ace, something seemed to snap in Eunice. A strange sensation of weakness and humility swept over her. So might the cave woman have felt when, with her bac

hearthrug if she spoke a cold word to them she had nothing but scorn. She dreamed wistfully of those brusque cavemen of whom she read in the novels which she took out of the village circulating library. The female novelist who was at that time her favourite always supplied with each chunk of wholesome and invigorating fiction one beetle-

like a kicked spaniel. She had only permitted him to hang round because he seemed so fond of little Wilberforce. And here he was, ordering her about and piercing her with gimlet eyes, for all the world as if he were

f-cowed, ha

as very good with the wooden

t kidder," s

ct for the green. Much as she told herself that she hated this man

partner might have reposed in him, had topped his drive, leaving Mis

with a perfect iron shot, but at the next, the long dog-leg hole,

that combination of stream and lake into which so many well meant drives have flopped. This done, the player proceeds up the face of a steep slope, to find himself ultimately on a green which looks like the sea in the storm scene of a melodrama. It

r was the hymn for those in peril on the deep, into which category, he feared, his ball would shortly fall. Breathing a few bars of this, he swung. There was a musical click

ey, speaking for the first and last t

e a gambler who has placed his all on a number at roulette

shots and had missed a short putt on the last green but three. She had that consciousness of sin which afflicts the golfer off his game, that curious self-lo

e heel of her left foot was pointing down the course. Her grip had shifted, and her wrists felt like sticks of boiled asparagus. As the club began to descend she perceived that she had underestimated the total of her errors. And when the ball,

ng three, and his opponents' ball would undoubtedly be on the green, possibly even dead, in two. Nevertheless, perhaps,

ll you that Ramsde

le on the tee, then settled down in its original position. Ramsden

n effort almost physically painful not to break. Rich oaths surged to his lip

broken by litt

ers have overlooked. Wilberforce Bray had, if you remember, tucked away no fewer than three in the spot where they would do most good.

!" said littl

nd began to play with the sand. The spectacle of his alluring trouser seat was one which a stronger man would have found it hard to resist. To Ramsden Waters it

e scr

you kick m

ed her, ste

similar circumstances

gel Ga

to his ball,

paid no attention at all to the drama which had just conclu

ce, who was painfully extricating himself from a bed of nettles into which he had r

t of wrath at the kicking of her brother had died awa

ir criticism with glutinous praise, had mildly suggested that some people found it a good thing to keep the head still when driving and that though her methods were splendid it might be worth trying. They had spoken of her keeping her eye on the ball as if she were doing the ball a favour. What she wanted was a great, strong, rough brute of a fellow who would tell her not to move her damned head; a rugged

*

erly for having ruined for ever his chance of winning the only girl he had ever loved. How could she forgive him for his brutality? How could she overl

. He turned to Taylor "On the Chip Shot", and the master's pure style seemed laboured and involved. He found solace neither in Braid "On the P

el

en's hand. "I've just remembered. Weren't we talking about something last n

ulped thr

he replie

ettle anythi

E

rt of left it

uk

said Eunice's soft voice, "to come

en to

Eunice. "Little Wilberforce ha

o disentangle his tongue

ht over!" he