The Unwanted Luna

I have always believed in mates growing up seeing all the love around me including that of my parents made me believe that mates were the it thing.

That no one could love you as much as your mate would, because he or she was the other half of your soul.

Having a mate is a wonderful thing as I believed, that they were your other half, the ones who understand you better than anyone else, that you connect with them on another level.

A connection that cannot be compared to anything or any other connection you will ever have, even that of your parents.

The bond that ties mates is strong, specially made by the moon goddess herself and therefore sacred.

It ties two people for life in a bubble of love, companionship, comfort and security. I believed in all that and I could not wait to get my person, my mate, the one meant for only me.

I would always daydream about meeting him and connecting with him, always dreaming of where I would meet him and how it would be like staring into his eyes for the first time, feeling the sparks and watching as the bond clicked into place sealing us as one.

I imagined that my mate would fall over heads in love with me at first sight and we would go ahead and live in happiness and love, using that same love to bring beautiful children into the world.

When I became older and started understanding sex, I imagined how our mating ceremony would be like and what being mated would also be like.

I knew it would hurt the first time but I filled my head with rosy imaginations of how it would be, I believed that it would be okay because he would be right there with me, taking me gently and we would make love the whole night.

I thought about how it would feel when he marked me while being buried deep inside me, mating me.

All these things were just a fairytale a young naïve girl imagined and hoped for.

What I did not count on was my mate not wanting me, my mate being in love with someone else, someone who was not me. What I did not count on was him hating my guts and wanting nothing to do with me.

I did not count on his wolf taking over when he was about to reject me, marking me against his human’s wishes and mating me on the same night.

I was not prepared for how angry and bitter he would be, accusing me of seducing his wolf into marking me against his wishes which I honestly did not do.

I didn’t do it on purpose like he suggested, I had no control over his wolf whatsoever so how was I to blame? but most of all I wasn't prepared for the pain that would follow that night.

He had said that he hated me and wished that I hadn’t been born that way he wouldn’t have been cursed into having me as a mate.

It tore to pieces that he would say that to me, that he would hate me to the point of wishing I hadn’t been born.

Do you know how painful it is to hear your soulmate tell you that? To know that he curses your existence in this world.. it broke me but I didn’t want to give up hope that he would come to love me.