Her Imperfect Life

January 6, 2020.

"Tracy,what time is your first class?" Mum shouts from the kitchen.

"8am", I replied from my bedroom. I searched for my phone to check the time, it's 7:00am. I have 30 mins more left to eat and dress up, I know I spend so much time when I'm dressing up. Then I keep 30 mins for the road. I Know how hard it is over here to find a means of transportation. I'd have to trek a few kilometres to where I'll get a bike. Then to the park where I'll get a minibus. I'll have to alight from the mini bus when we get to the circus and pick a tricycle which will finally take me to school, all these plus possible traffic congestions. This is what happens when your parents decide to live in the rural part of town phewww!!!

I know mum is preparing breakfast for me. She does that almost every morning. She hates it when I go to school late. But I don't like eating in the morning, I always get so nervous. I don't know why but this morning I know the reason. It's my official first day in College. This feeling is so complicated, I feel so anxious and nervous and a bit scared too. Scared of the new phase of life I'm about to start, the new people I will get to meet with their different behaviours.

Questions keep running through my mind. What if I don't get to make new friends?What if I don't fit in?What's life like in college? This is always my dilemma when I'm about to start something new.

Can I ever be like others and just go with the flow? I ask myself while Rolling my eyes. I sigh and use my right palm to gently slap my forehead.

* * * *

My name is Treasure Johnson but my mum, siblings and friends call me Tracy, I'm still trying to figure out how the name came about. Only dad calls me by my full name. My dad and I aren't close. Maybe it's the fact that he used to behave like he's military but he only works in the police force as an Accountant. Well I said "used to" because now he is trying to loosen up but I don't just see myself playing and laughing or confiding in him. Mum's the opposite,though we do have issues a lot because of my rude attitude but I must say she's the best mum ever. Always going out of her way to make sacrifices for us.

I'm about adding final touches to my hair when the door suddenly opens.

My 15 year old brother, Andy barges in. I don't blame him. I gave him the liberty to sleep in my room ever since the panic attack I developed 2 years earlier.

From the way he is looking at me I know he wants something from me so I give him the "state your mission" look.

"Tracy, give me your phone to play games until you're ready to leave for school" He says, giving me this childish look. I was right!!! He needed something.

Well I can't say no, I'm too soft to.

" You can take it," I say to him.

He doesn't need to ask me for the password. The three of us uses the same password on our phones, this was before Andy's phone got spoiled Early this year.

I'm 3 years older than him and my older sister Diana is 2 years older than me.

We are no longer that close, I rarely call her ever since she got admission to study Accounting in the State University. Right now she's in her 3rd year in School and she comes home once in a while. Surprisingly, we're both studying the same course. Story for another day.

"Tracy"!!! I hear mum call again. This time I know she's angry and to confirm this she adds " I won't be Happy with you if you go late to class today"

"I'm coming, in a few minutes" I say.

I step in front of the mirror to give myself one final look. These days I spend so much time staring at myself in the mirror. I'm putting on a brown top with a few golden loops in the upper part of my chest.The down part of the top is cut in a "U" kind of shape in front and it is slitted on both sides. It is long enough to cover my small round buts. My black, short, poly skirt just goes a bit longer than my top and stops a few lengths away from my knees. My milky slippers fit with the colour of the small mini bag I got from my sister. It looks a bit faded. I made a mental note to get a few new clothes and a bag. I fold my book into two to fit into the bag.

I'm still contemplating if I look good to go, I don't like overdressing or underdressing if there's any word like that. I just love to blend in. Not like any one would even notice me, I have this low self esteem issues, I'm dark skinned. Few of the friends I manage to make are all fair skinned even my family are a bit light skinned.

Not that it's a crime to be dark skinned, I'm a Nigerian and I hail from the Southern part of my country. I have this feeling that guys over here are mostly attracted to fair girls.

Kpoi kpoi kpoi!!! I hear a knock on my bedroom door. This time I know it's my mum coming personally to drag me out. I stifle a laugh as I make my way to open the door and go out.

On my way to the dining room, I put my hand in my bag to look for my phone and check the time, then I recall I had given it to my Brother earlier.

"Andy, what's the time" I call out, "7:23", he replies from God knows where he is hiding.

"Oh my God" I gasped, sitting on one of the chairs in the dining room. I'm not surprised mum followed me here. She obviously wants to sit and watch me eat while shouting and urging me to eat fast like she normally does.

I stare at the fried ripe plantain with hot chocolate and get nervous again.

On a normal day I would take my time and eat this food to the last bite.

"Tracy, eat '' mum shouts at me. I sluggishly start eating while sighing, after a few bites and zips I can't take anymore. My stomach is screaming "You're gonna be late, and you'll have to use the front door on your first day in class, remember you're shy"

"I'm full" I turn to look at mum and say.

"No, eat a little more please" she says, "if you get an ulcer don't call me" she threatens.

"I'm going to be late if I don't leave now" I reply while standing up already. She sighs and gives a small nod as a sign of agreeing with me. I rush out the door while calling my brother to bring my phone.

* * * *

I reach school at 8:00, I'm at the Annex part of the school since that's where my department is situated.

I brought out my phone to confirm the venue of the class from our departmental group chat I was added to when I got admission.

New business lecture hall(Nblh) Rm2 it reads. I look around there are many students either going out of the gate or coming in, others are entering classes, the school looks so busy and filled up with people and cars, Of course it's a Monday, the first day of the week one shouldn't expect less. I walk forward a bit, to my right is the faculty offices, a rectangular building labeled with numbers, right of that is the bursary unit, the next building going in a circular shape is Accounting department, my department and opposite me with a small field in front is another rectangular building all painted Yellow this one is labeled Nblh. I smile and heave a sigh of relief and search for Rm2 with my eyes while walking towards it.

Getting there the Lecturer is already inside. Thank God it has two doors so I make the sign of a cross and walk in using the back door.

"Economics is a social science that studies the relationship between scarcity and resources as a means of satisfying human wants" I hear the lecturer say without break as I take a seat at the nearest space I could find at the back. I guess he is just starting and the class looks so full. Ecn110 happens to be our first course.

"Sir, please come again" a voice says, I can't locate the voice but it belongs to a guy.

"Did I come before?" The Lecturer replies causing the class to erupt into fits of laughter, I can hear oohs and ahhs as some people read different meanings into what he said.

The Lecturer looks like he is in his late thirties and has this strict looks, but he seems a bit playful and funny from the reply he just gave. I take out my book as the lecturer continues dictating the notes so fast and look around to confirm if he truly just started from someone. That's when I noticed this girl seated beside me. I recall her face from my very first time in this school when I paid my fees and came to be among the first to sign and stamp to avoid crowding up when it's rush hour.