Torchy and Vee

little idea all right and ought to get us in strong with a whole lot of people, but if he don't quit I kn

liar way. Auntie's method, of course, is by throwin' out the scornful sniff. It was while she was payin' us a month's visit one week way last summer, out at our four-acre estate on Lo

imes in Vee, "do show

hoes and rakes and things, and I studied up the catalogues until I could tell the carrots from the cucumbers; but I must admit that beyond givin' the diffe

ate in paper bags. It was partly on his account, you know, that we left our studio apartment and moved out in the forty-five minutes commutin' zone. Then, too, there was Joe Cirollo, who comes in by the day to cut the grass and

eyebrows and remarks: "A garden? Really! I should like

have a lo

s of corn and string beans and peas-and I hope I called 'em all by t

on, "it seems to me you ought to be ra

ys I, "ducks and hens and geese and

I didn't know one could ra

sin' things," says I, "

d to see what success

"Drop around a

nd rehearse all this innocent little bluff of mine to Vee, would

after Auntie's gone. "How cou

old Leon been beggin' to go into the duck and chicken business for months? With eggs near a dollar a doz

ad. "The chickens and the ducks, yes; but the turkey--" He

ys I. "Ah, come, Leon

up part of the old carriage shed as a poultry barracks and with a mile or so of nettin' they fenced off a run down to the little pond. And by the middle of August we had all sorts of music to wake us up for an early breakfast. I nearly laughed a rib loose watch

e halfway down to the station from us. The Basil Pynes, a young English couple, we found out they were. Course, Vee started

with stooped shoulders and so short sighted that he has to wear extra thick eyeglasses. He'd come over to work for some book publishin' house b

the lit'ry game, with that monicker hung on him.

m sure you'll find him real inte

art, that's what he wants to know about. And from the friendly look in the mild gray eyes behind the thick panes, and the earnest way he has of stretchin' his ear you'd think that what you was tellin' him was the very thing he'd

about it. With the help of Vee's set of books and a little promptin' from her I gives him an earful. I even tows him down cellar and points ou

sn't that perfectly rippin'! Yo

we're eatin' the he-hens when

so good at whatever you take up. And you such a hard d

I. "As a matter of fact, I'm only just startin' in. Next thin

were so difficult to raise. But I've no do

e to show you," says

d be ready by Christmas, but both Vee and Leon insists that it can't be done. Se

r the goods. If we can't start 'em from the seed what's the matter with gettin' s

te as big as a piano box and we turns 'em loose in the chicken yard. When I paid the bill I was sure Joe had been stuck

an fatten 'em up maybe we'll

Joe. "We maka

w that no matter how they was cooked they'd taste of money. All I

f on their necks?" I asks Joe. "A

o, no. Dey gooda tur

it's the fashion. I don

gh. All he'll do is shake his head dubious. "They walk wi

as it is their white meat. Even at that, when it comes

. Me, I raised them as a boy in Perronne. But the turkey! Pouff! He is what you call sil

. But Joe, on the other hand, treats 'em like pets. I don't know how many times a day he feeds 'em, and he's always luggin' one up to me to show how hea

pecial. Basil, he's all prepared to be thrilled as I tows him out. "But you

lutely,

nary!" s

n' through the wire with a panicky look on his face.

ybe da go bughouse, may

round, bumpin' against each other and runnin' into the fence, with their tails spread and their long necks wa

d!" say

s I. "They're just tryin' the duck waddle, imitatin' their neighbors in the next run. Turkeys a

s Basil. "I never

they'll get over it in an hour or s

d after he's gone I op

"what you been f

' for his ducks. And what do you guess? Well, him and Leon had gone into the home-made wine business last fall, utilizin' all them grapes we grew out in the back lot, and o

eys for life but you've made me hand Mr. Pyne some raw natur

," says Joe, h

it was a bum hunch. Now see they have plenty of wat

untie blows in again, to pay a farewell visit before startin' South, and the turkeys sli

had to ditch that. Couldn't

says she. "But the various kinds of po

ust come out and-- Well, Leo

ld Leon, scrapin' his fo

hey're doing that new tro

s Leon. "They have be

"Oh, oh, I guess it

ef, les pieds dans le ciel. Thus!" And he ill

doubt Leon is right. Turkeys require expert care and handling, and when

d," says I. "Anyway

th their feet in the air, and as stiff

on 'em," says I. "Good night, turks! You

obsequies was Auntie. I will say, though, that she don't try to rub it in. No, she tells of similar case

now," says she, "is

ays I,

and trimming hats," says Auntie, "while the smaller ones are

d to call 'em a t

as me round up Joe to help. When I left they were all three busy and the turkey feathers were

aiser, I'm a f

hat it's your faul

" says I. "

insists on givin' about the folly of amateurs tacklin' jobs they know nothing about. As it is I has to

s this morning? Are they still practicing that

ake Basil out back somewhere and choke him, when in rushes old Leon with a wild look on his

let's have it," says I.

" says Leon.

ng it if you can'

e Dieu! Les din

ff, Leon," says I, "and le

urkeys!" h

ay, have a heart! Can't anybody think of a more cheerful li

on. "They-they ha

ave been sampling some of them wine

puts in Leon. "Me, I have seen them wi

last night I saw you throw

says Leon.

back lot. And say, once again Leon is right. There they are, all huddled together on the lowest branch of a bent-over apple

il, starin' through

lf express it,

happened to th

vice of a turkey expert"-here I glances at Auntie-"we decided that they were dead, and we picked 'em to conserve their feathers. Swell idea, e

"Aren't they just too absurd!

ys I. "What's the next move?" I asks Au

she does she's right there with the bright little

" sa

tical. Of course, I've never seen it done, but I'm sure they'll get along just

ladies to knit sweaters fo

asks Vee if she hasn't some old flan

and Leon rigs up a wood stove in their coop, shoos the flock in, and proceeds t

sure had done a neat job of costumin', considerin' the fact that they'd had no paper patterns to go by. But somehow they'd doped out a one-piece union suit cut high in the neck with sort of a knickerbocker effect to the lower end. Mostly they seemed to h

too cute for anyth

o many floor-walkers. I hope they ain't going to be hard o

," says Vee. "We shall be e

ys I. "As for me, I shouldn't feel like tellin' Joe to kill

y more live turkeys, I'm going to demand a wr