Torchy and Vee

, whether it's quick action from an office boy or a two-thirds majority vote from the board of directors. But once in a while I seem

nagers between here and Altoona, to say nothing of freight conductors, yard bosses and so on. But I'd untangled those nine cars and got 'em movin' toward the North River, and now I was steamin' through a lot of office detail that had piled up while I was gone. I'd lunched luxurious on an egg sandwich and a war do

I, "but Mr. Ellins wo

' off a piece of glass. "A

m the Ordnance Depa

ck at 11:15-if this sector hasn't been captured in the meantime," and as he double-quick

s until my red-haired disposition got below the

, didn't y

e understand," says he. "What

og hidin' under a roll-top desk for fear someone'll kick me out where a parlor Pomeranian will look cro

otests Piddie. "Why, ev

, I'm still floatin' around here with nothing worse than car dust on my tailor-built khaki. Why, even them bold Liberty bond patriots who commute on the 8:03 are tired of asking me when I'm going to be sent over to

hat I passed out to Old Hickory a little later on. He listens about as s

hat, as the head of an essential industry, I am entitled to a private secretary; also that you might

ether I'm private seccing or getting ready for a masquerade ball. Any one-legg

ne doesn't chuck back at the United States government because of any personal whim. It isn

ting officers weren't passing any but young Sandows. I cou

oughtful on the mahogany desk, and th

ll see what my friend, Major Wellb

do anything for me that th

lf an hour before I'm called in. I could guess just by the way the major glares fond at me that if he

And his training has been what? Four years as office boy, three as private secretary! It's

mit that you may be right, so far as it's being folly to send this young man to th

e that we try to find youngsters who've been trained to handle men; who know how to get things done. What we don't want is-eh? Someone calling me on the 'phone? All right. Yes, this is

s to be enjoyin' the major's rush of temperament to the ears. Anyhow, there's a familiar flicker under them bushy eyebrows of

when a regular army captain makes up his mind that a thing can't be done-well, it

, "he has made you think that

etting at? Still harping on that red tape notion, are you? Perhaps you imagine this to be a c

in miracles; but when we decide that a thing ought to b

t see here; why not tap your amazing efficiency for my benefit. This little job, for instance, which one of our po

lins. "I would simply turn it ove

says he, "you probably don't realize it, but that's the sort of stuff which

ckory, "but I'll bet you

hen he turns to me. "When

where I'm startin

New York Telephone Co. for five spools of wire which you'll find

ays I. "And s

" says he. "I shall be having tea there. Ellins, you'd be

er General's O. K., and while these two old sports are still chucklin' at each othe

major must think his twenty-five was as safe as if he'd invested it in thrift stamps. As for Old Hickory Ellins, he'd toss aw

and that's sayin' a good deal. But maybe you've noticed what's been happenin' along there where Fifty-ninth street gets high-toned? Looks like an earthquake had wandered by, but it's only that down below they're connectin' the new su

And to make the job of movin' 'em all the merrier an old cement mixer has been at work right next to 'em and the surplus c

ok like a loose front tooth. And all I got to do is pull 'em

nearly three hours left before I'd have to listen to the major's mirthsome cackle, and I might as well spend part of it thinkin' up fo

nounces that the offensive is all over for half an hour or so. Up towards Columbus Circle more industry was goin' on. A steam roller was smoothin' out a strip of pavement that had just been relaid, and nearer by a gang was tearin' up more of the asphalt. I got kind of interested in the way they was doin' it, too. You know, they used to

nobody in particular. I was just register

ticin' what a husky, tanned lot they were, and from their hat cords that they belonged to the artille

some transport? No friends, mighty little money, and nothing to do but tramp the streets or hang around the Y. They actually looked kind of grate

t," says I. "I'm lookin

says he, "with not a thi

a boss ditch digger," says I. "It's nothing offic

. 'Shun! And forget those dope sticks for a minut

ressive, I guess," says

sergeant. "By twos!

n this gang foreman I has him bug-eyed from the start.

n?" says I, wavin' the Q

s I could have guessed without

ple have done your best to bury? Well, those have been requisitioned from the Telephone Company by

ke, "'tis a private contract they're

transport that's due to sail the first thing in the morning. It's for the

id Mike, "but I w

says I, "d

knees and convinced him that he wouldn't be shot for an hour or so

ooden spools, specially after a couple of our doughboy squad, who'd worked pneumatic riveters back home, took hold of the drills. Others fished s

bashful about callin' for help. From then on I didn't let much assistance get away from me, either. Yankin' the spools out to the street level by

thin' up a bit,

ive of them spools lookin' new and brig

sir?" asks t

ng these things is waiting at the Plutoria, about ten bloc

s heavy gun bunch can move anyt

of the spools, puts a man on either side to push, an

t I'm goin' to provide your squad with a little musi

he park towin' half a drum corps that I'd borrowed from some

Fifth Avenue. First there's me, then the drum corps, then the sergeant a

-picked heroes. They've seen the French Blue Devils at close range, gawped at the Belgians, and chummed with the Anzacs. But, say, this spool-pushin

ew rollin' tanks

guy. "Them's wooden bombs the

me I tried not to look too chesty. But when I wheeled the procession into the side street and got 'em bunched tw

orm jumps right in with the prompt protest. He wants to know what the blin

it! Take 'em a

. "Sergeant, if he gets messy, roll one of

he major's there, all right, and Mr. Ellins, also a couple of la

"Our gallant young office lieutenant

are outside,

at!" h

have 'em put

the taxi starter, the manager

r, pointin' me out. "He's the

h, he's a good sport. He comes right

y necessity, sir. Well, perhaps you don't like it, but I'll have you understand,

one of the ladies, gr

tel persons must be put in their place. And if you will excuse me for a moment I'll

," says he, "that they were stuck i

unstick 'em. Pneumatic drills a

tain think of-- But, see here, I don't want 'em h

e. Loadin' 'em on a couple of army trucks would be easier, though. There'

p. Come in, will you, lieutenant and-and

he major announces that

adds, "that you win your t

this and pass on my hundred to Torchy here. He mig

wasn't enough change left to buy a sportin' extra. But they'd had chow in the giddiest lobster palace under the white lights, they'd occu

s paddin' into the general offices, he

or's opinion," he remarks, "as to the general

do I get a recommend for active duty

s than a divisional command, and there aren't enough of those to go around. Chiefly, though, he thinks that anyone who is able to get things done in New York in th

s," says I. "I expect