More Than Desire

Annelise

I lifted the parasol and held it tight, so tight I noticed my knuckles turned white. I waited for the car to pass, and the damn umbrella threatened to fly. Just at that moment, when I had the opportunity to move forward, the car squealed and a puddle of water exploded. I threw myself back, muttering curses I didn't even know I knew. The asshole even had the audacity to stick his arm out the window and give me the middle finger!

Anger hit me at that moment.

I narrowed the corners of my eyes and prepared to run, I could easily reach him and throw the umbrella in his precious black BMW. I would be really super happy.

I looked down and noticed my dress was soaking wet. The rain had started to soak me since I left the house. I was hoping not to hitch a ride with Brad today, my neighbor. He's had a crush on me since I moved from the apartment I was in to this one-the apartment was smaller and cost a lot more. My life has readjusted since I lost my job, and I've had to evaluate everything ever since. I know using a guy who has a crush on you is bad, but seriously, he likes to do it. Nobody got arrested for deceiving a guy.

I looked both ways and saw that no car was coming. I ran across the street until I reached the other side.

I stared at the front of the Pet's Cute Shop and smiled. It was right here. I looked at the crumpled paper I was holding and went inside, checking out the place. I saw Abby petting a puppy. She wore a pink blouse, matching bow tie and denim skirt. When she saw me, she smiled. I closed the umbrella and placed it on my wrist. I accidentally bumped into a pile of "Hunger Cat" cat food on the shelf. The bags dropped to the floor like dominoes. Abby narrowed her eyes and raised an eyebrow. She got up and the dog whimpered, asking for more affection. He got up on his hind legs and braced his front paws on the yellow pen. A very cute puppy! Abby put her hands in her pockets and the naughty smile appeared. I noticed only then that the umbrella was dripping.

Oh God... you're terrible, Annelise!

"Hi," she said. I ran closer and jumped, grabbing her in a tight hug. - Did someone die? She joked.

Generally, I almost never visited her. Last month, I remember seeing her for just one day a week. The move wore me out and I spent the rest of the day looking for a job. It was hell.

I released her.

"I had time today," I informed her, putting my arm through hers and pulling her along, leading her into her own shop, as if I already knew what every corner of this place held. - So I decided to visit my favorite sister.

"I kind of got scared now. She tilted her head. - What happened?

Ever since I got fired from my old job, I've avoided talking to Abby. She was like the realization of a dream just not imagined by anyone, you know? At twenty-six, she was married to a handsome guy, Mike Montgomery, a nurse, had two beautiful daughters-two little brats named Hannah and Maryah-and managed to open the pet shop she'd dreamed of since she was little. And I, at twenty-five, couldn't even hold down a silly secretary job! We were competitive and that would be declaring that I had lost the round.

"Nothing," I assured him. She stopped, frowned, and I added, "Okay... I kind of found a job. The pay is good, the job is good...

- But?

"But the boss sucks. she said vehemently. "He ignores me, he's abused and an asshole. She nodded. "And I don't know if..." The words died in my mouth. She took my hand and her warm touch warmed my chest.

Shaffer & Sheppard was everyone's dream. The job was perfect and nice. A week ago, when I applied to be a secretary for one Chase Ward, I had no idea that the guy was practically the devil's ward. The bastard kept me late every day, barely showed up at the office, and forced me to make his idiotic demands. During the interview, he stared at me like I was just a poor begging. But if there's one thing I have to admit, it's that the asshole is terribly sexy. The perfect face-which I supposedly wanted to lick-was made up of vibrant blue eyes, a toothy grin that was painfully cheeky, and a dimple that was purely tempting. I might have imagined what the muscular body looks like behind the tailored suit. But none of that erases the fact that he's a cocky asshole. I considered quitting the job, even though I've only been there for two and a half weeks. I needed Abby's opinion, because she was a lot more sensible than I ever was.

"Are you thinking about quitting your job?" She read my mind, but her voice sounded strangely surprised, as if I'd just said I kidnapped an elephant. - No.

- No? She shook her head no.

I held the bag under her arm.

What I wanted? After all, she was the sensible one.

"You can't give up on an job because of your boss, Anne," she said, walking past me and bending down. She took one of the bags of feed and placed it back on the red shelf. She hooked another package onto the hook on top of the other. I drummed my feet on the paw-speckled tile floor and braced my hands on my hips, waiting for the rest of the answer. "And besides, you need the job. She looked at me over her shoulder.

She was right.

Abby got up and walked across the store. I followed her. She placed herself in front of a pen full of kittens. She took each one, kissed them and said good night.

My shoulders dropped, lighter.

It's been a long day today, but my boss let me go early because I had a fancy, futile party to go to with Mr. Sheppard, the brother of Mr. Shaffer, who founded the company. I couldn't wait to get home and take off my heels, which were so tight on my feet I thought they were going to explode at any moment.

Abby kissed the tenth kitten and looked at me.

'What are you still doing here?' - She asked.

That was another interesting point in our relationship: I kind of only visited her when I needed something-which I really didn't need. She was my older sister, so it was only natural that any larger questions I could answer would be dealt with through the elder brothers' divine filter.

I pretended to be silly.

- Do you want me to leave?

"No, but usually you just use me and throw it away. A smile crossed my lips. - Want dinner? Mike made macaroni and cheese.

I evaluated the idea.

Yea! My stomach screamed.

Do not. My mind decreed.

- I can not. I have to answer some emails, check the tasks my boss asked me to do, and organize my schedule for the third time in a single day." She grimaced.

- How boring.

- So it is.

***

I went straight home after visiting my sister. She spent nearly half an hour talking about Hannah and Maryah. Then I ran to the subway and got home. I took a quick shower, put on a robe, and fell into bed, surrounded by papers, notebook, and colorful pillows - my biggest secret since high school. I answered a few emails, drank a mug of coffee I'd brewed as soon as I arrived, and snuggled under the blanket. I went to the anonymous chat site I discovered a month ago and talked to a stranger for almost an hour. Secret People Chat was almost an addiction. My father used to say it was wrong to talk to strangers, but I didn't listen to him, because since I was fifteen I've loved chatting with strangers. Back in the day, I used to send notes to schoolmates and we would always talk over those notes. This evolved over time, and I found anonymous chats on the internet. But then, last month, when I found myself at the worst time of my life, I discovered Secret People Chat. It was unusual. Single. I was comforted by people I didn't even know, but who seemed to be by my side, supporting me, since I was born. It was surreal.

I opened the notebook and looked for someone. I saw a dot in the top corner. Mr. Blue Balls.

I smiled, finding it funny.

I opened the chat and typed:

How much time? - A.

I asked, referring to the last time he came.

The balls started to go up and down.

The characteristic excitement filled my stomach.

Mr. Blue Balls. he said:

It depends. - Mr. Blue Balls.