Torchy and Vee

sprung that line, or Willie Collier; but whoever it was he said a whole bookful at onc

young sports who always think they can tell. More'n that they always will, providin' they can get anybody to listen. About any

mething to do with the choice of topic. For out in Madison Square park the robins were hoppin' busy around in the flower beds, couples wer

rung in on a midnight studio supper down in Greenwich Village and the little movie star who mistook him for Charley Zukor. Izzy would spin that if he got half an openin'. It was

in' the last two months checkin' supplies for the front at St. Nazaire. He was relatin' an A. W. O. L. adventure in which a little French girl by t

u should have seen what I tumbled into one night up in Belgium. We'd plugged twenty-six kilometers through the mud and rain that day and was billeted swell in the town

n balcony over the front door noway. Finally I takes a chance on workin' some of my French and knocks at a blue door. Took me some time to raise anybody, and when a girl does

the dove of peace. She tried to tell me all about it, and I expect she did, only I couldn't comprenez more'n a quarter of her rapid fire French. But the idea seemed to be that I was a he-angel of the first class who deserved the best there was in the house. Maybe I didn't get it, too. The Huns hadn't been gone but a few hours and t

"We admit the vintage champagne, and the paté de fo

s mark plastered all over everything, from the napkins to the mantelpiece. Maybe I don't know one when I get a close-up, same as I did then. Huh! I'

ays Izzy. "I'll bet it was som

t my hand for a getaway shake when she closes in with a clinch that makes this Romeo and Juliet balcony scene look like an old maid's fare

exempts. "You've even got ol

jokes, old Jones. And as he happens to be sittin' humped over here in the corner bru

y killer in his time, eh

oo, and Skip follows it up with a

nnin' circle of young hicks while Budge Haley is demandin': "I

the bent shoulders and his being deaf in one ear helps. But as a matter of fact, I don't think he's quite sixty. To judge by the fringe, he once had a crop of sandy hair that w

. You can't get his goat. He just holds his hand up

es that used to go wild o

led. Then he shakes his head slow. "No," says he

that'll hold you, eh?" someone remarks. And as they dri

nesey have to forget? They tell me he's been with the Corrugated twenty years or more. Why, he must have been on the payroll befo

green parrot nearly as old as he is. They say he baches it there, cookin' his meals on a one-burner oil stove,

Jonesey stays. He drills around, fussin' over the files, doing things just the way he did twenty years ago, I suppose, but never gettin' in anybody's way or pullin' any grouch. I've got so I don't notice him any more t

ry's private office and finds this picturesque lookin' bird with the three piec

cin' at a card, "this is Se?or

just as though I wa

to tell me something very important, I've no doubt, to him. As it happens I am rather busy on some affairs o

s I. "This

says he.

p this noon orderin' an omelet, but maybe we can get somewhere if we're both patient. Here w

a real live wire. He looks me over sort of doubtful, stroking the zippy lit

"in quest of Se?o

look thoughtful. "No such par

ys he. "That I h

admit that much as a starter.

, spreadin' out his hands eloq

l whenever he got stuck. Course, this fallin' back on his native tongue must have been a relief to him, but it didn't help me out much. Some I could guess at, and when I

n along. Yohness had gone to Cuba years ago, way back before the Spanish-American war. I take it he was part of a filibusterin' outfit that was runnin' in guns and ammunition for t

ips and lands his stuff, but then has the nerve to stick around the island and even take a little trip into Havana.

Se?or assures me, but red enough so he wouldn't be mistaken easy for a Spaniard. He'd have gotten awa

adn't been specially priced for more pesos than you could put in a sugar barrel, this was a hot time for any American to be lallygaggin' around the ladies in that particular burg. For the Spanish knew all about where the reconcentrados were getting their firearms from

the Governor's Palace. And the lady herself! The Honorable Pedro shudders as he rel

nyway, after one or two long distance exchanges she drops out a note arranging a twosome in the palace gardens by moonlight. It's a way they have, I understand. And this Yohness gu

shrubbery before sundown, when the general public is chased out of the grounds and a guard set at the gates. Per

nch gettin' real well acquainted-maybe callin' each other by their first names and whisp

when he was young himself. Maybe he had one of his sporty secretaries in mind, or some gay young first lieutenant. However it was, he connected with a

cle, either, who would stand off and chuckle a minute before interruptin' with a mild "Tut-tut, now, young folks!" No. He's a reg'lar movie drama uncle. He gets purple in the gills. He snorts through his mu

pink thatch of Yohness that gave him away, or whether Uncle could tell an

words as a throat gargle. "A curs-ed Gr

went on livin' or not. He hadn't acted as though he cared much. But he wasn't going to let a nice girl like the Donna

while I sketch out how it was all my f

, slashin' away enthu

teel merely swished through the space he'd just left and before Uncle could get in another swing something heavy landed on him and he was being gripped in four places. Before the old boy knew what wa

shrubbery with his toe, "but you mustn't act

ning that now he had spilled the beans for fa

Yohness. "That is, i

inish. "And this also," she adds, handin' Yohness a military cap with a lot of gold braid on it. "We will go togethe

is part of the yarn, "was what I call good

e box, took the reins himself and drove until near daybreak, when he dropped the fair Donna Mario at the house of an

night after that, eh?" says I. "Reg'lar th

dro. "It is for t

the idea I can trace out Yohness for you? Suppose I could, though, how would y

ey should meet again. They never have, nor will. She is no more. For years she lived hidden, in fear of her life. Then the war came. Her uncle was driven back to Spain. Later her friend died, but she left to Donna Mario her

hy ask me? How do you hook up the Co

letter. "This came to Donna Mario just before

in the old building, long before my time. But as far as

llin' it out loud, "Y-o-n-e-s. You

but that's as near as I can get it. An

our description. In fact, I don't believe there's anybody by the name of-Yes, th

r Jones-who knows?

ever pullin' stuff like that. Say, why not have him in and tax hi

usual, and without spillin' anything of the joke I

"This gentleman comes from

" says Jonesey, sort of drag

" says I.

ong time ago,"

Pedro. "Were you not kn

"Why-I-some might

re, Jonesey; you don't mean to

k. But at the same time I notice his han

rita Donna Mario," cu

n' from one to the other of us slow and dazed, as if something was tricklin' down int

Mario," he repeats,

ng like the ring you're coverin' up th

s a looped string over his head, and holds o

g of Donna Mario

g around Havana, made love to the Governor General's niece, trussed him up like a roasting turkey when he interfered, and escaped

a long time ago

that a hundred thousand dollar sugar plantation was about to be wished on him. Oh, yes, he'd go do

er like to," sa

til tomorrow noon. I want you to hear what

shuffles back to his old files I hears him mumblin', sor

an't always tell. Even when the pa