Chasing His Muse

"I'm so sorry Collin, please don't leave me, " I begged him, though I know it was not my fault that I didn't get pregnant. It had been three years now, we had been trying to have a baby since the first year we were married.

I loved him once, with all my heart. He was my high school sweetheart. We dated in high school, then we separated because we went to a different college. Then we reunited at our best friend's wedding. We dated for almost a year on and off and decided to get married.

"You're useless wife, you can't even get pregnant. I should have left you by now. Just leave me alone! I'm so fucking upset with you right now." He slammed the door and left me to get drunk in the next room.

I was an only child, and both of my parents had passed away a couple of years back in a plane crash. Since then, I had been independent and on my own, until I met Collin. After our marriage, Collin moved in with me since I got the bigger house.

He told me to quit my job and prepared myself to be a full-time mom. I was happy, I was thinking of building a family with him.

Since I was settled in finance from my parents' inheritance, I agreed with him and quit my job.

I rushed to him trying to mend our marriage. "Collin please, don't be upset with me. We will try again, and again just please don't leave me."

"Damn it, woman! Just leave me alone. I will fuck you when it's time and we will try again, cause I'm that good of a husband to you. Now go!" He slammed the door in front of my face, as I slumped down to the floor.

From the first year that we failed to have a baby, I suggested to him that we both went to a doctor to get checked out and see what our options were. But he went mad at that idea, saying that it must've been me. From then on, it went downhill.

He would go home late, drank after work, and called me names. Told me that I was not a real wife, because I couldn't even get pregnant. From then, my love for him slowly diminished.

He never hit me, but his abuse was mental. He would threaten to leave me, every time I got my period by the end of the month. After my period ended he would fuck me every day, but never pleased me anymore. He would come inside me and leave me be, he would tell me to be a good wife and get pregnant. But every month I didn't. Until the third year this year.

It started one evening when I saw him having sex with another woman in our bed. I confronted him and yelled at him. But he just shrugged, saying that I won't let him leave, so he would do as he pleased.

I cried that night, my heart shattered to pieces. How could it turn to this? We were very much in love. Where did I go wrong?

That night I started taking sleeping pills, to get me to sleep. By the next month, I became addicted to it. While Collin was busy fucking around the house, with different women each week.