Josh Billings on Ice

like than the Black Crook and Flying Scud. Neither do i think that pedigree ever makes a hoss fast enny more than it makes a man smart. Hamb

known ov him iz that he waz got in a brickyard in Pensilvany. Tom Thum went the fust 100 miles in 10 hours that waz ever

ike menny ov the epitaffs we read

you could telegraff, bilt like a pumpkin seed, and

going tew buy a trottin hoss i would't ask about his pedigree enny more than i would ask who made a mint julep. If the hoss didn't suit me, i am

statesman tew know how tew ketch a trout; but the two best trout fishers I ever knu waz Daniel Webster and old Ishmael. Both were natiffs ov Nu En

the fish mistook him for the stub ov a tree, then would drop his worm, or hiz grasshopper, or (if the seazon waz right) would dan

ave the same kind ov a taper that a rat tarrier's tale duz. Twelve foot is long enuff for the pole, and the brook that don't raize them somewhare on its banks iz not a good trout stream. But thare aint room enuff in a letter for me tew talk trout. Go with me s

aze, the schoolmarm, in lifting me up off from the bench by the ears tew see how heavy i waz, would start the musick out of me. I never tended but one gorgous opera in my life, and it won't never be convenient for me tew tend another. A forrin woman sung sum ov the "gorgous viands" yu speak ov. She was very fat herself, and want very thoroughly drest about the neck and naber hood. She threw her head back like a sled runner, and yelled az tho she had a rat on her. I expekted every minnit tew see her arre