The Shadows We Escape

The morning bell was ringing louder than usual. It echoed through the house today, rattling off the walls and nearly toppling my breakfast utensils as it blared from the street.

It's a good thing I was up early since I would have had to wake up to that horrible sound if I had been lying in bed. I detested that item.

By no means was I a vicious person; Dorothy wouldn't let that happen. But when I was especially exhausted in the mornings, I did have a tendency to become cranky.

In addition, despite being exhausted, I was unable to go to sleep. It was the final day of classes and  also decision day.

I was giddy with excitement and trepidation. It became so awful that I almost didn't remember to kiss Felix and Dorothy on the cheek as I left before moving toward the school path.

I followed a larger group of kids who were making their way to the school while I strolled by myself. In situations like these, it is always preferable to remain unseen. Especially if Beatrice or other girls were nearby.

She was joking with the girls around her as she walked in front of me today. Girls that were formerly close pals of mine

However, that was before anything else. Before Jonathan had been exiled and before I was made Mr. Gaius's priority.

I anticipated that it would start with mocking and bullying motivated by jealousy. But after learning about Jonathan's actions, she was able to fully isolate me from their sisterhood.

But the mocking had begun long before then, when we were all still carefree kids. She had persuaded everyone to start referring to me as Grams in first grade. Before I learned that it stood for grams of fat, I didn't mind it. I sobbed for days and didn't want to attend school because my peers had adopted the moniker.

Being the cruel sixth grader he was, Jonathan also gathered a pail of horse dung that had been lying around for days. During break, as we were all playing on the field, he did something horrific.

We all gasped in horror as the feces splashed all over Beatrice's face and into her mouth as he flung the bucket at her, but he didn't stop there. In front of the entire school, he went on to label her a waste face.

I questioned why he would act in such a harsh way, but all he could say was that I could now go to school without being called Grams of Fat because everyone was too busy calling her a waste face.

And once Jonathan left, Beatrice's condition only worsened. However, I assumed she would now have a reason to despise me.

After all, Jonathan was tasked with finding her sister. She was made fun of because she was unable to perform her task after he ran away. She was ignored as the other recent graduates focused on starting families for the Outpost's future.

She broke my heart, but that was almost five years ago. She had no need to harbor resentment toward me. I'm innocent  of it all.

My best friend warned me not to pay attention to her, so I attempted to ignore her, claiming that she is merely envious of Mr. Gaius' attention to me. But I still find it annoying.

In this situation, I was powerless. She shouldn't hold it against me for the decisions made by others, as I never asked for his love and attention.

Suddenly, I heard the sound of shoes scuffing against the dirt path. I cast a glance to my left and see Nora's petite body step into place next to me. She gives me a modest, knowing smile that grows into a big grin when she sees mine as we exchange a private glance.