Torchy and Vee

t been I never would have believed it of him. Not if he'd produced affi

uld almost tell that, just by his name-Ernest Sudders. And when I add that he's assistant auditor in th

music teacher in a girls' boarding school. But I doubt if he'd ever been such a success as he was at the high desk. Seemed like he was born to be an assistant auditor. He was holdin

his sleep. He looks the part, dresses the part, thinks the part. He don't work at it, he lives it. Talk about this

lar and sets it off with a black ascot tie and a pearl stickpin. Also he sports the only black cutaway that's worn reg'lar into the General Offices. Oh, yes, Ernie could go on at a minu

ver has to hunt for a bunch of stray figures. He has everything cross-indexed neat and accurate. He's that way about everythin

d Hickory Ellins. The only ones he ever seems to mind much though are the lady typists. The hardest thing he does during the day is whe

ng pleasant words to Ernie. "Honest now," I'll ask him, "which one

nt and protest: "Now, say, Torchy! You know

l," I'll say, "but I'

though, that he kind of likes it. These skirt-shy boys usually do. And as a matter of fact I expect the only fe

by towin' him to a joint where the lights were bright and they were apt to have silver buckets on the floor. I was hoping he might see some perfect lady li

just what it was we was workin' on and how we might not be through until quite late. And Sister had advise

ou 're that way now what'll

t of getting married

n' you'll meet just the right babidoll and the next thing we know you'll be sendin' us at home cards. You act inn

sps with horror

I. "I expect, though, you'd like to hav

"I have never-Well, not since I was a mere

says I. "What a long sp

a view of some of this fancy skatin' they're pullin' off there. But that ain't Ernie's plan at all

" says I. "This dinner is on the house, you kno

. I expect this idea of chargin' it on th

ill protestin' that he really didn't care for this sort of thing-cabaret stunts and all that-and me kiddin' him along as

gawp act. You could hardly blame us, for here in a taxi by the curb is-Well, it would take Robert Chambe

the real thing in the lady line, though how I knew it's hard to tell. Also she's a home-grown siren that works without the aid of a li

scouted around to see if there wasn't someone else in line. No, t

ho's your friend wit

a beauty parlor. It's the 18-karat kind, done up sort of loose and careless, but all the more dangerous for that. And with

me?" whispers Ernie husky

might have let on you didn't see her, and strolled back after you'd given me the

know her at all

air of bare arms and remarks real folk

acquainted with you, th

ke a poor prune when he was kidded by the flossy key pounders in the office, but almost any nut could see this was an entirely different case. Here was a

st be some mistak

y wise. You can't walk off and leave her with her han

a push and Ernie sta

the lady murmur, "but I kne

in, the chauffeur had got the signal, and as the taxi started off toward Fifth Avenue I

n't the kind of a female party a man could forget easy, if he'd ever really known her. Specially a gink like Ernie who'd had such a limited experience. Nor she wasn't the type that would go out cruisin' in a cab after perfect strangers. Not her. Besides, ha

ks I, "or else the lady has made the mistake of her life. If she has she

in buffaloed me, or what? If he had, who was his swell lady friend? And how did she come to be waitin' there in the taxi? By the way she was costumed she might have been on her way to some dinner dance on Fifth Avenue. That was a perfectly spiffy evening dress she had on, what there was of it. And I could rem

I was yawning. I'd just decided to quit and loaf around the station until the theater train w

busted in on one side, one end of his wing collar has been carried away and is ridin' up t

" says I, gaspy. "Must

recoverin' his usual stiff-neck pose. But it's a flat failure. So he g

you think sho-p

says I, "and it tells me you'

ve been drinkin'?"

I should say you'd

s nashur'," protests Ernie. "Merely fe

en it was a reg'lar party? E

as-as I am myshelf," says he, chuc

u?" says I. "I expect that was the love

of them silly smiles. "Tha's ri'

ys I, "how long has

That this was the first time he'd ever seen her. Uh-huh! He sticks t

ll," says he. "Th

cked you out all on account of your compelling beauty? Must have been a

scene again, and then remarks: "Thash when I begun to

ays I. "But where did

so that the waiter's head was shiny, like an egg. He thought it must have been at some hotel on Fifth Avenue. Yes, they went in through a sidewalk canopy. It was

w York's favorite winter sports.

I'm her guesh

for the dent in your hat and the other rough-house signs. Somebody must have g

nd tryin' to scowl. "Most-most di

where?" I

nie. "I-I don't care for he

e took you home af

then. Right in the mood. 'Certainly,' says I. Feeling friendly. Patted waiter on back, waved to orchestra leader, shook handsh with perfec

nd away from his chin fretful, and indulges in a dee

I, "that you did m

addy. Grabsh me by the collar. 'You, you loafer!' says he. Then the lovely Louishe comes to rescue. 'Can't you see, daddy?' she tells him. 'It's Ernie. Found him at lash.' 'Ernie who?' demandsh daddy. 'I-I forget,' says Louishe. 'Bah!' saysh daddy. 'Lash time it was Harold, wasn'

idn't insist on you

ces, and while the fine old butler held the front door open he got more impetuous than ever. A

"Couldn't even shay good

at when you pay your dinner call. By the wa

the street and number, and when he came out he was too much an

en kidnapped by a lovely lady, had a swell dinner, with plenty of fizz on the side, been introduced to a strong-arm father, and finished on

mself, sort of satisfied, and rema

ll that," says I. "But

air thoughtful and

she say anything about herself,

remember t

the chat abo

she said she'd been looking for me

I. "That must have be

Ernie. "But

w what her name is, or where she live

says Ernie

d you out to a hotel where you can hit the feathers for about ten hours. My hunch is that a pitcher of ice water is going to look migh

g to the office myself next day, but I finds Ernie at his desk looking hardly any the worse for wear

glancin' around c

m no sieve. But I'm wondering if

n't recall much of anything except that Louise-- Well, she did show

ccasionally strike twice in the

ystery like that up to me without going through a few Sherlock Holmes motions. So that evening finds me wandering through Forty-fifth Street

d bus that had been repainted by some amateur. And I was willing to bet there wasn't another in town just like it. Also it's the one Ernie had s

gun play in it, and some you can't. This mutt looked like he'd be up to anything. But when I asks him if h

ht," says I. "No

but my big line, son,

ory any?" says I, slippin

kale. "Aw, you mean the party w

s just curious to know

out of there, third door above.

out for a squint. "Look

e taps his head. "She's a sample. I've had her before. They slip out now and then. La

I, "I expe

. The mystery of the lovely Loui

ere at his high desk, gazin' sort of blank at nothing at all and kind of smilin

yet from

says Ernie,

nd it to you, Ernie; you're a cagey o

tin' so he can walk past that line of lady typists and give 'em the once o